Today, I went to court expecting to walk out a free man. Turns out my misdemeanor offense couldn't compare to the crime I committed when I walked into the court house with a switchblade tucked into my shoe. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was arrested for carrying a dangerous weapon. I was on my way home from the shop where I'd bought a new kitchen knife. FML
Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML
Today, I found out the off-duty cop who beat my face in front of a dozen witnesses was wasn’t even charged with assault. I have court in two weeks. FML
Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML
Today, I went to court because I got a traffic ticket for running a red light. While I was in court, I found out it was actually for a car I had sold years ago. FML
Today, I had to go to court to see whether my driver's license is suspended for an entire year. I woke up early, went to court, and everything went perfectly, with all the charges being dropped. Unfortunately, I then woke up, and am now going to be late. FML
Today, I went to school wearing the same jacket I had gone hiking in the previous day. When I found out that I had left my 2" pocket knife in the pocket I immediately turned it in to the front office. They promptly had me arrested for bringing a weapon on campus. FML
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
Today, I was at the park with a friend when I said, "Gotta go, sorry. I've got court in an hour." The lady on the bench next to us then loudly complained how disgusting I was for being a criminal and threw her bird seed at me, dirtying my suit. I'm a lawyer with a case in an hour, not a criminal. FML
Today, in court, I got a kid out of a prison sentence because I genuinely believed he was innocent. He and his mom were so happy, he even hugged me afterwards. It took me a minute to realise he'd pick-pocketed my keys and stole my car. FML
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Top comments
twinny_sc 13
You, sir, are a **** up.
jerome1995 4
Smooth.
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Comments (143)
imazaari 12
When my mom took me to traffic court when I was 17 she almost forgot that her vibrator was in her purse. We would have walked through the metal detector with it if she hadn't remembered. She probably wouldn't have gone to jail though lol.
KingreX32 21
wow just wow
conman531 23
Well aren't you a ******* genius
failcity 4
Quick question why do you have a switch blade in your shoe
celinadepp 21
You expected the judge and officers would pat you on the back and let you off Scott free? YDI.
labaro19 17
What part of you thought, hey you know what I should do? I should walk into a federal court with a knife in my shoe it's not like it's crawling with highly trained police officer
DaRito 25
Obvious FYL, the tough economic times put a knife in his shoe
qpdoll 19
Um. Why the ****?
Scorpion245 3
Way to screw up dumbass
whymeplease44 8
ydi 1.commiting crime in tje first place. 2.who walks into court with a switchblade anyway?