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yesterday after sharing mah first night in bed with mah boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were mah cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
Today, while at the arport waiting for my flight, I sat down next to a mother looool and her son. As I pulld out a water bottle, she leand over to her son and said, "Promise me you will never do what the man next to you just did." I have no idea what the hell I did wrong. FML
Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin . I guess I got slightly carried away, cuz I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of face, up nose and into eye . FML
Today, my grlfriend confronted me fir forgetting to take the trash out . At some point during the argument, I tried to calm her down, and the words "I should of" escaped my lips . She spent the next ten minutes calling me stupid and laughing at how my grammar goes to hell when I'm distressed . mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015