Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant with my boyfriend and his family. After the meal, we all decided to open our fortune cookies and read them out loud. On mine, it said "You will change your mind many times before settling down." I didn't realize what it meant until after I'd read it to them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML
Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML
Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML
Today, I was invited by my boyfriend's parents for dinner at their house. The dinner went well I thought, until I was getting ready to leave. Before I could make it out the front door, I could hear them discussing their disappointment that their son would ever consider someone like me. FML
Today, I blushed when a fortune cookie said, "You have the attitude of a winner." My self esteem is that low. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML
Today, I finally found out that the tattoo on my lower back means "slut" in Chinese, instead of "good fortune" as I always thought it did. FML
Today, I was going to break up with my boyfriend after we went out for dinner. To my surprise, our families were also in the restaurant, to witness him propose to me. FML
Today, I spent all day preparing a big, elaborate Italian dinner for my boyfriend, who recently discovered he was part Italian. He came home, turned up his nose and said "I was in the mood for Chinese". FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to a restaurant for lunch and said, “It’s time we talk about our future.” I got all emotional, thinking he was going to propose. Instead, he calmly told me he’s moving to another country. I cried into my breadsticks. FML
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Top comments
evilscorpi 29
well you could have said "and ive already done that in the past, now i have you." :-*
every1luvsboners 11
So, did you eat the damn thing or not? I'm on the edge of my seat here, people.
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Comments (121)
Enslaved 38
Every time I read a fortune cookie, I always say "in bed" after. It makes the reading of it much more fun. (:
leadman1989 16
I feel so stoopit. I JUST got your picture LMAO. You clever clever shrew.
perdix 31
Until you get the one that says, "You will throw up." And then it comes true.
Right_Click 12
I'm fairly certain that fortune made him feel awkward. I mean, it pretty much says that she'll move from boyfriend to boyfriend until she finds "the one"... Meaning he probably isn't... O.o
sirhobothesecond 3
Am I the only one that thinks OP is unnecessarily making a big deal about this? I mean, holy shit it's a piece of paper inside a 25 cent cookie written by some creep in a factory. Don't let that shit describe who you are, damn.
purplemnm 9
25 cents is pretty darn expensive for a fortune cookie...
leadman1989 16
Why don't fortune cookies ever say really nasty things? I think it'd be funny "Stop eating this cookie and hit the gym your body will thank you" You -- :0
robo_thunder 13
well since it was on a little piece of paper from a tasteless cookie it must be true.
Vash_41288 10
She is Morpheus... Searching for "The One"
zombiekitten87 12
It's a piece of paper in a cookie, not the Oracle at Delphi. They don't even have fortune cookies in China, it's a stupid, albeit tasty gimmick. Just laugh it off and get on with your life.
Garytt 0
I dont get it
ChantelRenaeee 0
Do you seriously rely on pieces of paper to tell your fortune? Do you rely on anything to tell your fortune? No one one what your future will be and let it be like that. Take life as it comes and deal with the consequences.
ChantelRenaeee 0
Knows*
only1starr 0
it only matters if the cookie taste good :3