Today, I went to court expecting to walk out a free man. Turns out my misdemeanor offense couldn't compare to the crime I committed when I walked into the court house with a switchblade tucked into my shoe. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was arrested for carrying a dangerous weapon. I was on my way home from the shop where I'd bought a new kitchen knife. FML
Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML
Today, I found out the off-duty cop who beat my face in front of a dozen witnesses was wasn’t even charged with assault. I have court in two weeks. FML
Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML
Today, I went to court because I got a traffic ticket for running a red light. While I was in court, I found out it was actually for a car I had sold years ago. FML
Today, I had to go to court to see whether my driver's license is suspended for an entire year. I woke up early, went to court, and everything went perfectly, with all the charges being dropped. Unfortunately, I then woke up, and am now going to be late. FML
Today, I went to school wearing the same jacket I had gone hiking in the previous day. When I found out that I had left my 2" pocket knife in the pocket I immediately turned it in to the front office. They promptly had me arrested for bringing a weapon on campus. FML
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
Today, I was at the park with a friend when I said, "Gotta go, sorry. I've got court in an hour." The lady on the bench next to us then loudly complained how disgusting I was for being a criminal and threw her bird seed at me, dirtying my suit. I'm a lawyer with a case in an hour, not a criminal. FML
Today, in court, I got a kid out of a prison sentence because I genuinely believed he was innocent. He and his mom were so happy, he even hugged me afterwards. It took me a minute to realise he'd pick-pocketed my keys and stole my car. FML
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Top comments
twinny_sc 13
You, sir, are a **** up.
jerome1995 4
Smooth.
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Comments (143)
craigi 3
Two years in jail for carrying one here.
Ily_Lies12 1
Well your just stupid
BBYgirl_22 3
NO! YOU'RE JUST STOOOPID!
neonblue120 6
I'm guessing the metal detectors just happen to malfunction when you went right? If not then they don't arrest you just for having it they take it away. So FYL for having to make up an FML
TN9R 1
buy my new inention! soap on a rope
TN9R 1
invention*
jrowa3957 0
really a switchblade?! you been in prison before dumbass?
jaminjames 0
If you are in jail then how do you have Internet access. Hmmmmm can someone say fake FML
jaminjames 0
Well you don't exactly give a criminal access to a computer
tj4234 36
how can you be unaware of a switch blade in your shoe? Wouldn't you feel it?
smhlqnick 0
You already got in trouble for something and then you run around with knives in tour shoes. To quote Antione Dodson "you are so dumb. You are really dumb". Because you are.
BBYgirl_22 3
you are really dumb, for real.
GoPro2Oh 0
How are you on FML if you're in jail?
Sirin_fml 47
Where in the FML does it say he was or is in jail?
jose18 3
Ydi