Today, I went to court expecting to walk out a free man. Turns out my misdemeanor offense couldn't compare to the crime I committed when I walked into the court house with a switchblade tucked into my shoe. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was arrested for carrying a dangerous weapon. I was on my way home from the shop where I'd bought a new kitchen knife. FML
Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML
Today, I found out the off-duty cop who beat my face in front of a dozen witnesses was wasn’t even charged with assault. I have court in two weeks. FML
Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML
Today, I went to court because I got a traffic ticket for running a red light. While I was in court, I found out it was actually for a car I had sold years ago. FML
Today, I had to go to court to see whether my driver's license is suspended for an entire year. I woke up early, went to court, and everything went perfectly, with all the charges being dropped. Unfortunately, I then woke up, and am now going to be late. FML
Today, I went to school wearing the same jacket I had gone hiking in the previous day. When I found out that I had left my 2" pocket knife in the pocket I immediately turned it in to the front office. They promptly had me arrested for bringing a weapon on campus. FML
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
Today, I was at the park with a friend when I said, "Gotta go, sorry. I've got court in an hour." The lady on the bench next to us then loudly complained how disgusting I was for being a criminal and threw her bird seed at me, dirtying my suit. I'm a lawyer with a case in an hour, not a criminal. FML
Today, in court, I got a kid out of a prison sentence because I genuinely believed he was innocent. He and his mom were so happy, he even hugged me afterwards. It took me a minute to realise he'd pick-pocketed my keys and stole my car. FML
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Top comments
twinny_sc 13
You, sir, are a **** up.
jerome1995 4
Smooth.
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Comments (143)
mrahhhhh 21
Why the hell is it in your ******* shoe? Everyone knows that you should keep it clipped on the inside of your jeans, running parallel to your leg and right below your hip bone (the little bump that sticks out on your right side). Or just clipped in your pocket with the blade inside when you're in a public area that lets you have concealed knives. It's a lot faster to "draw" then from your shoe. I keep one for protection and as a tool.Pretty handy to have one, you never know when you might need one. Personally, I mostly use it to open stuff. Normal knives don't fold, and are just not sharp enough. And even then don't take a switchblade to a government building, or first declare you have a legally concealed weapon on your person so you can turn it in and get it back later. This is Texas so I assume it's legal to have a concealed switchblade because, you know, it's ******' Texas (you may get a free gun when opening a bank account!). If you don't bother to look up laws for carrying concealed weapons in your areas, you don't deserve to have one. I'm glad you got in trouble. ******* ignorant dumbass.
thrashdu2002 5
whoever you are, u rock. i chewed him out to for being a Tard.
A7X_LoVeee 10
Shit, tell us how you really feel.
claireelopezz 3
shouldnt of worn shoes
thrashdu2002 5
most of the shit on fml is fake anyways, so is this one. the one percwnt chance this is true, who the **** keeps a knife in there shoe?
wriptidez 0
im sorry ... next time leave it at home
Dark__Angel66 24
O_0 you didn't notice a knife in your shoe?
langer3416 0
U must be mexican
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Wow fail.
r6_fml 4
You know, as a guy who also carries a switchblade, I can safely say you deserve it lol. Cmon man, it'd not comfortable when you keep it in your shoe, you can't forget about it.
OMNOMN0M 0
May i ask why you even had a switchblade? let alone in your shoe. how do you forget that it's in there? seems a little uncomfortable.
kyliebear 15
You should've checked yourself all over then went in. As soon as you said that you went into court expecting to walk out a free man, I knew something bad was to happen.