theawkwardlife

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Offline (the 03/18/2015 at 7:10am)

theawkwardlife

26Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 11 November 1948 (67 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3460
  • Number of comments : 116
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About theawkwardlife : You though it was sarcasm didn't you. ;)


Msg me and I'll respond to your lovely comments when I'm not busy performing satanic rituals

theawkwardlife's page activity

Visits<b>brisbanegirl</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 2:36am<b>Ava_Darkflame</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 11:05pm<b>Theguyinthedark</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 3:42am<b>chocolateberries</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 12:44am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 7:42am<b>Guy1009</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 9:36pm<b>ShockBlast8879</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 2:21pm<b>jman1324</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 3:23pm<b>Mons</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 4:41pm<b>Safiya16</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 2:09am<b>James_is_Mexican</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 2:49am<b>joco4</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 10:53am<b>Damned_Architect</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 3:43am<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 6:51am<b>dextrementor</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 12:27am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 10:46pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 10:56pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 3:10pm

Fucked!<b>Ava_Darkflame</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 5:06am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 4:46am<b>Pluiscyam</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 12:27pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 3:11pm<b>IspSG</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 5:50am<b>robertd73</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 5:39am<b>i_wuz_nver_here</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 5:38am<b>llamarrama01</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 3:27pm<b>Stazza11</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 11:18am<b>touch_the_sky_77</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 5:50am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 4:47am<b>WillyWonkaaaa</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 2:52am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 12:51am<b>Wingman527</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 8:22pm<b>MisterEx</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 11:35am<b>chancjd</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 4:31am<b>FiendHunter</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 3:09am<b>whiteangel361</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 2:22am

theawkwardlife's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of theawkwardlife's badges

theawkwardlife's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend asked to borrow my new laptop to email his college professor. When he returned it, it had a virus on it, and I had to fish out two pubic hairs that were sticking out between the keys. FML

by grossed out / 03/25/2013 at 2:25pm / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

by Apes / 03/25/2013 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn. Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it. FML

by Anonymous / 03/24/2013 at 6:30am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, I was complaining to my husband about a busty but vapid celebrity, and he replied, "She doesn't need brains, honey, she has boobs. You wouldn't understand." FML

by Beestings / 03/24/2013 at 1:14am / United States / Love

Today, a pregnant friend who is due in 2 weeks posted a picture of a baby on Facebook. I commented congratulations. She's still pregnant. It was a picture of her baby who died 3 years ago. FML

by seamonkeys / 03/21/2013 at 5:42am / United States / Kids

Today, four days after our fridge-freezer broke down, my husband staggered home with three bags of ham. He drunkenly bought it with most of what little money we have, so now not only is our food budget gone, we also have a metric cunt-load of ham, and nowhere to store it. FML

Today, while serving two middle-aged women at the coffee shop, I was screamed at and accused of being a "sexist and chauvinistic bastard." This was prompted by me charging one of them 40 cents for the addition of steamed milk, which is clearly stated on the price sheet. FML

by innocentbarista / 03/17/2013 at 3:00pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I told my family I was divorcing my husband. My little sister asked if "we can keep him instead". FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2013 at 11:51am / United States (Nebraska) / Kids

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

by fmlman / 03/15/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Wyoming) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML

by guy / 03/15/2013 at 1:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, instead of actually teaching us something, our college professor excitedly showed us the godawful Harlem Shake video he made with his friends. FML

by Will this stupid fad ever end? / 03/06/2013 at 6:51am / United States / Work

Today, I was being interviewed for an amazing job when I was asked what animal I would describe myself as. Trying to be prompt, I picked the first thing that came to me. I responded with, "I'd be a turtle because I'm really slow sometimes." FML

by seriously / 03/04/2013 at 7:43pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, I realized that the "eyelash curling brush" that my best friend found in my old bathroom drawer was actually a stick used for cleaning food out of my sister's braces. I used that thing for years. FML

by curly_eyelashes / 02/24/2013 at 9:30am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML

by cls_x / 02/24/2013 at 2:53am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML

by bettercallpeta / 02/15/2013 at 12:42am / United States / Animals