Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML
Today, while having sex, I thought I was having an orgasm for the first time. Turns out I was just hyperventilating. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Immediately after we'd finished, he said, "Get off, you're making it hard to breathe on top of me." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML
Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
He was just so over-whelmed. I would take it as a compliment if I were you.
pjsr 33
Aww - they took his breath away!
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Comments (101)
JRT98 12
I can just imagine... "oh boy the breastibules... OMGZ NIPPLEZ!" *wheezing noises get louder and louder* "I CAN'T DO IT GET ME A PAPER BAG". Joking aside, be proud you have a breathtaking pair of bewbs.
Welshite 40
If a boyfriend says "OMGZ NIPPLEZ", it should be the last time he sees said nipples.
JRT98 12
Ah yes, but imagine the humor.
shay_serendipity 29
13, I cringed reading the terminology used...
purplebabytacos1 14
A man's breast friends!
rylaii 26
You have said that twice. Wasn't really funny the first time.
warsun 27
Are you referring to 14 or 16?
ylime23456 18
Poor guy he's probably really embarrassed
weeping_angel_ 13
Oddly enough I have the same reaction when opening a package of Oreos
TheCrispyCat 20
Dude same!
davincidasecond 24
Wow. I don't think I've ever felt so connected to two complete strangers until now. I'm the exact same.
teashock 5
Yes, that! And sticking a spoon into an unopened bottle of peanut butter. Ahh, it feels like heaven!
rosheno 4
"Spoon," huh?
FilbertMoo 11
That sucks, but hopefully you didn't make him feel badly about it when he came to; he's probably very embarrassed.
dawood_k 27
Wow you must be "breathtaking" to have accomplished that
amiralj 12
What a great story to tell about your first time lol
captainsmegma 12
Get a paper bag for him to breathe in. Then whip those puppies out very slowly. Have the paramedics on standby with the paddles energized for when you show him your woo woo.
cathrope 10
Woo Woo? What the heck is that?
abc_1_2_3 12
Are your boobs so big that you suffocated him with them? Poor guy..
KamiChan_fml 5
That'll probably happen to me too :/