Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. His dog, Baxter, has a bad farting problem. I decided it would be okay to let a silent fart out and blame the dog. Baxter was outside when I blamed him. FML
Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML
Today, I had a date over for the first time. Everything was going well until my dog decided to wedge himself between us on the couch, growl at my date, and then pee on his shoes. My date laughed it off, but my dog seemed to be giving me a smug “I warned you” look for the rest of the night. FML
Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML
Today, my boyfriend leaned over and sniffed me like a dog. He does this almost every day, even in front of people sometimes. FML
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Top comments
eddeeezzyy 19
The ultimate **** block.
FML64128 7
That stinks.
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Comments (107)
trolled11 8
thats a bitch move
elcee1987 18
Guess that killed the mood
mjt123 7
Dog's thoughts: Haha she's with her boyfriend! Let's stink up the whole room and embarrass her! *poops* Your thoughts: OH FML! Boyfriend's thoughts: EWWWWW DID YOU JUST POOP?!?!
srod1326 5
So he's your bf but have yet to kiss? Weird.
Kifly95 4
That's what you get for dating an asshole smh I bet he's already kissed many other girls
graphicstyle7 17
Past the age of 16, if your "boyfriend" has not kissed you by the third date, consider your address the Friend Zone. Or the "just doing it for now until something better comes along" zone. It's one thing if he really is so into you he's too shy to kiss you, but that's kinda what dating is for, it's a go-ahead to do things like kiss. Dog fart? Either you're very young, or that's a very lame excuse.
guitarst1071995 12
I still don't believe it was your dog
mk8833 9
Damn. Well maybe if he comes around & believes you later it will be cool. But if he really doesn't want you after this fart incident, he's not worth your time.
eatenByZombies 1
Yeah, blame it on the dog
wildsweetchild 19
something tells me it was him, not the dog