Today, I was fired from my job over a coupon a coworker offered me for bonus reward points. Apparently, it wasn't one I was entitled to. I never even looked at the coupon and assumed it was fine since they offered it to me. FML
Today, I was at my job where we buy precious metals. A man came in and said, "Here, I have something special for you." He then pulled a tooth out of his mouth that had dental gold on it and placed in it my bare hand. Yeah, special indeed. FML
Today, my boss called me into his office. I've been working hard doing extra work so I can get promoted. He called me in to tell me I'm to reliable in my current position, so I won't be moving up. FML
Today, I failed my nursing clinical for, "being too nice". FML
Today, marks a whole month that my boss has asked me to come in early to my part-time job, which makes me pretty happy to get the extra hours. I casually made a joke that she might as well make me full-time now. That made her change her mind, now I'm back down to 23 hours a week. FML
Today, while working at a retail, I was checking on a customer who had been in one of the dressing rooms for over an hour. After knocking for 10 minutes, I unlocked the door myself, only to find the customer sitting on the floor, smoking crack. This isn't even the first time this has happened. FML
Today, at work, I had to help a teenager who was stuck in a toy car for kids, and no, it was not in one piece when she finally got out. FML
Today, I got an e-mail from a company saying that I would not be a good fit for them. Strangely, it's quite similar to an e-mail they sent me last month. And the month before. They aren't generated e-mails, each one is different. They just e-mail me every month to remind me that I suck. FML
Today, my co-workers were laughing at me because I couldn't throw paper into the bin, regardless of how close I was. Annoyed, I tried to prove then wrong by angry throwing paper into the bin that was no less that 1 cm away from me. I missed. FML
Today, I used Siri to text my VP asking for a good time to talk. Siri helpfully changed the text to ask for a "good time to talk my dick" and sent it before I could change it. FML
Today, I started work at catering company. I was aware that I'd be cleaning dishes, but they forgot to warn me how many. Needless to say, after polishing 527 glasses, my hands hurt. FML
Today, I went to a job interview. I never applied for the job, they'd sought me out, had a phone interview, and sent samples, all before the face-to-face interview. Turns out none of the people I met with had even read my resume or writing samples. I was told I might not be a good fit. FML
Today, I gave a coworker a lift to the next town over town catch a train. When I picked him up, he was wasted, and halfway there he asked me to pull over so he could puke. He managed not to blow chunks, but crapped his pants in the process. He left a stain. FML
Dr.Pickles tells us more.
OP here, i did finally get the stain removed!! I think I went through 7 layers of shock when this all happened , but I couldn't kick him out of the truck. He was on his way to his mom's funeral. Thankfully I will leave that job before he returns from his travels. No awkward moments here, and I'll definitely be avoiding his calls. It definitely made me question doing so much for others but I'd do it again.
Today, I was fired, all because I asked my manager for help on the line when we were short staffed and he was on his butt in the office. He said it wasn't his job to help us. Apparently, asking your manager for help when you're busy gets you fired. FML
Today, at work, I have discovered the wonderful feeling of having a paper cut, with metal, under your nail, on all your nails. FML
Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML
Today, I'm a youth worker. I drove 7 hours to visit a teenage girl I have been working with, and who recently moved. Due to roadworks, it took me 2 hours longer than expected. When I arrived, she told me to fuck off and closed the door in my face. FML
Today, my wife is threatening divorce because I won't hire her son, my stepson, at the company I work at. Even the lowest position at my company requires a degree in computing, and prior experience. My stepson dropped out of high school to "discover himself" 12 years ago. FML
Today, during my company's liquidation sale, I had not one, but three customers tell me to go back to Auschwitz. FML
pinkpanther61789 tells us more.
Damn, I didn't expect this to get posted at all. For starters, I am half Jewish and look like a version of Anne Frank with frizzier hair and a broken nose. As for the whole situation, with a liquidation sale, there are absolutely no returns or exchanges of any kind at the location I work at. The "customers" I was serving were a foul mouthed, belligerent couple who are the kinds of people that make you hate people. They had at least $500 worth of returns that we could not process and despite myself, my department manager, and the store manager explaining that they could not return items at this location because of the liquidation status, they still remained belligerent and hell bent on not driving a half hour to the nearest alternate location, and after I politely apologized and explained that they could go to the next available location which would promptly give them a refund, the **** of a wife spat "well you can just promptly go back to Auchwitz" and then the dick of a husband joined in and repeated the aforementioned statement, which then prompted an old man at the register next to mine to chime in with his antisemitic comments. This resulted with mall security being called and having to escort the belligerent couple and the old man off the premises.
Today, I was fired for the first time in my life from a job that I actually loved and was passionate about. Apparently, none of my coworkers liked me and they thought that was a good enough reason to fire me. FML
LikeLegitness tells us more.
Hey guys this is the OP here. I just wanted to give a little more background and clear some stuff up. So I didn't have the job for very long but it was something that I've been wanting to do for a long time which is working with animals. During my short period of time there I barely talked to my co-workers because there was just too much work to do and not enough time to do it. But when I did have some time to spare I would casually talk to them. I could tell they didn't love me but I thought it was just because I was new but they didn't seem to hate me either because they were nice enough to my face. My manager just told me people were making comments about me and how I worked and I wished that they came to me instead of just getting rid of me. I was a bit shocked to say the least and was very upset but it is what it is and I'm moving on. Thanks for reading and for posting my first FML.
Today, at work, I was tasked with cleaning up a small AC flood. I saw that water was still dripping from the overhead AC as it was frozen over, so I asked the resident for a bowl to catch the water after I'm done extracting the water from the carpet. She handed me a colander. FML
Tarlachia tells us more.
Tarlachia 33
Yay! My second published FML! Anyway, I'm not entirely sure if the woman was running on all cylinders. Nevertheless, it's worthy of a good laugh, enough to the point of straining my sides from laughing so hard. It made my day. Love the puns, y'all. Don't let 'em fall through the holes of life!
Today, while working as a line cook, one of the servers sincerely asked me, "What sauce goes on a chicken bacon ranch sandwich?" I replied, a little incredulously I'll admit, "…Ranch." She then totally lost her cool and went full-blown adult temper tantrum because I was, "mean to her." FML
Today, my boss asked me to pick up more waitressing shifts because we are short-staffed. I already work seven days a week. FML
Today, at work, my manager thought I needed to be showed how to use Windex. FML
Today, a man came into the library where I work with a bag. He told me the bag was full of bugs he found in and around his toilet, and demanded that I help identify them. He then added, "They might be parasites. They're all over the bathroom, but I got the toilet ones here." FML
coffeecoffeecoffee tells us more.
Hi! OP here! These comments are really making me laugh! Thank you! I told the man he couldn't have the bugs in the building, which resulted in him yelling at me saying I was "no help". He didn't want a real "bug professional" to look at them, because it would cost too much money. I ended up getting my manager, who (thankfully) made the man (and his "pets") leave the building. You could say I was bugging out over the whole thing. Ugh.
Today, my boss held a meeting to talk about how we can't overlook others and no one should pick favorites. I walked out unemployed when I pointed out that she completely ignored the person who made the biggest sale in company history and constantly gave her son raises for mediocre work. FML
Today, at my first day of work at a new job, I got stuck in the elevator going to the parking garage. I have claustrophobia about both elevators and parking garages. They said this never happens. FML
Today, a customer came to my shop and asked our shop assistant if we had Smart TVs. She replied, "No we only have LG and Samsung." FML
Today, just like when I interviewed for the job, I know nothing about graphic design and I'm not interested in sales. I've just found out that my "project management" job I was hired for now has the job title "Graphic Sales." They changed it after I started 3 days ago. FML
PhoenixChick tells us more.
PhoenixChick 26
OP here- the hilarious thing about them changing the job is that the new "Graphic Sales" job involved being the customer service desk for any customer having problems with their graphics files. There are two full time graphic designers, but they decided the gal who was hired to "make sure production is kept on track" is the one who should answer every single question regarding graphics and deisgn for all current and potential customers. To make things more fun, today I found out that the former owner of the company (and the current owner's dad) has serious age-related memory problems and forgets that he isn't stll the boss. He will show up and start yelling at you and telling you what to do and demanding things. Employees are told to placate him, and try to distraxt him as quickly as possible. But don't do anything to hurt his feelings.
Today, I had what I thought would be an important (and formal) interview. Not only did I turn up completely overdressed, the man who was interviewing me arrived 30 minutes late. To top it all off, I was so distracted by his mysterious total lack of eyebrows that I forgot everything I had to say. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
