Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant with my boyfriend and his family. After the meal, we all decided to open our fortune cookies and read them out loud. On mine, it said "You will change your mind many times before settling down." I didn't realize what it meant until after I'd read it to them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML
Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML
Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML
Today, I was invited by my boyfriend's parents for dinner at their house. The dinner went well I thought, until I was getting ready to leave. Before I could make it out the front door, I could hear them discussing their disappointment that their son would ever consider someone like me. FML
Today, I blushed when a fortune cookie said, "You have the attitude of a winner." My self esteem is that low. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML
Today, I finally found out that the tattoo on my lower back means "slut" in Chinese, instead of "good fortune" as I always thought it did. FML
Today, I was going to break up with my boyfriend after we went out for dinner. To my surprise, our families were also in the restaurant, to witness him propose to me. FML
Today, I spent all day preparing a big, elaborate Italian dinner for my boyfriend, who recently discovered he was part Italian. He came home, turned up his nose and said "I was in the mood for Chinese". FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to a restaurant for lunch and said, “It’s time we talk about our future.” I got all emotional, thinking he was going to propose. Instead, he calmly told me he’s moving to another country. I cried into my breadsticks. FML
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Top comments
evilscorpi 29
well you could have said "and ive already done that in the past, now i have you." :-*
every1luvsboners 11
So, did you eat the damn thing or not? I'm on the edge of my seat here, people.
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Comments (121)
ideasrule 13
It's a piece of paper. If your bf or his family gives a **** about what's in fortune cookie, I feel sorry for them.
Buzzy123 7
Your username in Spanish means desk
mutinykitty 18
and French. But she probably knows that. Considering it's her username. :)
SwedishDerp 3
Ha
theangel1 3
You are gorgeous, we should get to know eachother;)
crownlogic 25
Well hey, it said you will change your mind many times OP, you could always change it back to wanting your current bf. However, the offending cookie and your indecisive ways might lead him astray...You'll find out in the next cookie.
Fooberry 9
It"s a FORTUNE COOKIE; it's not real. Get over it.
tucker5005 1
atleast it was a fortune cookie that actually had a fortune... none of that "have a good day" bullshit.
jkmcnns1005 6
I once got a fortune cookie that read: "oops wrong cookie" no joke.
Strafeh 9
Are thy Christian? No one believe that shit
dubsqueet 0
I got this fortune today at panda express. coincidentally, I broke up with my boyfriend, also today.