little_aliceee

Search for a member

Offline (the 07/07/2016 at 2:36pm)

little_aliceee

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1557
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About little_aliceee : I am not a grammar Nazi; I am a grammar Christian. I like to condemn people for being wrong even when I don't know the rules myself.

little_aliceee's page activity

Visits<b>Laeffy</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 8:50pm<b>bradoiler</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:44pm<b>savannah12345677</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 11:37pm<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 11:47pm<b>zingline89</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 12:03am<b>TommyG493</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 3:01pm<b>tykatdesigns</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 11:21pm<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 7:20pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 12:34pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 9:54am<b>kaitlynb01</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 8:21am<b>fader48080</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 8:20am<b>DenverTyrrell</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 7:24am<b>ADBurns</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 5:12pm<b>WaistDownUnder</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 6:04pm<b>whereismyb4con</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 4:23am<b>Kodiakken</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 1:35pm<b>disgruntledchef</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 8:40am

little_aliceee's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of little_aliceee's badges

little_aliceee's favorite FMLs

Today, while shopping, I told my wife I'd love some pork chops for dinner. Someone nearby muttered, "That's practically cannibalism, ya fat pig." My wife immediately had a "coughing attack" that sounded suspiciously like it was covering up laughter. FML

by dempasi / 05/06/2016 at 2:51pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, a crazy homeless guy got angry because I wouldn't sell him a bottle of vodka at half price. He got so irrationally mad, he put his fingers down his throat and threw up on my checkout. FML

by NotBeingPaidEnough / 03/03/2016 at 8:17am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, my boyfriend got so baked, he thought I was in the washing machine. I came downstairs to find him sitting in a puddle of soaking wet clothes, crying about where I was. FML

by cutiecuppiecakez / 02/29/2016 at 4:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML

by leahrb / 02/24/2016 at 1:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, despite hints, suggestions, and even blatant criticism, my coworker refuses to believe he smells like rotten donkey nuts. He says he only needs to shower once a week, and that he doesn't believe in deodorant. I volunteered to do an extra autopsy today because the morgue smells better. FML

by ragnarok1540 / 02/17/2016 at 11:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML

by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I crashed my car into a bridge, while playing a song with the line, "I crashed my car into a bridge". FML

by ugh / 01/23/2016 at 3:48pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, two teen girls got into a shouting match at the table next to mine at the food court. Sensing a fight brewing, I got up to leave. I stood up just in time for one of the girls to throw her tray, which missed her target and hit me in the head. FML

by LiLMAMA0523 / 01/21/2016 at 9:02am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I played charades with my girlfriend and her family. When it was her turn to act out a phrase, she simply walked to the center of the room and pointed to herself and then at me. It took less than 5 seconds for someone to correctly guess "Beauty and the Beast". FML

by fuglymug / 01/08/2016 at 4:48pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I'm spending Christmas Eve at the hospital. Why? Because when I blew my nose, a ball of flesh connected to a tendril of skin shot out, and it wouldn't go back up. FML

by yek / 12/24/2015 at 2:01pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Health

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married when his wife showed up at my door. That's about the same time she found her husband is gay, and that Ashley can be a man's name. FML

by Anonymous / 11/20/2015 at 9:43am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she let out a blood-curdling scream. Turned out she'd searched for My Little Pony pictures and stumbled upon a drawing of Rainbow Dash giving another pony a blowjob. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2015 at 11:26am / Canada (Manitoba) / Kids

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay / 08/21/2015 at 11:25am / Malta / Kids

Today, I was putting the cat outside. He wouldn't go, so I kicked him. Then I woke up to my husband screaming. I’d been dreaming, and the "cat" I kicked was his family jewels. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2015 at 4:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML

by Marika / 07/20/2015 at 1:48pm / United States (California) / Intimacy