Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized my boyfriend makes the same noises in bed as he does when he's winning in Call of Duty. FML
Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by bringing him some dinner. He made the same noise unwrapping the burger that he does when he sees me naked. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. FML
Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, after years in a relationship I realized that my partner does not like the music I listen to, the food I cook, the pictures I take, the way I dress. The only thing she likes is when I take her out to eat. FML
Today, I noticed that my girlfriend has a deeper voice than I do. FML
Today my girlfriend actually moved during sex. I love her, but she's so awful in bed. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
iheartkanye 8
She wants the D... The chef boyardee.
Valdrek 26
It's good if she makes those noises during oral, means you are giving her something filing and satisfying
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (78)
Valdrek 26
It's good if she makes those noises during oral, means you are giving her something filing and satisfying
His_Holiness 18
It's always best to start the day with something filling and satisfying. It reduces cravings throughout the day.
grapisy 8
I too, always start my day with a well balanced meal.
TheOnlyMizLiv 22
Special V, start your morning off right!
WHADDOW 5
His chicken is orgasmic.
DEATHBYEX1LE 11
87- What?
ColdplaySucks 18
Everyone makes moaning noises when eating bacon.
kj51 5
If you have to think about it you're probably bad at both
aka_Specs 7
Can you imagine what would happen if you introduced whipped cream?
killmoose 5
87- op is female
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Mmmm baby it's so good! God I love those fish tacos. Spoon me harder!
lolkaela 6
I don't think you can spoon someone harder...
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Sure you can. If you spoon hard enough eventually you'll morph into one person! Don't believe me? Back before I was born, a lion spooned a monkey-snake, then the lion-monkey-snake forked a parrot and the result was me!
ahippienamedrae 10
'fish tacos' lmao
DeLpHe3zY 7
thats akward. I dont think we needed the details
iheartkanye 8
She wants the D... The chef boyardee.
bossroyd 4
D as in candy
ElatedEarthling 15
But... OP is a woman. I doubt her girlfriend wants the D.
PenguinBitch 44
Then she wants the V!
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
V-enna sausages? Then again, she might not be a fan of sausage..
sheethapins 13
V -egetables.
Pleonasm 36
She wants the D, the Maitre D'.
TxCountryBeauty 10
Umm it doesn't say if OP's a man or woman the sign is down the middle meaning that OP didn't specify which gender it is. So OP's girlfriend could want the D or the V (My comment was to 24)
madskittlesftw 5
65, you are quite mistaken. OP is in fact a woman.
TxCountryBeauty 10
66 how do you figure?
TheMathMajor 26
Txcountrybeauty, the symbol with the circle and the cross at the bottom means woman, not that the gender is unspecified. The symbol in the other corner with both the male and female symbols represents sex, the category that this FML was posted in.
sonuskos 6
Studying to be a lawyer eh tx... I wish you luck.
SwtCherryPie 26
Well, I would thumbs up your post because it should be but I dont like your username.
SwtCherryPie 26
@ Tx - We know its a woman because it says it is "Anonymous (woman)"
txgirl2013 14
Every person just face palmed at your comment...
TxCountryBeauty 10
Ok I see that now... I always thought there was a red, blue and purple (red-girl, blue-boy, purple- not specified). Well thanks for showing me I had an idiotic moment:) it happens!
bigwiensch 15
i would love to her hear eating
andrew6p 19
You surely do know how to write a correct meaningful sentence, huh?
andrew6p 19
You surely do know how to write a correct meaningful sentence, huh?
Athleticism 11
#4-Go home, you're drunk.
braja3249 4
18- if you're talking about a correct sentence, you need a comma between correct and meaningful.
DEATHBYEX1LE 11
94- If you want to write a correct sentence, begin in with a capital letter.
WcED 8
You guys are trying way too hard
TheStormsFury 8
I read words in the wrong order all the time, but this one stood out way too easily.
bigwiensch 15
don't hate. I was high, not drunk haha
VooDooCarrie91 19
Maybe she's just enthusiastic.
perdix 31
Isn't she usually eating in bed?
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I think she prefers to eat out...
LetThereBeFMLs 10
Don't forget the extra cream that comes with that order!
happle 21
45- OP is a woman.
LetThereBeFMLs 10
57- yes I am aware of that but even women produce juices... Or have I used the wrong term?
LetThereBeFMLs 10
57- yes I am aware of that, but women produce bodily fluids too, do they not? I think I may have used the wrong word though. My apologies for the confusion...
MikeFoxtrot01594 11
I was thinking of whipped cream.
tj5810 21
The shake is what makes it.
Authoress14 15
lol FYL! Talk about confusing
howdeedoo 22
It's not all that confusing...
RedPillSucks 33
Or OP is a really great cook. or she's faking it.
poccocurantes 7
I just wonder if she belches during sex.
rockstar362 8
120-oh god
ballettillidie 8
Probably both...
lilhellian 27
Oh god yes! Oh god yes! So good! Honey can you cook again tomorrow night?:D
His_Holiness 18
It probably is embarrassing any time Op takes her out to a nice restaurant
Valiumknights44 12
Maybe you are really good at both?
buddy51 23
...or really bad. She may be shrieking in pain in either situation....
happle 21
Or she's completely silent.
pieman528 10
Or maybe she just really likes the way he prepares his sausages.
SillyGirl4602 23
90, This would make sense if op was a man.