Today, I spent all day preparing a big, elaborate Italian dinner for my boyfriend, who recently discovered he was part Italian. He came home, turned up his nose and said "I was in the mood for Chinese". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in an attempt to be romantic, I kissed my husband as passionately as I could. After, he looked at me and said, "You taste like Chinese food." FML
Today, my boyfriend came home and demanded dinner. I started suggesting things, but he threw out that we should just fend for ourselves. I made pasta and offered him some, but he decided to throw a fit and go to bed at 6:30pm without dinner. He then woke up at 9 to complain he was hungry, then slept on the couch. FML
Today, my parents finally invited my boyfriend over for dinner. Everything was going great until my mother asked him his profession. He stuffed his mouth full of lasagna, snorted, and then responded, "I clean shit for a living." FML
Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he came up the stairs, "Stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the trash. We'll eat sandwiches. FML
Today, my Italian boyfriend claims his dad owned a restaurant and taught him everything he knows. His dad must have worked at a McDonald’s then because my boyfriend is the only Italian I’ve met who overcooks pasta into mush, can’t season tomato sauce properly, and thinks Domino’s makes good pizza. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
Today, I cooked dinner for my boyfriend, hoping to impress him with my culinary skills. I burnt the garlic bread, overcooked the chicken, and managed to set off the smoke alarm three times. When I finally served the meal, my boyfriend said, "It's like a sad buffet at a middle school prom." FML
Today, my boyfriend spent forty minutes making pasta sauce when we had a perfectly good jar of pasta sauce in the pantry. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
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Top comments
mrsmcscruggs 5
Should have said "and I WAS in the mood for sex!"
rockefoe 6
what an ass!
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Comments (93)
sexyschmergel 0
smack him with a meatball
rockefoe 6
hahaha that's what i meant to say. xD
rockefoe 6
what an ass!
WOW_BS 0
Watch your language.
jeremyt8nc 6
if your girlfriend is cooking..no matter what should you disrespect that!
rockefoe 6
do you mean don't disrespect that? lol i hope so! :)
jeremyt8nc 6
Whoops! yeah I meant to say don't disrespect. fail, on my part :/
prince122 0
stfu and ur food.
JaydnGage 0
I'm just going to out this out there: you should have just made him a sandwich.
Moe954 0
Why? Maybe he's part Chinese as well.
tatababe 1
next time put laxatives in his food and say the washrooms are clogged
DEXter501 0
What, does he think you're a mindreader or something? What an idiot.
mrsmcscruggs 5
Time to find a new boyfriend.
dezinspaaace 0
lmfao, shove his face in the spaghetti and stuff some garlic bread up his nose.
WOW_BS 0
He's a man. You better get in the kitchen and make him his well deserved Chinese food.
ritchgirl1 0
ha love this comment:) but why do people think garlic bread is Italian!! it's bruschetta which isn't really garlic bread. American/English people have personalised it for their taste!
SkyEatsJack 4
Bruschetta as nothing to do with garlic. I live in Italy and nobody eats garlic bread sticks here.
mrsmcscruggs 5
Should have said "and I WAS in the mood for sex!"
Acousticpixie14 6
Hahahah that's a pretty good one! OP, I'd eat the Italian myself and not stop gushing about how amazing it was, and leave him to figure dinner out for himself. Oh yeah, and don't put out tonight.
WOW_BS 0
He's a man. You better get in the kitchen and make him some well deserved Chinese food.
m0tl3ycru3qwr 0
We already knew that...but thats great! All trolls should come out of the closet like that. It's not healthy for u keep everything all bottled up inside. Itz okay to feel sad sumtymes!!!
afdude87 6
16 wins the WTF are you smoking before you post award. and maybe he really really wanted Chinese? :)
demarcusT 0
"I still am in the mood for your sister."
fiveonefiveoh 0
well.. just because he just found out hes Italian, doesn't mean he's gone crave Italian! lmao tho.. still, u took the time out to cook for him, he should appreciate any meal u cook for him.. Ur a sweetheart
dudeitsdanny 10
You know, I have to agree. Why would he suddenly want Italiab food after finding out he's Italian? OP deserves it a little for making such assumption, but he should be happy you cook for him at all. Still.. That was a big assumption, OP. Stuff like this works better when you make plans for it. Surprises are nice, but some stuff is good to ask about. Not like being Italian is reason to celebrate.
DjeePee 25
Assumptions? My guess is that OP's boyfriend already had eaten Italian food in his lifetime - who, in this culture, has not? - and that OP just wanted to cook an Italian meal as a sweet gesture. It's rude of the boyfriend to turn up his nose, whilst seeing and therefore knowing that his girlfriend has spend lots of effort and preparation in it. He should be damn happy that his girlfriend is willing to do that for him. There is always another day for Chinese.
cradle6 13
34- exactly. The whole business about it being Italian is irrelevant. The fact that OP spent time and effort making an elaborate meal is very sweet and should be appreciated. His response makes me think he should be put down. He's an asshole. But since, fmls only tell part of story, it is possible that he was just making a quick joke. As long as he told her right after. And if so, then obviously this is not an fml.
Acousticpixie14 6
Hahahah that's a pretty good one! OP, I'd eat the Italian myself and not stop gushing about how amazing it was, and leave him to figure dinner out for himself. Oh yeah, and don't put out tonight.
sourgirl101 29
Fine, tell him he's a charge of dinner then! Sorry OP. At least Italian tastes so much better the next day. IMO. (: