Today, due to a scheduling error, I spent an entire day and night in an airport, over 30 hours in total. Just as I arrived at the gate, I was informed that my flight had been delayed for another 2 hours. FML
Today, I had to visit a new office building for a meeting. Halfway through the meeting, I got really nauseous and needed to throw up. I ran to find a bathroom, but got lost and ended up in a printing room. With no other option, I was forced to puke into a large envelope. FML
Today, I told my parents that I was going on a diet to lose weight and I wanted their support. They brought home donuts and pizza for dinner. FML
Today, my father came downstairs, wearing my mother's dressing gown. It didn't fit. FML
ApplePie1994 tells us more.
ApplePie1994 27
OP, here. It was his stomach that didn't fit, you nasty. The dressing gown was pink, with butterflies embroidered on the breast. He looked absolutely fabulous, darlings.
Today, my boss refused my resignation and acted like nothing had happened. FML
Today, I received an almost $400 bill for Internet services I don't even have. When I called and talk to them they told me I still owe them $77 because I didn't catch it within 3 months. FML
Today, my mom figured that the best time to announce that I'm adopted was during her speech at my wedding. FML
DidNotExpectThat tells us more.
OP here. My wedding was 3 weeks ago. Thanks for your kind comments, but no my mom wasn't drunk (she never drinks). I had a long conversation with her and my dad. Turns out she couldn't keep it to herself any longer. I'm no longer mad at her since she told me the whole story. Both my parents always told me a lot about their deceased best friend whom I'm named after. I'm actually that friend's daughter and my family took me in when both my biological parents died in a car accident when I was 3 months old. In a way, I know my biological parents through the memories of my adoptive parents. I've never suspected a thing since I have two little brothers and I kind of look like my mom. Telling me and everyone I love at my wedding was a way for her to honor her dear friend and 'share' that special moment in my life with her.
Today, I decided to give my boyfriend one last chance at fixing our failing relationship. Instead of talking about how to fix our dying relationship, he decided to game all day and ignore me. FML
Today, my best friend and I got in a fight, and we have a 3 hour drive back home together. FML
Today, I sent my grandfather a picture of me because he hasn't seen me in years. I guess I should wear makeup next time, because he sent back a heavily photoshopped and cropped version and told me how beautiful I look. FML
Today, I woke up in the hospital after my sister saved me from "hanging" myself. In reality, my sister choked me because I ate her last chicken nugget. FML
Today, after a very harsh argument from my mother about her not seeing her grandchild enough, I decided to vent out my rage in a text to my friend. It wasn't until after I sent the message, that yes, I sent that message to my mom FML
Today, I was staying over at a friend's house for the weekend while the rest of my family goes to Cuba. Her neighbor started hitting on me. As it turns out, "he" was actually born as a "she", and now I'm apparently a transphobic bitch for not being interested. Two more days to go. FML
Today, it's so insanely hot that no matter how often I shower or use deodorant the smell of my armpits makes me feel physically sick. FML
Today, I have a Bachelors of Science at a top university and got denied by Chipotle for a part-time job. FML
ladams94 tells us more.
ladams94 12
It wasn't a science degree... Just called a Bachelors of Science. I have food cooking experience as well as customer service experience but thanks for your input. Bye.
Today, my elderly coworker was telling me about a long-lost friend, so I helped her use the Internet to look the friend up. We found her. Specifically, her obituary. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband had a vasectomy several years ago. I've been faithful the whole time, but he wouldn't believe me, even after I showed him that vasectomies can reverse themselves. FML
Today, I'm pretty sure my sister is being catfished. Now I have the choice of either telling her and risking her staying with her abusive husband or letting her think her new "boyfriend" is a good guy who didn't just "accidentally" send me a shower picture. FML
mbbcjuliet tells us more.
This is my post. I didn't have enough characters to fully explain. My sister is married to a verbally abusive guy who she has been trying to leave for a while but hasn't had the courage. They have 3 kids together. She met this guy on line and started talking to him as friends which developed into more. I don't agree with her cheating but that is a lesser point for me. I've tried to do some research on this guy and keep finding lies in what he is telling my sister. That is why I think he is catfishing her, not because of the picture. I have his number because she asked me to text him to say her phone had broken and she was getting a new one. He started flirting with me almost immediately, which is how I "accidentally" got a picture of him just out off the shower. I'm trying to help her move out on her own but I don't like her thinking this is a good guy. Thus my dilema.
Today, my roommate is being evicted. Since we had some very good memories together, I was sad to come home and see all of her stuff gone...and half of my stuff, too. FML
Today, after a long day at work, I walked into my room with the lights off and jumped on my bed. At least I would've if I haven't rearranged my room and instead face-planted onto my desk. FML
Today, at the store, I didn't hear the cashier when she asked if I had a loyalty card. She took one look at my naturally bitchy-looking face and muttered "It's my JOB to ask, jeez." FML
Today, I finally finished a gruelling shift at the hospital. I hadn't slept in over 30 hours, so I was happy to get out. I was quickly rushed back in after I collapsed in the parking lot and cracked my head open. FML
Today, I found a "White Power" bumper sticker on the back of my car. I don't know what idiot thought it'd be funny to put it there, but now my neighbors think I'm a proud racist. FML
Today, a customer tried to return some pricey lingerie. She said she didn't have the packaging, but had never worn them. The skidmark I accidentally touched begged to differ. FML
Today, after finally growing my curly hair down to shoulder length, I decided to get it styled for a dinner date. The stylist rolled up the barrel brush on my head and it got stuck. Hello, pixie cut. FML
Today, I got a call from a job I had applied for. Everything went great until I realized I had applied to the wrong location, across town. I'm so broke, I went to the interview anyway. It will cost me more to pay for the gas to drive there to work, than what I will actually make. FML
Today, I put some leggings on and I was feeling pretty good about how well they fit since I've been trying to slim down. Then I noticed the tag. Not only are they a size larger than I usually wear, but I also stretched them so badly that "Spandex" is now two words. FML
AnotherLilyBart tells us more.
OP here. To clarify, I'm actually not an unhealthy or excessive weight but I'm trying to get back to a size where I feel better about myself. Also, I thought I had bought the leggings in my size but the packet was mislabeled. To the other points, I do wear underwear and when I wear leggings, I pair them with a skirt or tunic so that no one is forced to appreciate my bounteous behind.
Today, I finally got my fussy newborn back to sleep after the creaking of my chair woke her. I then crept two rooms over and opened a pack of chips, the crinkle of which woke her again. FML
Today, I bought my mother an expensive TV she had been looking at. After I bought it, she continued browsing for more stuff. I told her I couldn't afford the extra items. She got mad and called me "selfish". FML
Today, after giving a potential employee a drug test and instructing her to leave her urine sample in the bathroom, she not only brought it into the office, she spilled it on the front desk. FML
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