Today, I had to abandon my normal duties and help out the electrician my boss called, all because my boss couldn't handle speaking to him since he was attractive. She's in her fifties. I'm in my twenties and I'm the more mature one. FML
C8H18 tells us more.
C8H18 33
The full immaturity: So the manager and supervisors, (all of which are middleaged females) were at the front of the building with me. Electrician arrives and I let him in the building. By the time I turn around, all the ladies are at the opposite side of the building. I don't think much of that at the time because I know a lot of people aren't comfortable working around wiring. So I help the guy out for the day. Once he left all the ladies suddenly appeared again; giggling and acting like little school girls. My manager started bombarding me with questions like, "What's his name?! He's so handsome! Is he married? When's he coming back? Will you warn me before he does?" I was quite shocked at the behavior honestly. He did return and I caught manager and supervisors spying around corners as we worked. He needed the managers signature for the work he'd done when he was finished. She refused to approach him because she was blushing too much. I had to bring her the paper in the back room before she'd sign it.
Today, I had severe constipation. I went to get some more laxatives when I felt something fall onto the top of my head. I reached up to see what it was and it turned out to be quite a large spider. Guess who isn't constipated anymore. FML
Today, all of my friends bailed from the birthday party I was throwing myself. This was also after they had encouraged me for months to have one, knowing I'd never had my birthday celebrated before. FML
Today, I bought an iPhone SE, so my mom decided to sell my old iPhone 5 on Craigslist. Since the 5 and SE look exactly the same, she ended up selling my SE instead of the 5 for $100. The buyer refuses to give it back. FML
Today, a customer made a huge scene at work because all of our reading glasses are made in China, and apparently any "moral" person should be repulsed by that. FML
Today, I was told I'll need a hysterectomy. I'm barely 22. My doctor said "You probably wanted kids, huh? That's gonna be rough!" FML
Today, I was flirting with a really cute girl and we ran out of things to say, I got so nervous with the silence that I asked her if she had hiccuped lately. FML
ScarletSpirit tells us more.
Hi there, OP here. We talk frequently on social media now and we still flirt a lot, now "have you hiccuped lately?" is our opening question to each other :)
Today, I pronounced FAQ as 'fuck' to my boss. I'm not a native speaker. FML
Today, I was, once again, yelled at by multiple tourists because I don't speak their language, even though they could neither speak English or Norwegian. They also yelled at me for not accepting Euros. Norway is not a part of the European Union. FML
hemiol tells us more.
hemiol 30
Because I do understand some of the languages of the tourists who usually come through. I usually get by with a couple of words here and there, some Norwegian and English, but some tourists just don't bother to even try. Usually it's fine, and everybody's happy, but every day I meet at least one asshat who turns to yelling in stead of being a bit patient.
Today, I have a huge crush on my best friend who views me as his little sister. My coworker found out and has since been making incest jokes. FML
millie_marie tells us more.
OP here! I felt like I should probably clear a few things up. He's been my best friend since we met first semester of college, and we tell each other everything. Our relationship has ALWAYS been brother/sister, but we went to a late showing of Suicide Squad over the weekend and he slept at my house since it was almost one in the morning when the movie ended. And we both cuddle with the person in bed with us, and I realized I must have been catching feelings for a while because I really wanted more than that. He's interested in someone else (again, we tell each other everything), so I know nothing's going to come of that. As for my coworker, someone said to let him know what he's doing is harassment, but he and I joke with each other all the time. We work at a place where if we all don't joke around and make fun of each other, we'd go crazy trying to stay sane. He is an ass, but he'll stop eventually. It's just that it stings a bit now because he wasted no time when in the past he's waited until I'm out of my bad mood about the situation. Thanks for the support and jokes, guys. It made me feel a bit better (:
Today, my uncle asked me to act as a bodyguard in a video he was making. I put on the shades and suit while he was saying his message to the camera. I was laughing so hard internally that I ended up farting so loud throughout the entire video. We had to shoot the video five times. FML
Today, I had a first date. We really hit it off and wound up watching movies together and talking late into the night. I ignored a developing migraine all night, then tried to leave hurriedly when it got bad. He stalled me leaving by asking what's wrong. I started vomiting. FML
Today, I logged on to my Gmail account and to find that my brother had sent my math teacher a picture of Bigfoot peeing into a urinal. Using my account. FML
Today, I stood up at my desk and fell. I landed on the arm of my desk chair. There was a loud crack when the plastic in the chair broke. My co-workers heard. They didn't come to check on me because I didn't scream. FML
Today, I discovered that my freezer had died when I saw the contents oozing out the bottom. The now-full trash can won't be picked up for another 6 days, and the high temperatures are supposed to be in the 100s all week. FML
Today, I went to collect my clothes out of the dryer. Thinking it would be fun for my small dog, I brought her with me. I put her down and let her sniff around while I put my clean clothes in a basket. I turned around from putting more clothes in the dyer to catch her peeing in my clean clothes. FML
Today, after calling my bank to see where my paycheck was, and waiting on hold for my entire lunch break, my boss told me she forgot to submit my deposit. I was relying on that money to pay for lunch today as I used all I had for bills. Looks like I eat tomorrow. FML
Today, I'm so broke, I resorted to breaking into my old apartment complex to do my laundry in the basement for free. FML
Today, my grandfather gave me a whole box of records to go with my new record player. When I thanked him, he said he'd been needing to get rid of them anyway because classical music makes him horny. I definitely didn't need to know that. FML
Today, after weeks of flirting with the hot guy at the gym, he finally asked me to meet up with him outside. I was diagnosed with strep throat just hours before our date. FML
Today, my boyfriend was truly upset because I refused to pee on him. FML
wondermoose tells us more.
wondermoose 28
Hello, OP here. My boyfriend and I are very open and communicate about what we want to try and what we don't want to try. We've been together three years and pretty much will try anything as long as we are both comfortable. We were in the shower during this conversation and it started as a joke for me to pee on him and I told him I didn't want to but I think he was offended because he thought I was feeling self conscious in front of him so he felt like he wasn't doing his 'boyfriend duty' by making me feel okay with that... I know sounds strange. But we're over it and he actually doesn't want me to pee on him at all. Go figure. Thanks for the jokes and advice to you all!
Today, I thought I'd save some money by doing my own electrical work. When I turned the power back on, it caught fire. FML
chewsef tells us more.
chewsef 17
OP here....I'm getting hammered on this one as I expected. Waiting on a electrician as we speak.
Today, my mom said, "I'm sorry your life is such shit." She meant it as an apology. FML
Today, I went to my first job interview. I didn't think I was doing too badly, until the interviewer said, "Wait a second, you're in high school?" I explained that the guy who'd called me had said that this wouldn't be a problem. I then watched as my interviewer left his desk to "deal" with him. FML
Today, while at the public swimming pool, I gave my 2-year-old daughter a piggy back ride in the pool. We were having fun until I realized she had untied my swim top. FML
Today, after not moving at work all day, I decided to be healthy and walk home. Now my thighs are numb from rubbing together. FML
Today, a woman threatened to stab my eyes out because I wouldn't let her into the shop I closed and locked up half an hour ago. FML
Today, I left my phone at work. After returning to the office to retrieve it, I noticed it was not on my desk as it usually is. I went to the front office and found it on the desk, unattended. When turning on my phone, I was greeted by my new lockscreen: a crap someone took in the bathroom. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach ache and had some pretty bad gas at work. I tried to head down to the basement for a while to allow my coworkers to continue in peace. About an hour after I came back up, my boss called pest control due to the horrible smell that "must be dead rats". FML
Today, I found out that my new roommate likes to put candy on the floor, let ants crawl all over it, and eats it. Ants and all. FML
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