Today, I finally beat the song "Through the Fire and Flames" on Guitar Hero 3. I then realized that it was the biggest accomplishment I've ever made in my entire life. FML
Today, I had a really bad day at work and the only thing that was getting me through the day was the idea of taking a nice, hot, relaxing bath. When I got to my front door there was a shut off notice from the gas company. I won't be taking any hot baths until I come up with the $500 bill. FML
director416 tells us more.
The gas bill includes another security deposit of 150$ and a turn on fee of 50$. So, it was 300$ that I was past due on and I was doing the budget plan which was about 150$ a month. Only 2 months behind. As for the roommate, it's not her fault she lost her job due to down sizing and she is has been getting money from her parents... we've just used it for food. It's not a matter of whether or not I "deserve" to have my gas shut off. I do. I didn't pay the bill. I agree with that. The FML part of it is that my day was crap and then it got even crappier. Stop preaching and just read the stupid FML so you can say "Hey, at least I'm not that poor bastard." Get over yourselves.
Today, I woke up after a night of partying and went to the bathroom. That’s when I realized that after passing out with my shoes on last night, my friends decided use a black sharpie and play “connect the dots” with my acne. FML
Today, I was going through my mom's closet. On one of the shelves, I found two baby books. One was mine, the other was one for a dog she owned before I was born. I looked through them both. The dog's baby book was filled out more than mine was. FML
Today, I decided to shave my legs completely to be more confident in my dress. I spent over an hour making sure my legs were perfectly shaved. It wasn't until I had been out awhile that I realized I forgot to shave my armpits. FML
Today, I let my 5 year-old niece walk my 3 month-old husky puppy while I watched. I didn't realize how strong my puppy actually is until she took off running while dragging my niece with her. My niece now has two busted up knees and chin and her mother is now calling my puppy "demon puppy." FML
demonpuppy tells us more.
Hey you guys, the OP here! I just wanted to clear some things up. My puppy is very sweet. She has never pulled anyone else while on the leash. She's actually one of the most timid dogs I've ever owned and yes, I have owned dogs before and I know the breed. But because she is a puppy anomaly and doesn't pull, I thought it would be ok for my niece to walk her as I walked next to them. Also, this took place in my fenced off back yard. I do however have a stone terrace, which is where my niece got pulled over on. I know that my niece getting hurt is probably my fault and I've now learned that my puppy goes crazy when there are squirrels in sight. I've apologized to my sister-in-law. My niece is fine, she was back up and playing within minutes, but her mother wont let her near my puppy and I got a talking to. So, hope that clears some things up for you guys.
Today, a parent came into my class and told one of my 6 year-old students that their grandma died. Then the parent left. The kid started crying from the news, which then got all the other students crying. I spent the rest of the day comforting a class of kids crying over someone else's grandma. FML
Today, I graduated from college and my parents gave me an apple. Not the computer, the fruit. FML
Today, my cell phone rang while I was still asleep. I picked it up, half asleep, only to find it was a wrong number from some guy. Three minutes later I receive a text message saying "Hey, you sound cute..." from the same number. I looked to see if he was local. I'm that desperate. FML
paprgrl421 tells us more.
He was local, no I didn't respond. I live in a less densely populated area (i.e. small town) so it's very easy to see where he was from. I can even pinpoint his cellular carrier by his area code+***. That's how few places offer cell service in wisconsin
Today, we were running late for school so my mum shouted at me to hurry up and get in the car. I put my school bags in the boot of the car and my mum drove off. It wasn't until she got to my school and told me to get out that she realised I wasn't there. FML
Today, I was cleaning my apartment because I'm moving. I was being really thorough so I could get as much of the damage deposit back as possible. I noticed I still had one of those 3M plastic hooks on the wall, and when I went to carefully take it off, a large chunk of the wall came with it. FML
Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML
Today, while teaching English in Korea, my boss gave me a birthday present from her and all of my co-workers. It was a really fancy box. It had very nice wrapping. It had a pretty bow. It was kind of heavy. It was 6 bottles of dandruff shampoo. FML
Today, I rode my bike to the store because I only had a few things to pick up. When I walked back out after five minutes, my bike was stolen. I had gone to the store to buy a new bike lock. FML
Today, I learned that I have carpal tunnel syndrome. I got it from playing too much World of Warcraft. I got a disease in real life by living in a virtual world. FML
Today, I flew home from college to see my parents. Later I found the expensive painting and hand-made necklace I mailed to my mom for mother's day while taking out the trash. FML
Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML
Today, my boss in my police department told me to start enforcing the "No bikes on sidewalks" law, which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with Down's syndrome, who was so upset he cried and peed. FML
Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML
Today, my boyfriend was continuously telling me how great my best friend smelled the other night and how I should wear some perfume that smelled like that. I have the same exact perfume and have been wearing it for months. FML
Today, I was in line for Star Trek and chatting with another couple about a guy who came to the movie wearing a Starfleet uniform. We were having a good snicker about this "Geek" until my cell phone rang. My ringtone is the sound made by the Star Trek communicator. FML
Today, I gave a big presentation at work. The manager decided to video tape it. I went through my presentation with ease and was confident I did a good job. My confidence was then lowered after watching the tape. Apparently, my boobs are much more interesting than what I had to say. FML
Today, I woke up at 4:30am because I forgot to turn my Blackberry off 'loud'. I woke up to find an email from my ex-boyfriend's crazy mother who had sent me pictures of her son's wedding that had happened over the weekend. I am still single. FML
Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML
JRech tells us more.
OP here. It's a FML to me because, I'm not ashamed of being a gamer, I feel that it's just a pretty dorky situation. I totally was caught off guard when the site gave this entry the green light. I just thought it would be funny to share. A bit of background though, #155 is completely right, it's only been like 4 years.
Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when she began skipping ahead of me and out in to the street. I saw a car coming right at her so I tackled her to the ground to save her. Turns out the car was stopping and was never going to hit her, and my girlfriend doesn't appreciate concussions. FML
Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML
Today, I had a really important job interview, and as i was about to leave for it my mom told me to remember to make eye contact. As I was walking in, it was the only thing I could think about, so looking directly at him my foot hits a lip in the floor and my head slams into his desk. FML
Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped, grabbed the ball for the kid and went to hand it to him. He then yelled, "Stranger danger!" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30 minutes. FML
Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML
Today, I was babysitting a really bratty little girl. She came and cuddled up on the couch so I took it as an apology. I feel asleep while she was sitting with me and when I woke up she had peed on me. She locked herself in her room and was laughing about peeing on me for discipling her. FML
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