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tsim14's FML badges
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tsim14's favorite FMLs
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
by anonymaiacciu / 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm / France / Intimacy
by spellbound / 12/19/2012 at 9:59am / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids
Today, while at the airport waiting for my flight, I sat down next to a mother and her son. As I pulled out a water bottle, she leaned over to her son and said, "Promise me you will never do what the man next to you just did." I have no idea what the hell I did wrong. FML
by Bajar / 12/18/2012 at 2:53pm / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML
by SamWGovan / 12/09/2012 at 11:57am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML
by Anonymous / 12/01/2012 at 12:01pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
by me. / 12/01/2012 at 9:54am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend confronted me for forgetting to take the trash out. At some point during the argument, I tried to calm her down, and the words "I should of" escaped my lips. She spent the next ten minutes calling me stupid and laughing at how my grammar goes to hell when I'm distressed. FML
by Gus / 11/30/2012 at 2:30pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by so pray to ariel about it, dipshits / 11/30/2012 at 2:29pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Miscellaneous
by Read The Fine Print / 11/24/2012 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Transportation
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- Today, my dad came to confiscate my phone. I stuck it in between my boobs so he wouldn't be able to… Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get… Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex; I know that some women are great multitaskers, but I'm…