Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

brewmasterg

Search for a member

brewmasterg

16Fucked!

brewmastergbrewmasterg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 December 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10784
  • Number of comments : 153
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About brewmasterg : Fuck food, I'd rather have tattoos.

brewmasterg's page activity

Visits<b>43bubba34</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 8:53am<b>gdziejestem</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 10:58pm<b>gissyyyy</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 4:57pm<b>kemmyy</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 4:03pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 3:02pm<b>cuculagirl</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 12:03pm<b>_ExcitedPotato_</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 1:15am<b>tiwan</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 11:34pm<b>Theglc20</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 8:50pm<b>liquifiednate</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 5:50pm<b>amine91</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 4:21pm<b>Jon38_Cole</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 3:38pm<b>conivore723</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 3:35pm<b>apcsox</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 3:06pm<b>bobjope</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 2:29pm<b>m00nchilddd</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 1:02pm<b>JoeOfDoom</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 12:33pm<b>Emmamazing</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 12:11pm

Fucked!<b>cuculagirl</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 6:04pm<b>apcsox</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:06pm<b>chuchusheep</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 4:34pm<b>crazy_loner</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 3:05pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 1:00pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:30pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 9:26am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 7:47am<b>EmsyyyRose13</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 8:55pm<b>a_nice_guy</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 2:52pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 6:39pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 7:18am<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 10:29pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:31pm<b>Hamlet1971</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 3:07pm<b>ViperSe</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 7:30am

brewmasterg's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of brewmasterg's badges

brewmasterg's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML

#19558069
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25686) - you deserved it (2033)

On 05/01/2012 at 12:17pm - health - by karmafails (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was worried about my brother because he said that his new medication was making him hallucinate. I told him he should see a doctor right away. He said it was fine and that he had already seen a doctor. I later found out the doctor he was talking about was a hallucination. FML

#19536164
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23628) - you deserved it (2311)

On 04/27/2012 at 4:22am - health - by PickedOff (woman) - United States

Today, I congratulated a bride standing in front of a church in a white dress. Turns out she'd been stood up at the altar. She thrashed me with her bouquet. FML

#19482907
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26211) - you deserved it (3620)

On 04/17/2012 at 6:52am - misc - by Wrongword - China (Shanghai)

Today, there was a mandatory staff-wide "cleaning party" for a corporate inspection. I was assigned the outside bar which is infested with full-grown roaches with wings. FML

#19482004
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22405) - you deserved it (1984)

On 04/17/2012 at 12:26am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I arrived at work, only to find my computer's massive CRT monitor had been smashed up beyond belief. Everyone else has flat-screen monitors, and I'd made no secret of how unfair it is to me. According to my boss, this makes me the obvious culprit, and now I'm suspended. FML

#19473815
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24422) - you deserved it (2334)

On 04/15/2012 at 5:26pm - work - by ... (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to be kind to animals and get my dad to buy cage-free eggs. When I told him it was dollar more, he started yelling and making a scene in the middle of the store, saying that chickens are ugly and they deserve to suffer. FML

#19469757
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26037) - you deserved it (6011)

On 04/14/2012 at 11:46pm - misc - by ilovechickens - United States

Today, my girlfriend saw the name "Melissa" on my phone's contact list. After refusing to tell her who it was, she accused me of being a cheater, broke up with me and stormed out of my house. Melissa is the name of a woman from Craigslist who was going to sell me an antique engagement ring. FML

#19459497
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38258) - you deserved it (7828)

On 04/13/2012 at 1:09am - love - by rejected - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML

#19434982
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10434) - you deserved it (33713)

On 04/09/2012 at 4:28am - animals - by stupidbug. (man) - Canada

Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML

#19411033
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22670) - you deserved it (12597)

On 04/05/2012 at 7:29am - misc - by Nadaz (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML

#19405476
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29860) - you deserved it (1779)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:13am - health - by screaming monkey - United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead)

Today, I realized that the "holla" tattoo I stupidly got on my lower lip five years ago isn't fading as I expected it to, and will probably contribute to my unemployment for years to come. FML

#19376711
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5829) - you deserved it (67210)

On 03/30/2012 at 3:13pm - work - by bananamuffin - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me by maniacally zooming in and out of traffic while we were on his motorcycle. His mood turned to anger when I nervously admitted to having voided my bowels. FML

#19350917
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21247) - you deserved it (3120)

On 03/26/2012 at 12:15pm - misc - by Shantwozzlah (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML

#19345098
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14554) - you deserved it (25443)

On 03/25/2012 at 2:04pm - health - by analeis (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

#19342755
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31543) - you deserved it (3410)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:49am - animals - by uh-oh - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML

#19331410
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24078) - you deserved it (1917)

On 03/23/2012 at 5:44am - work - by ANNIEDBD - Ireland (Dublin)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: