Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML
Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML
Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML
Today, I was chopping veggies for dinner and accidentally sliced through my thumbnail and into my finger. I wrapped it and finished cooking, despite being in considerable pain. My husband patted my shoulder and said sympathetically, "Don’t worry about the dishes babe. You can just do them tomorrow.” FML
Today, I was rushing with the dishes when I scraped against a very sharp knife, which left a noticeable cut right down my wrist. No one believes my story that it was a freak kitchen accident, they think that I’m either an attention seeking fucknut, or crying out for help. FML
Today, I was emptying the cutlery section of the dishwasher when I reached down and accidentally got the tip of a steak knife wedged half-way under my fingernail. My mum yelled at me for getting blood on the clean dishes. FML
Today, I was in the shower washing my hair when my hand ran down the shower caddy and in particular, on my razor. If I wasn't woozy from all the blood splatter around the shower - seeing the bone that connects my finger definitely did it. FML
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Top comments
blaucha 0
what an asshole.
Komatose 0
You should've stabbed him/her and then said "You're right, these dishes do need cleaning."
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Comments (110)
Fml37 0
You should have stabbed your friend.
wow_fmylife 0
alright YDI for NOT noticing that the knife was sticking up! but fyl because your friend chose dishes over you. but that sucks, hope it didnt hurt TOO bad...
Cyborg6060 0
Think of it as another pocket on your forearm!
brendons 0
um your life is ****** but i call bullshit your bleeding all over the kitchen is not going to make your OCD friend happy who needed the dishes done
brendons 0
um your life is ****** but i call bullshit your bleeding all over the kitchen is not going to make your OCD friend happy who needed the dishes done
kingsley_fml 8
#10 is friggin brilliant. Take care dude, there's a lot of rogue knives out there. >_>
tweety09 0
BITCH!!!!!
liquidpaper 0
Screw the people who say YDI for not noticing the knife sticking up. Accidents happen, that's why you don't leave knives sticking up! (Unless you were the one who left the knife that way, in which case let that be a lesson to you)
mehwhateverr 0
1. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I cringed just thinking about how much it would hurt. 2. Please find new friends. You help them wash dishes in their house (which you did NOT have to do), you end up getting hurt and they care more about plates than you? You don't deserve that.
Nakedsquirrel 5
...since when does someone need tongs to dry dishes? Are you afraid of water?