Today, my brother is staying over for a while. I thought I was prepared for this, but I totally forgot that he is inexplicably prone to having random nosebleeds. He's going through my Kleenex faster than a horny teenage boy left alone in his room. Time to hoard Kleenex like how people hoarded toilet paper in 2020. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to my younger brother picking his nose with my fingers. His explanation? "You were sleeping." FML
Today, the "man cold" has infected my brother. He honestly thinks he's dying. He only has the sniffles. FML
Today, my brother thought it would be absolutely hilarious to replace my cold sore cream with superglue. FML
Today, I saw my 22-year-old boyfriend blow his nose into his hand, then wipe his snot on our couch. There was a box of tissues directly in front of him. FML
Today, I have to use toilet paper as a substitute for Kleenex, because I have a nasty cold and ran out. We're also snowed in where I live, so I currently can't go to the store to get some more. I think I now understand why people were hoarding this stuff. FML
Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML
Today, my older, pill-addicted brother, came over to visit with me. After he left, I realized all my Vicodin was gone. I got my wisdom teeth removed two hours ago. FML
Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML
Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch, listening to music. I guess my brother noticed that I was yawning a lot, because when I opened my mouth and yawned again, he dropped one of his rancid toenail clippings into my mouth, then broke into hysterical laughter at my freaking out. FML
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Top comments
Vesi 30
Costco (see if someone with a membership can give you a gift card) back corner, kleenex in a 6" square box, packs of 12.. we have to keep them all over our house for the same reason. Good luck! www.costco.com/kleenex-ultra-soft-facial-tissue%2c-3-ply%2c-85-count%2c-12-pack.product.11680104.html
Justkidding100 41
you can get surgery to correct this, they cauterize the blood vessels in your nose. It can also be a sign of cancer but I think you both probably would have noticed that by now though I would think.
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Comments (4)
Vesi 30
Costco (see if someone with a membership can give you a gift card) back corner, kleenex in a 6" square box, packs of 12.. we have to keep them all over our house for the same reason. Good luck! www.costco.com/kleenex-ultra-soft-facial-tissue%2c-3-ply%2c-85-count%2c-12-pack.product.11680104.html
Justkidding100 41
you can get surgery to correct this, they cauterize the blood vessels in your nose. It can also be a sign of cancer but I think you both probably would have noticed that by now though I would think.
d j mom 9
he really needs to get that checked out by a doc.
bazjack 26
Get a stack of cheap towels in a dark color. Blood washes out in cold water, and if they stain, it's not like he's using them in public.