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dancinwookie

Offline (the 05/09/2015 at 1:32am) | Search for a member

dancinwookie

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 February 1984 (31 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10402
  • Number of comments : 246
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About dancinwookie : I'm a walking non-sequitur. I try to spread sunshine, so, please, don't piss on my parade. You can message me, but it might take me a little bit to respond. I love rainbows more than I can verbally express. Sometimes I give just the absolute worst advice on here, because the outcome that is playing in my head is beyond ridiculously funny. My humor is imagination based.

dancinwookie's page activity

Visits<b>pete9913</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 9:55am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 2:47am<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 12:17pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 12:57pm<b>sky413</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:26am<b>KhazKhazz</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 5:42pm<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 2:57pm<b>UkeSenpai</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 3:34am<b>potionowl</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 3:22am<b>fakedsincerity</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 7:51pm<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 12:51pm<b>exitium16</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 9:14am<b>alwaysstabbing</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 5:27am<b>hippodankamus</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 8:48pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 7:55pm<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 8:28pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 2:02pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 5:56pm

Fucked!<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 6:17pm<b>bugmenotmofo</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 5:03pm<b>fakedsincerity</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 1:52am<b>hippodankamus</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 2:48am<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 1:42am

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dancinwookie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was so starved of human contact that I almost took up a transsexual hooker's offer of a "good time." Nothing wrong with that really, but they looked like a haunted tree dressed as Liza Minnelli. FML

#17675561
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10515) - you deserved it (20452)

On 09/05/2011 at 10:38pm - intimacy - by Username (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by covering my car with post-it notes that read "it's you not me." FML

#17673580
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27025) - you deserved it (3691)

On 09/05/2011 at 7:14pm - love - by rplovez (woman) - Canada

Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML

#17641775
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27610) - you deserved it (3004)

On 09/02/2011 at 2:54am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML

#17641775
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27610) - you deserved it (3004)

On 09/02/2011 at 2:54am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

#17627685
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16659) - you deserved it (55644)

On 08/31/2011 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I wrote "I love you" on my girlfriend's Facebook wall. She completely freaked out and accused me of being "too clingy" and that I'm starting to feel more like a stalker than a boyfriend. FML

#17589348
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32346) - you deserved it (7468)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a text message from a number I don't know saying "I'm sorry, but I'm cheating on you, I couldn't do this in person because you're ugly when you cry." I haven't had a relationship in 6 years and I still manage to get dumped. FML

#17584361
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38073) - you deserved it (2865)

On 08/26/2011 at 7:09am - love - by j_babydoll6520 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML

#17573986
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24491) - you deserved it (2363)

On 08/25/2011 at 12:24am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend because he is tired of everyone giving him shit about my ginger hair. FML

#17517733
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42227) - you deserved it (6422)

On 08/19/2011 at 6:38am - love - by ginger (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37129) - you deserved it (3480)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States

Today, I was presented with a bill for $27,601 by my single, alcoholic, deadbeat father. Why? "For having to raise your goddamn lazy ass." FML

#17350517
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33927) - you deserved it (2648)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:45am - money - by bigbill - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out my mother cleans the dishes with bathroom cleaning chemicals. She doesn't see anything wrong with this. FML

#17316744
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32115) - you deserved it (2476)

On 07/31/2011 at 2:18am - misc - by isucksomuch - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out my mother cleans the dishes with bathroom cleaning chemicals. She doesn't see anything wrong with this. FML

#17316744
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32115) - you deserved it (2476)

On 07/31/2011 at 2:18am - misc - by isucksomuch - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML

#17233165
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43092) - you deserved it (5615) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm - love - by mathii - Sent from mobile version

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32241) - you deserved it (92303)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)



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