Today, my friend told me to try dating apps, saying, “What's the worst that could happen?” I just finished paying some girl $100 to not send a dick pic to all my Facebook friends. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was texted out of the blue by a girl I treated to dinner last year. Since then, we'd chatted and met in passing a few times, but she'd turned down or cancelled all my other date invitations. Sadly, she wasn't trying to meet up. She wanted $500 to benefit a male friend, who was down on his luck. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me with a message that I had to pay $1 to see. FML
Today, I realized my habit of asking people for money came to an all time high when I asked a girl to Cash App me $5 through Instagram. She literally sent me A PENNY, said, “Quit fucking asking me for money fam” and then blocked me. FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to, "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML
Today, my friend said he'd give me 20 bucks if I would ask out the ugliest girl in school. I did it. She rejected me. FML
Today, I sent a girl a friendly conversation starter on Facebook. She replied, "I know what you guys are like. Oh, and that invitation to a date in about 5 messages time? Not a chance." FML
Today, I was hitting it off pretty well with a girl I met through a dating app. However, she's never going to speak to me again because I also happened to "match" with her friend. How was I supposed to know they knew each other? FML
Today, after being played like Playstation 5 by so many girls, I decided to give a chance to the girl who used to be my best friend and who I turned down. I went on Facebook to hit her up. First thing I see on my feed is her engagement photos. FML
Today, after 4 years of being single, I decided to go back to the dating scene. I downloaded Tinder. My matches run for the hills as soon as I show them a full body pic of myself. One guy even told me to delete the app from my phone, because if “guys wanted to go whaling, they’d go out to sea.” FML
Today, I went on two dates from a dating app. The first one said halfway through that we couldn't date because it would break his contract. The second one catfished me. This is why I have multiple dates in one day. They never end well. FML
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Top comments
Ghostrui 31
Don't send dick pics to strangers.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
So you meet a girl on a dating app, and the first thing you do is send her a dick pic? I just have to ask, are you that out of touch with social situations?
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Comments (58)
charliewhippet 9
Remember, dick pics should only ever be a reminder, not an introduction.
tapdancecolumbia 14
I'm curious, it says "a dick pic", not "my dick pic". So, could she be holding onto a random dick pic she snagged somewhere to use for this situation? Seems unlikely but the wording is curious. If that's not the case and I'm being too generous, hey, don't send nudes. Derp.
Paul ven 7
What was u thinking
Amanda Jaworski 23
Dang! I gotta join tinder or something! Dollar dollar bills y’all!
jsikes 8
Why does everyone assume he sent an unsolicited pic? How do you know she wasn’t asking him to, with the intent of holding it against him for money once he did send it?
auganator 4
rookie, ive had multiple chicks try to pull this on me (they asked for the dick pics). literally all you have to do is screenshot the message then have the cops give her a call to explain what extortion charges are.
SaintPanda 1
dude, just don't send dickpics, thats the obvious solution. honestly, i'm dissapointed