Today, I have a cold. I can't begin to count how many times I've sneezed throughout the day, but I can count how many times I've sneezed so hard that I've peed myself: twice. Once while I was at work helping a customer, the other while sitting on the couch next to my boyfriend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML
Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML
Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML
Today, I peed myself in the dressing room after work when I sneezed. Someone else just walked in as I was trying to dry off my jeans with paper, and probably smelled that I had peed myself. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML
Today, I sneezed four times in succession. The problem is that I've never sneezed more than three times in a row in my life, so the fourth one came as such a shock to me that I accidentally banged my head on my desk when it occurred. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML
Today, as I was trying to get into the grocery store, I had a sneezing fit. I've typically never had one, so I didn't really know how to handle it. This one was a new record: 11 sneezes and I hadn't had the foresight to bring tissues. FML
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Top comments
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Well they say a sneeze is 1/8 of an ******; at least you're having fun.
Pleonasm 36
I hope they weren't laughing too hard achou! I know this isn't sneezy for you but hang in there, the cold will go away soon. You know what they say: Starve a fever, pee a cold.
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Comments (72)
Egao_fml 8
That sucks, get well soon D:
yoyoforpeace 14
Sorry op I'm sitting at home with a cold too but I've yet to pee myself.
gc327072 31
Will she get better? *sunglasses* Depends.....
AKGirlinSD 20
Get well soon, OP, and wear a pad or panty liner. That way you have some protection until the sneezing calms down.
HKCgrimmjow 15
Has anyone else had the random idea that when you need to pee... Go to the bathroom, instead of waiting and sneezing
AKGirlinSD 20
38, when someone sneezes so hard, the bladder pushes out whatever is in there. Same as puking/vomiting. Your insides are pushing so hard one way that it makes you pee even though you didn't even need to go.
yoyoforpeace 14
I withdraw my comment as of today...I feel your pain OP!
HKCgrimmjow 15
63- I have yet in my life to have my bladder turn against me and make me pee myself, my point is if there is nothing TO push out then your fine.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Well they say a sneeze is 1/8 of an ******; at least you're having fun.
windfuelsfire 10
And if the bf is into watersports, he could have fun as well
CaptainSaveAHoe 11
Golden shower anyone?
TheFirstSamurai 18
So if you sneeze 8 times does that mean you've orgasmed?
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Maybe that's not pee Op is feeling if it comes out every eighth sneeze...
lilhellian 27
Damn I only sneeze 7 times in a row:( When will I ******? D':
CharresBarkrey 16
Pretty sure it means you'd have to have one sneeze as powerful as 8 sneezes, not 8 individual regular sneezes. It would just restart each time.
mariah3269 4
Lol captain save a hoe!? Haha made my day
Spazz420 7
Throw a pad on!! Better than having wet pants!!
hama806 19
Or try kegel exercises. You'll kill two birds with one stone. They help to minimize stress incontinence and even better, intensify orgasms.
Pleonasm 36
I hope they weren't laughing too hard achou! I know this isn't sneezy for you but hang in there, the cold will go away soon. You know what they say: Starve a fever, pee a cold.
Brssps 13
You my friend just made my day
ICastillo 25
Well talk about getting wet. You better start depends around until you feel better.
ICastillo 25
Wearing*
lilhellian 27
I had a hard time deciphering this one.. .-. Maybe 35 days in G.B. will help?
ICastillo 25
Ya sorry about that shitty message, I was still half asleep when I posted it.
ICastillo 25
Comment*
billyz77 24
Next time you feel a bad one coming on, pull down your pants, bend over, plug your nose and see if you can blast a turd across the room. I guarantee your boyfriend will enjoy the show.
Welshite 40
There is something seriously wrong with you.
Pleonasm 36
I don't think that projectile faecal bombing is everyone's cup of tea...
Obey_StudBoii 23
What the hell?
Enslaved 38
Great. . . Thanks for now making me think about that "two girls one cup" video. :P
Ozuru 11
Why is this being thumbed down so much?
billyz77 24
They just don't have our sense of humor, I suppose. I thought it was funny as hell but then, like no.1 said, there's something seriously wrong with me. Lol.
gc327072 31
54- if it's any consolation, I laughed hard at this. I mean, DUH, it's sarcastic! Or instead of duh, "no shit" applies especially well here.
JakeBillJim 4
This made me laugh so ******* hard.
Chanti_fml 26
Call in sick at work, seat yourself with some tissues on the toilet and sneeze away. At least then you won't get some wet pants. And remember, your blather will empty sometime!
little_one 20
Depends... Never leave home without them.
josiemorehouse 12
LOL. Reminds me of the movie Hall Pass, haha!!
lilhellian 27
Atleast he isn't poking your belly button..