Today, my girlfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, asked me over late at night. When I got there, she turned me around and kicked me out, because she "wasn’t feeling it." I’m 29 and still a virgin. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as things were getting hot with my girlfriend, it came up that I'm a virgin. She broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, I was approached by a girl who called me a slut for sleeping with her boyfriend, then punched me in the face. I'm a virgin. FML
Today, a girl I'd been talking to all night actually wanted to come home with me. Stopped to buy condoms. Got home, clothes came off, took out a condom. "Sorry, I'm allergic to latex". She left in a cab. I'm a 27-year old virgin for another night and now have a box of condoms to remind me. FML
Today, some filthy creep grabbed my girlfriend's ass in front of me. I smashed his face in, as would be expected. Afterwards, we had wild sex, then she cried, told me how frightened my "unprovoked violent response" made her, and kicked me out. I'm now in a seedy motel, wondering what the hell happened. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
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Top comments
tounces7 28
I'm just gonna say dump her because it sounds like she's intentionally being an asshole here.
alex_jaguara 33
Kind of a bitch move on her part making you come over in the middle of the night to break up. Life goes on. The virginity part seem irrelevant.
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Comments (5)
alex_jaguara 33
Kind of a bitch move on her part making you come over in the middle of the night to break up. Life goes on. The virginity part seem irrelevant.
tounces7 28
I think the virginity part mostly just adds to his overall FML, not that it was relevant to that specific circumstance.
alex_jaguara 33
You are right. If I was in his place, I would anticipate some intimacy when she asked him over.
rotflqtms_ 21
I didn't see the break up part, just the kicking him out because she didn't feel like having sex. Sucks that he went all the way there for nothing, but you're allowed to change your mind about wanting to have sex, even mid sex. At least she didn't wait until he was about to go into her to kick him out butt naked. That would have been horrible luck. °¤And now talking to op...¤° either way OP... can you really blame her for all 29 years of virginity? Was she the only girl you dated? And if so, I think you guys are on completely different pages on sex. And there are people who are older than OP who still also haven't had sex, by choice and not by choice.
tounces7 28
I'm just gonna say dump her because it sounds like she's intentionally being an asshole here.
RichardPencil 32
You've waited 29 years to lose your V-card, what's another few weeks or months? Besides a few more thousands of dollars in meals and gifts. Hope it's worth it.
red6joker 8
dude why are you dating her then. she's not worth it move on. stop simping
KingAdrock 16
Her saying no to sex is fine, her kicking you out is shitty.