Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. His dog, Baxter, has a bad farting problem. I decided it would be okay to let a silent fart out and blame the dog. Baxter was outside when I blamed him. FML
Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML
Today, I had a date over for the first time. Everything was going well until my dog decided to wedge himself between us on the couch, growl at my date, and then pee on his shoes. My date laughed it off, but my dog seemed to be giving me a smug “I warned you” look for the rest of the night. FML
Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML
Today, my boyfriend leaned over and sniffed me like a dog. He does this almost every day, even in front of people sometimes. FML
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Top comments
eddeeezzyy 19
The ultimate **** block.
FML64128 7
That stinks.
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Comments (107)
gigglegigglesnor 13
Well that stinks
Ksweety_fml 27
It's not just your dog ruin the mood, but when your boyfriend think you did it. Lmao.....
McPickleStache 10
I feel your pain, my dog farts all the time especially with people over
_sempiternus 11
Who cares if he doesn't believe you? As long as he didn't run away screaming, this is something to laugh about together. :) FYL though, because dog farts are usually so much worse than human farts.
lux0rd 18
Whether it was you who farted or not, if your boyfriend still gets offended by the fact that girls fart you're too young to be dating.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Or maybe he's that immature.
glabberfasted 16
Oh please. I spoke to a 26 year old man last week who ACTUALLY thought girls didn't poop. Age has nothing to do with immaturity or stupidity.
Eg94 2
"the dog"
The_Big_Boss 20
What? Girls don't fart. Everybody knows that
apu_nahasapeemap 10
If only that was true. This one girl I dated was always farting on my sofa. She was a stealthy farter too - silent but only noticeable when my nostrils started burning. Stinky poops too, the kind that fills entire apartments.
ViktoriaaKills 13
plot twist: she doesn't have a dog.
BradTheBrony 19
Plot twist: She WAS the dog.
sandyclaus 15
I think I love you! nope, it's just gas...
cupcakeminella 9
Kinda weird to call him your boyfriend if you haven't even kissed
sanecatlady 13
Well, once upon a time in horse and buggy days you weren't supposed to even kiss on the first date.
fucMyLifeSoHard 18
38- So because they are being modest and taking it slow, that are considered weird?
cupcakeminella 9
Well, good thing we don't live in those times. Or are amish
cupcakeminella 9
I just think it's weird to actually label him as your boyfriend if you haven't even kissed.
RedPillSucks 33
All that's required is mutual love and respect. Kissing is optional.
Eleanor6141 11
47, so if 2 people are married and haven't had sex yet, they're not really "married" ?
JVIarijke 24
Why is this being downvoted? It's just so true. If I had a 'boyfriend' I hadn't even kissed, I would consider him more like a friend than a boyfriend. Having a relation should involve at least some romance and physical stuff...
ViktoriaaKills 13
uh, when I was younger all it took to be considered dating was hugging and holding hands. when someone asks you out, you don't immediately suck face... and if you do? well, you'd probably be considered a bit of a tramp.
apu_nahasapeemap 10
I know of couples who didn't kiss until the minister said "you may kiss the bride."
vewwe 20
I totally agree that it is sort of weird being boyfriend and girlfriend without having kissed yet. It sounds like they are in primary school when the kids send notes to eachother asking if they want to be boyfriend and girlfriend... When I was around 8 we used to do that, but we also used to hide in the classroom and kiss during recess...