Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
Today, after waiting to losing our virginity together, we finally did it, only for my boyfriend to claim he doesn't understand how people enjoy sex, since he found the waiting stressful, the sex awkward and undignified, the orgasm unimpressive and so sticky, he was desperate for a shower afterwards. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
lahp 0
thats what you get for dating 6 year olds....
ThatLooksSticky 16
Making out is kissing (each other's lips), and maybe "heavy petting" or "groping." Oral sex is using your mouth on another person's genitals, which usually aren't located on the face.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (218)
cathylee22 4
hmmm perhaps you should buy him sex for dummies
shinybluedollar 3
Don't they have sex ed in schools anymore? I mean, even if his parents didn't talk to him he's gotta have heard about it somewhere right? Something along the lines of "Boys, you must insert your penis into an orifice below the waist of another person in order to lose your virginity". In a magazine? In a movie? Somewhere???? Jesus....this is sad. For him. FHL
nerdsgetmehot 23
#102 Agreed! Wouldn't he have had sex ed at some point? Even if his parents hadn't told him, he most likely would have had sex ed at school.
freyjaspassion 0
I grew up in a very religious home, and I actually had to go to the library when the rest of the class had sex-Ed. My mother was determined to keep me as ignorant as possible. So maybe this boy comes from a religious home and this is all he knows right now? It is possible to stay ignorant in this day and age especially with crazy religious families.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#127 I can fully attest to the fact that some very religious families try to keep their kids "in the dark" about the subject of sex for as long as possible. I never got a sex talk and therefore I was pretty naive about the subject until a couple of years ago. My parents' point of view that is that one should wait until marriage to have sex (personally I don't share their views), so sadly they never saw the point in educating me about that stuff.
LadyAshley 0
Damn, how old are you two?! Like Seriously!
JokeMeister 0
Inexperience is a bitch
musefan99 0
dumb ass not until he he gives you a quaqmire
teacher411 0
Well you two must be pretty young or he must be really dumb
mes_fml 0
OP: Just to mess with him -- wait a couple days and tell him that because of your make out session you are now pregnant. Seriously though, I think your boyfriend needs to get some sex education, and probably shouldn't be "making out" until he has some basic understanding of sex. To everyone arguing on what is considered sex. Intercourse: (as defined by Merriam-Webster Dictionary) is physical sexual contact between individuals that involves the genitalia of at least one person, this includes oral, anal and sexual intercourse (heterosexual intercourse involving penetration of the ****** by the penis) . Or (as defined by medical dictionary) Sexual activity between 2 people–generally understood to be penovaginal or penoanal interaction. There is no medical definition for losing virginity, but it is generally accepted that losing virginity is the act of having (generally vaginal or anal) intercourse for the first time. While "making out" can be considered a sexual act (in that it usually creates sexual arousal in one or both participants), it is not sex as someone above suggested.
claiiire_fml 17
don't worry the person who suggested it is..... their elevator stops on the third floor, but their building is sixteen stories; if you know what i mean
einauglein 0
The results of abstinence-only sex education...
teejessika 13
Wow he must be really naive. That's so cute, I love virgins and their innocent ways hehe <3
Pagliaccio 1
Don't you return to being a virgin if you haven't had sex in awhile? Nah, just kidding. This whole FML made me dumber for having read it. FML.
pinkXrainbow 0
you sound like a *****.
Namenlos_fml 20
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! You're in for quite the intellectually stimulating relationship, aren't you?