Today, while leaving a football game, I saw a half-empty bottle of Mountain Dew on the ground. It was night-time and there weren't many people around, so for a laugh, I picked it up and tossed it behind me as hard as I could. It hit someone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML
Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML
Today, I was trying to find my phone. My friend found it, and instead of handing it to me like a normal person, he threw it at me. I'm terrible at catching stuff. It bounced off my arm and landed in his cup of Sprite. FML
Today, I passed a field where some kids were playing football. The ball rolled over in my direction, so they asked me to kick it over. I tried and failed three times, and ended up throwing it over, where it embarrassingly landed about 2 feet away. They had to come over and get it. FML
Today, I got short-changed for a 12-pack of Mountain Dew. but I let it slide, even though they charged me double. i get home and immediately the box exploded and all the cans went falling down a flight of wooden stairs onto concrete. Fourteen stairs. FML
Today, I drank water from a random, half-full water bottle I found inside a bumper car (AKA dodgems) at the local fairground, thinking it was mine. It wasn't. FML
Today, trying to look cool, I threw my coke bottle in the air, and tried to catch it with one hand. I missed and it fell to the floor. Luckily, it wasn't open, but in my unimaginable stupidity, I opened it less than five seconds later. FML
Today, someone at work left 10 unopened beers after hours. I’m not much of a drinker, but free is free, so I took them home during my lunch break. After work, I left my new phone on top of my car, forgot about it, drove off, and it smashed in the middle of the road. Looks like I’m drinking those beers tonight. FML
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML
Today, at my son's soccer game, I tried to give him a bottle of Gatorade, but the top was damp with condensation and I couldn't get a grip. I wiped it dry and tried again, successfully this time. No big deal, except my wife was watching and screamed, "IT SHOULDN'T TAKE THAT LONG!" Everyone stopped and stared. FML
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Top comments
illmatic2 16
You shouldn't dew that again.
BOOSCAREDU 0
Why? How would you get a laugh from it?
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Comments (133)
BOOSCAREDU 0
Why? How would you get a laugh from it?
DrDilllonReese 12
You'd be surprised at what entertains these cavepeople....
holybuckets 0
Silly Pennsylvanians..
DrDilllonReese 12
I'm Pennsylvanian... I don't find this entertaining... Stereotypes at their finest...
Dispute 3
Oh my gosh this is gonna be hilarious! Oh crap I hit someone in a highly populated area! :o
DrDilllonReese 12
Haha Pennsylvania is a lot more populated than people give it credit for, it has more Representatives than many states can claim.
LiyIa_fml 8
Sooooo just say sorry, laugh, and move on. Thats what I do!
the_pan1c 5
I think its more of an fml for the person who got hit, 'Today, some random guy decided that for a laugh he'd chuck a half empty mountain dew bottle behind him. It hit me. FML' LOL
Notimetobleed 14
Field goal...
fr33m3xican 0
what have we learned today?
brittney4598 0
If he threw it behind himself for a laugh, didn't he expect/want it to hit someone?..
fanceh 10
Wait, so you are leaving a football game, which tends to cause huge cluster ***** of people, then assume because it is night time, nobody is around? The stupidity of peoples amuses me.
ChrisGarlick 1
Pennsylvania is the shit. Texas is dumb
lemon_phat 11
108- not all objects are thrown with the intent to hit people...
Reign_fml 3
Am I the only person that thought this fml was going to end with op drinking piss after reading the first line?
kewlkate 9
Ahahahhahaha. Wait... I don't get it... :/
zowieandzander77 1
I def thought that was going to be the end too
aceman1992 9
118- your a Dick.
detroitsucks247 3
lol i saw some guy at the bears game get hit with a bottle. 0.o
detroitsucks247 3
lol i saw some guy at the bears game get hit with a bottle. 0.o
detroitsucks247 3
lol i saw some guy at the bears game get hit with a bottle. 0.o
hinchkongfang 0
148, 49 and 150, did it REALLY need to be said 3 times?
jellitonoctopus 19
126- i thought the same after I read the first line too!
signuplogin 1
I thought he was gonna drink it haha
homieskillet 0
He's a retard
dubsqueet 0
immediately.
dre_bro11 12
54, if you're some random walking behind OP, how do you know he was throwing it 'for laughs'? Also, quit with the territorial remarks. No place is better than another. You're all from the same country, right.
birdofparadise 16
He totally deserves it for Dew Abuse.
ohxdamnxkay02 12
i love Pennsylvania..
Sydknee 8
"half-empty"... this person is a pessimist.
DrDilllonReese 12
175- no place is better than any other? Heres a counter example. A private neighborhood compared to a ghetto.
ImFrackinBored 13
OP must be a pretty exciting person...
chels1994 11
you and i both -_-
illmatic2 16
You shouldn't dew that again.
Dudelike89 8
Or he'll be in a mountain of trouble.
DrewsFML 8
Next time look both ways so you don't accidentally stick your can in someone else's face.
Tobias5505 0
IOC he does it again, it'll be code red
nalia18 8
I didnt know you could be hit on my an empty can... Eh eh?... No.
truebrotrue 7
67-your picture frightens me
MrSexyPants 14
illmatic and his puns are back! :D
archava 0
booooooo!
claiiire_fml 17
ahhh! oh, 135, you scared me.
FreshlyCut 0
Haven't you heard heard that song by lover boy?A pig and an elephant DNA just won't splice.
alsnyder12 0
It's like saying you dropped something. And then saying it fell.
ed1970 6
You're kind of a jerk.
xmayne 0
You're a jerk for calling op a jerk for no reason.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Personally, I think anyone who picks up litter just to toss it again is a jerk. Throwing it where it could hit someone is a complete dick move.
lmfaoloool 0
Why .. Just why .. lol
StoryOfTheYear 15
The real FML is that OP was actually recycling like a boss, but some idiot stepped in between OP and the bin.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Oh my. I forgot a hyphen. :(
btnhdude 0
Why?!?! Ju-jus*sniffle* ... just... W-w-why.... Ju-js-just... Just... Just why LOL.
thekewlest69 9
hahaha this is some funny s***
helloimmia 4
Well oops.
xoxogossipgirl9 6
it's more like f the other person's life
xmayne 0
I'd reply to this but it would just be moderated.
every1luvsboners 11
If I was the person that you hit I would have shoved that bottle up your arse until you told me that you loved it.
MrSassypants 34
Then after he tells you he loves it stick it up so more because, well, he loves it.
thisisafunnyname 12
Today after seeing my favorite football team get ****** in the ass, while leaving the stadium some asshe threw a half full can of mountain dew at me. FML
My_Nightmare 19
Boners, are you the reason for DocBastard's profile picture?! Ba ha
Joshoa123 16
Football games are normally pretty populated events.
ajmacrae 5
How lame is your life that THAT is your idea of a good laugh?
RyanTheKoolCat 0
shouldaa drank it yumm (: