Today, I was approached by a girl who called me a slut for sleeping with her boyfriend, then punched me in the face. I'm a virgin. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, my best friend slapped me and called me a some colorful words before telling me that she never wanted to talk to me again because I supposedly slept with her boyfriend. Not only am I a virgin, but I'm a lesbian. FML
Today, as things were getting hot with my girlfriend, it came up that I'm a virgin. She broke up with me. FML
Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML
Today, some filthy creep grabbed my girlfriend's ass in front of me. I smashed his face in, as would be expected. Afterwards, we had wild sex, then she cried, told me how frightened my "unprovoked violent response" made her, and kicked me out. I'm now in a seedy motel, wondering what the hell happened. FML
Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML
Today, I got punched in the face by a girl for asking if she was okay after I had seen her crying. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, asked me over late at night. When I got there, she turned me around and kicked me out, because she "wasn’t feeling it." I’m 29 and still a virgin. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, my best friend called me a slut during an argument, and I couldn't stop myself from laughing. She lost her virginity at 13 years-old, and all four of her kids have a different dad. When I mentioned it, she gave me a black eye. FML
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Top comments
mleeb 0
I really hope you did more than just come home and write on FML about this.
AliSama 17
You need to file charges against her. Get medical attention as well.
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Comments (43)
james_thrtt 0
i agree with number 6 you should kick his nuts so far up his stomach that he chokes on them
Yunie_fml 0
**** = universal insult for girls, whether they're a virgin or not. Track down whoever spread the rumor and give them a swift kick to the groin.
CrazedLeper 0
Did you tell her that you were actually *asleep*?
cmaye18 0
HAHAHAHA this was honestly my favorite one so far..your so right .FUCKURLIFE hahahaha
BillFantastik 0
you're a virgin, fine, but that may also mean you gave her boyfriend a *******....another case of monica and bill
chronlogical 0
BAHAHAHAHHA you are a hero. i cant figure out how you managed to sleep with her boyfriend and keep your virginity...do u know what a virgin is????
mirg_akex 0
Yeah #4, in the court when she says she is a virgin, they can/are allowed to prove that.
couuurtneeey 0
you cant prove being a virgin your "cherry" which is the only test can "pop" from sports...
lilsharppiez 0
what i would do is go to the guy kick him as hard as u can in the balls so he can never have children and say i never slept with u, then look at the girl make sure she is around and turn to her and punch her in the face and say there bitch now u know i never slept with him!!!!! make sure its off school grounds and no one is around!!!
gabes 0
Maybe you should, you already got the punch might as well make it worth it :P jk. that blows.
love4all4 0
That sucks