Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. His dog, Baxter, has a bad farting problem. I decided it would be okay to let a silent fart out and blame the dog. Baxter was outside when I blamed him. FML
Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML
Today, I had a date over for the first time. Everything was going well until my dog decided to wedge himself between us on the couch, growl at my date, and then pee on his shoes. My date laughed it off, but my dog seemed to be giving me a smug “I warned you” look for the rest of the night. FML
Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML
Today, my boyfriend leaned over and sniffed me like a dog. He does this almost every day, even in front of people sometimes. FML
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Top comments
eddeeezzyy 19
The ultimate **** block.
FML64128 7
That stinks.
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Comments (107)
Zebediabolical 45
Are you certain it wasn't him blaming it on the dog? Just sayin'.
joselgarciac 9
Sure, blame it in the dog...
outoftown 27
Dry pet food can get a mold that makes farts truly horrible, even if the food smells ok to you. Try a fresh bag, a see if that helps your dog's digestion -- and your love life.
Kaitlyncranston 6
That's what my dog dose all the time I hate it!
LissaMccracken 23
...dose?
sthrnbell 9
My dog has the worst farts too. My neighbor was visiting and didn't believe me..until he farted on her. No doubts from her now!
4x4kid 7
Yah just blame it on the poor defenseless dog for ur uncontrollable urge to stink it up Nasty
not_a_anonomous 9
I bet your dog is a bitch
worldclassrager 41
Troll dog...lol... Better luck next time OP...maybe somewhere more public will make it easier...
Chrisosaurus 3
or maybe you DID shat and blamed him Lol. he just couldn't defend himself. so he got thrown under the bus so you could get the d. but little did you know. the your boyfriends is actually o.o Caesar millan. the dog whisperer...and your dogs like "don't listen to her. its a trap"
djPanda 8
That's why I don't let my dog past the living room