Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML
Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML
Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML
Today, I was chopping veggies for dinner and accidentally sliced through my thumbnail and into my finger. I wrapped it and finished cooking, despite being in considerable pain. My husband patted my shoulder and said sympathetically, "Don’t worry about the dishes babe. You can just do them tomorrow.” FML
Today, I was rushing with the dishes when I scraped against a very sharp knife, which left a noticeable cut right down my wrist. No one believes my story that it was a freak kitchen accident, they think that I’m either an attention seeking fucknut, or crying out for help. FML
Today, I was emptying the cutlery section of the dishwasher when I reached down and accidentally got the tip of a steak knife wedged half-way under my fingernail. My mum yelled at me for getting blood on the clean dishes. FML
Today, I was in the shower washing my hair when my hand ran down the shower caddy and in particular, on my razor. If I wasn't woozy from all the blood splatter around the shower - seeing the bone that connects my finger definitely did it. FML
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Top comments
blaucha 0
what an asshole.
Komatose 0
You should've stabbed him/her and then said "You're right, these dishes do need cleaning."
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Comments (110)
happygoluckyhh 0
She's a major asshole. Screw her! I would be screaming so ******* loud at her until she took me! I would be like, "GOD DAMNIT! TAKE ME TO THE ******* HOSPITAL OR I WILL BREAK THOSE DISHES THAT ARE SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME!" LOL...something like that?!?
arieanacrust 0
Have you not ever been cut by a knife before? it's not an emergency. Just put a ******* band-aid on it you pussy
Anteezy 7
A cut is no emergency no, but if you read the fml, which I'm sure you tried, it clearly states that the OP was impaled by a knife which is much worse. Seeing as it was his forearm it could lead to serious blood loss and it can therefore be an emergency.
av232 0
#(%@#$! what kind of people are you hanging with? i hope you weren't waiting on her.
CountDuk 5
She was in no fit condition to drive tho. I feel bad for you, your friend sucks scrotums!
Autoshot 9
Caution Fail.
rozieslothinator 0
how do u dry dishes with tongs
Mynameislinh 24
The guy was reaching for the tongs, to dry it.
LilAngel606 5
what an ass!
liaRawr 9
Now thats true friendship ;)
okay33 12
"Oh look at that I've been impaled"
ullsmith 11
Dishes before stitches