Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized my boyfriend makes the same noises in bed as he does when he's winning in Call of Duty. FML
Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by bringing him some dinner. He made the same noise unwrapping the burger that he does when he sees me naked. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. FML
Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, after years in a relationship I realized that my partner does not like the music I listen to, the food I cook, the pictures I take, the way I dress. The only thing she likes is when I take her out to eat. FML
Today, I noticed that my girlfriend has a deeper voice than I do. FML
Today my girlfriend actually moved during sex. I love her, but she's so awful in bed. FML
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Top comments
iheartkanye 8
She wants the D... The chef boyardee.
Valdrek 26
It's good if she makes those noises during oral, means you are giving her something filing and satisfying
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Comments (78)
cuponoodles34 10
I make moaning noises when I play trombone due to rapid intake of breath and slow exhale.. Maybe she's just eating too fast either way your cooking is just that good :)
PhishloverA 14
Maybe you're a bad cook and bad lover, or vice versa. Maybe you're a very good cook and a very good lover
Phat_Santa 13
No one likes crumbs on the bed sheets.
Homer1975 14
Actually, you have a good girlfriend. improve your cook lately
DaisyPink 6
Eating is very pleasurable and so is sex. Same noises isn't a bad thing.
AaronGuy 12
Knowing lesbians, I'm pretty sure its not the 'good cook' option.
DelphiCat 17
From the sounds of it, if you want her to die of pleasure, combine the two. It should probably involve chocolate.
JefftheRipper 9
... The most sensual of all the salted meats.
MrsWojtowicz 16
I know how you feel. My husband moans more enthusiastically while he's eating donuts than when he's making love to me.
bigtime_rocker 11
Don't know wether to be hungry or horny?