Today, my potbellied pig ate my neighbor's award-winning flower garden, that she has been growing for almost three years. She'd told me that she was bringing the judges of the competition, in which she was in line to win $300, to her house in two days. I have yet to tell her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML
Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML
Today, my dog proudly brought home a rabbit he'd killed. The same rabbit that belongs to my neighbor's daughter. FML
Today, after 2 weeks of hard work in the heat planting a garden, just as I thought the most stressful part was over, my wife's mother comes over and brings a huge dog. She then threw a tennis ball for the dog into my freshly seeded garden multiple times, completely destroying most of it. FML
Today, I learnt that my guinea pig can shoot poop across the room like a tiny brown torpedo. How did I find this out? It landed in my coffee. It wasn't until after I'd finished my coffee that I noticed it. FML
Today, my sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under my care died of unknown causes. FML
Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML
Today, it's been a few weeks since I took up gardening to relax, caring for my plants, and they finally started blooming. Excitedly, I posted a picture online, only to have a friend tell me that my "beautiful flowers" are actually weeds. Apparently, I have a talent for cultivating the unwanted. FML
Today, a bear dragged my neighbor's garbage across the street and stopped right in the middle of my front yard, where it proceeded to scatter the contents and have a feast. When it was finished, it took a massive dump on my lawn. FML
Today, my neighbor came over to borrow my lawnmower. As I have previously loaned it to him and he returned it broken, I refused. He then promptly ate the strawberries off my daughter's small strawberry plant and stormed off. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
androiddestroya 7
you have a pet pig!? lucky!!!!! :D
moonlight970 0
You need to tell her. The sooner the better.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (111)
stevenmx86 8
You're am idiot but it IS only $300. I mean, $300 isn't chump change but at least you didn't deprive her of some life changing amount of money...
brookig 10
Update us on what happened! :-D
beebeeL 1
Offer the pig! Only way you can save the situation. That's what I'd want..
mikelust1977 7
I wouldn't tell her a thing
OfficeNinja 5
tell her now. but say "rotten kids vandalized" instead of "my pet pig ate...". half truth half lie cancels out :)
jerico616 14
Pigs are BACON, not PETS!!! You deserve it for trying to go against the natural order of things!
randomtigers2470 2
You idiot!!! Yes we use pigs as food, but they make the best pets ever, there intelligent (unlike you), fun, clean (not that you would know!) :@
paprikacha 9
...then give her $300. She'll be heartbroken, but your pet just wiped out three years of effort and likely a ridiculous amount of money. It's impossible to make that up to her, but you can at least compensate her for the garden showing. And...a fence might be a very good idea.
Arch27 27
It does suck for both sides on this one. I'd probably have to come clean and let her know the pig ate the flowers. I'd also give her $300 to help start over. Word of advice, OP - Good fences make good neighbors. Contain your pet.
perdix 31
Tell her your pig won a Best Pig Competition because of his diet of flowers. You want to split the $1000 prize with her. Yeah, you'll be out $500, but at least your pig lives. The poor pig shouldn't have to die because of your stupidity, irresponsibility and incompetence.
jayellef 3
ever seen I love Lucy? same thing happened on one episode, replace them with wax flowers and hope it's not to hot out. good luck