Today, I got a splinter in my shop class. The teacher dug at it with tweezers for a while, then told me that my best bet would be to wait until the wound got infected and formed a bunch of pus around the splinter to force it out. It's in my dominant hand's palm. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to remove a splinter from one of my roommates. This would have been better if the splinter wasn't deeply lodged in their asscheek. FML
Today, I now know how it feels to have a splinter of wood hammered a full inch underneath your fingernail. FML
Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML
Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML
Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML
Today, I finally get to go surfing! On my way out, I got a splinter that’s still way too deep to remove, causing me to cancel the surf day and now it really hurts to walk. FML
Today, I reached for my lip balm while laying in bed in the dark. I accidentally knocked my bedside lamp, and it fell on my hand and shattered. A huge glass fragment impaled my hand. I just got out of surgery. FML
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Top comments
chuka81 27
You have two choices here. You could either listen to your teacher, or go see a qualified doctor.
anthonydpalm 18
Cut your whole hand off OP. Trust me, I'm a doctor.
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Comments (97)
1991stealth 21
Soak your hand in water for awhile, and then try to get it out again. If that doesn't work, it'll come out naturally soon.
katachristic 19
I never understood why people use tweezers for this. A sewing needle always worked better for me.
hekinokuroihi 20
It's just a splinter...it's not like a stake is in your hand. It'll come out when you shower most likely.
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Something UNDER your skin doesn't just wash away...
hekinokuroihi 20
Yes, it does. I have had many a splinter in my 22 years on this planet and they all go away naturally. Don't be so freaking dramatic.
dancerr45 7
Lol that doesn't mean it came out in the shower. It means that your body pushed it out, naturally.
lexos 16
It really depends on what type of splinter it is. Some kinds of wood can give really nasty infections
chuka81 27
You have two choices here. You could either listen to your teacher, or go see a qualified doctor.
Liamj774 36
Now, now. Watch yourself trying to give rational advice. tsk tsk.
supplyman 5
Yes. Run to the Dr over a splinter. Bunch of cry babies. Quick down vote me.
andrmac 25
Maybe the school nurse would be a better bet?
Dale_shackleford 13
I wouldn't be surprised if the nurse was a worse bet. At my school the nurse is just the receptionist and she's not even allowed to touch the students or administer medicine. She had band aids and holds people's prescription meds in case of emergencies. Still though, if it's bad, see a real doctor
hellnosucka 27
that's great. just bandage up your hand and use it as an excuse to not do your school work.
anthonydpalm 18
Cut your whole hand off OP. Trust me, I'm a doctor.
GarfieldDaCat 5
doctor: quick give me the axe nurse! nurse: why!? doctor: because i got to chop off this boys hand!
UserDoesNotExist 12
"wait until the wound gets infected" uh... what?
Singularity01 9
Figure out which way it went in, then use a credit card or something similar to provide constant, even pressure and force it out. You could also soak it in water for a while. Just don't wait to get an infection; there's a reason he's a teacher and not a doctor.
bandaidstations 28
Still kind of disconcerting because he's a teacher who is probably mandated to take some sort of first aid training. I had a teacher that was hospitalized for the same reason. she ended up losing her finger.
chocoladisco 1
I literally have had a splinter in one of my fingers for years. My body encapsulated it somehow, I sometimes make jokes about it as functioning as a second bone
brezzyanna 17
I got a shard of glass pushed into my thumb when I was 5. We couldn't get it out. It's still there.
M3DO 24
Does the glass shard hurt?
sirrubberduckie 37
I got a 1.5-inch splinter completely wedged under my fingernail once, and that's actually one of the choices the ER doctor gave me. He said they could either anesthetize my finger and dig it out with a giant needle (which is what I ended up choosing), or I could wait for it to get infected and see if the pus pushed it out. He also said that it could stay wedged in there, get infected, and not come out on its own, at which point I'd have to go back to the doctor and have them dig it out while it was infected. So, go to the doctor.
YesIamjudgingU 4
Well, guess you won't be spanking the monkey with that hand any time soon, huh?