Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized my boyfriend makes the same noises in bed as he does when he's winning in Call of Duty. FML
Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by bringing him some dinner. He made the same noise unwrapping the burger that he does when he sees me naked. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. FML
Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, after years in a relationship I realized that my partner does not like the music I listen to, the food I cook, the pictures I take, the way I dress. The only thing she likes is when I take her out to eat. FML
Today, I noticed that my girlfriend has a deeper voice than I do. FML
Today my girlfriend actually moved during sex. I love her, but she's so awful in bed. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
iheartkanye 8
She wants the D... The chef boyardee.
Valdrek 26
It's good if she makes those noises during oral, means you are giving her something filing and satisfying
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (78)
perdix 31
Go with the "good cook" option, until your girlfriend gets too fat or dumps you. If you think you are a lousy lover, you'll become one. It's called a self-fulfilling prophecy.
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
I've heard of that term before, it's like with the horoscope thing. If you believe you'll have a bad day, you'll subconsciously cause yourself to have one.
ICastillo 25
Just take the good with the bad here. Time to have some kinky food sex or foreplay.
GothickNihilist 15
OP should break out the chocolate body paint and whipped cream.
DjeePee 25
It's not because the noises are the same that you can relate one to another. Apparently I moan throughout the entire day, yet I doubt it has anything to do with my sexual pleasure at that moment.
hannaaaahr 33
If you moan throughout the day I think it might be a bit embarrassing to hang out with you...
DjeePee 25
Boaf, I don't think it's that bad. I don't notice it, family doesn't notice it, friends doesn't notice it... only my boyfriend does. He likes to point out every moan I make during not-sexual activities and thinking about it, they mostly happen in situations where I'm very relaxed. So if I'm were OP, I wouldn't worry to much.
mea_iloveskiing 26
Give her some nutella :)
pieman528 10
Normally I'd say yes, nutella is the solution to most of the worlds problems. But here, with this particular FML, it's impossible to tell in which way you're referring to the nutella. If you were referring to nutella during love, then I'd ask you, they made vanilla nutella?!?!?!
olpally 33
Uh, this is definitely ranking up there on my weird shit-o-meter of fml's. lol. WTF?
TheOnlyMizLiv 22
55 - With his 1,500 comments? I think not. Might want to get a mechanic on that scale though... *I realize you were being sarcastic, just saying!* :P
ICastillo 25
Awe I see it's FMLception. Mind blown.
olpally 33
I've been on here for two years actually. I've been busy working a lot lately. If I get a chance to comment I will. This comment, not my best. I'll admit that :)
capper44 18
Op quick ques!! If u r good cook then she should be making the noises of joy and so as in bed as well then.... Then how u r bad in sex!! 'Confused'
CaptainSaveAHoe 11
shhhhhh....I think it's trying to communicate.
SillyGirl4602 23
I am also confused. What are you trying to say?
Tthug 34
I believe the OP is gender confused.
DomDomxoxo 16
Have you not considered that OP might be a lesbian?
GayMatt 22
poor OP, lucky girlfriend it sounds like
1dvs_bstd 41
om nom nom nom
mistercrow 9
Well I ain't really experianced in either field of wonderful cooking or fantastic love making...but I'm assuming from reading your FML that you are obviously both a good cook and lover. So I'm stumped as to whether you deserve this or if your life sucks becuase I don't think I could choose either