Today, I have a cold. I can't begin to count how many times I've sneezed throughout the day, but I can count how many times I've sneezed so hard that I've peed myself: twice. Once while I was at work helping a customer, the other while sitting on the couch next to my boyfriend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML
Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML
Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML
Today, I peed myself in the dressing room after work when I sneezed. Someone else just walked in as I was trying to dry off my jeans with paper, and probably smelled that I had peed myself. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML
Today, I sneezed four times in succession. The problem is that I've never sneezed more than three times in a row in my life, so the fourth one came as such a shock to me that I accidentally banged my head on my desk when it occurred. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML
Today, as I was trying to get into the grocery store, I had a sneezing fit. I've typically never had one, so I didn't really know how to handle it. This one was a new record: 11 sneezes and I hadn't had the foresight to bring tissues. FML
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Top comments
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Well they say a sneeze is 1/8 of an ******; at least you're having fun.
Pleonasm 36
I hope they weren't laughing too hard achou! I know this isn't sneezy for you but hang in there, the cold will go away soon. You know what they say: Starve a fever, pee a cold.
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Comments (72)
patriciadusud_fml 8
Well, at least you are not the French nurse sneezing hard while taking blood samples to the patients....
makkarari 18
One day u will look back and laugh at this!!! But I really hope u feel better soon!
Capt_Oblivious 10
Urine for a rough time.
barefootchic 6
Look up into a bright light or press your finger to the roof of your mouth when you feel a sneeze coming on. And if your boyfriend really loves you, he'll let it go. Feel better OP!
CharresBarkrey 16
I thought looking into bright light was supposed to make you sneeze.
Night777 4
Wow I can honestly say I've never sneezed even close to that hard
Pwuj 6
Hopefully it was jst a trickle,. Idk why after reading this my mind kinda did a replay of you sneezing and a bit of a urine escaping your vag* kinda turn me on,. ☺
Psycho_Babydoll 26
Urine doesn't come from the ******.... *facepalm*
CyborgBanana 12
You sir, are a creep.
jarrettd 27
Don't hold the sneeze in or you'll crap yourself.
KiddNYC1O 22
You can count once on your chest exploding! Err, zero actually.
katties 27
Ummm... That's when you begin doing Kegel-exercises, cause peeing yourself when sneezing isn't really normal - it's incontinence...
tamarstep 2
the pleasures of aging...lol