Demonfish

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Demonfish

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4080
  • Number of comments : 238
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Demonfish : I'm here to relieve boredom by laughing at other peoples humerous misfortunes, and occasionally offer condolences when the misfortune is depressing, which is basically what the rest of you are here for.
Generally I try not to take things too seriously, I prefer the place in between silliness and seriousness, so my comments may vary in sensibility, of you have a problem with that, I have but one thing to say to you: "tough shit."
In my as of yet relatively short life, I've been called many things: genius, idiot, insane, wise, wonderful, even beautiful, by one particularly deluded, and stunningly gorgeous girl. I also know a guy who is firmly convinced that I am the Antichrist... well, each to his own, I suppose.

Demonfish's page activity

Visits<b>quazimozart</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 2:57pm<b>InteresingMan</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 4:27pm<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 3:45am<b>unsealingkale</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 1:35am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 2:22pm<b>saranguyen24</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 1:14am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 3:33am<b>vb68</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 10:31pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 6:17pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 6:20pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 10:34am<b>Dowbo</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 1:12am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 1:47pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 12:49pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 1:19am<b>Phantomisr</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 1:48pm<b>SethFAX</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 10:48am<b>izkiz</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 11:37pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 12:20am<b>Dowbo</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 7:13am

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Demonfish's favorite FMLs

Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2011 at 3:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

by Deborah / 10/27/2011 at 2:41am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML

by ApparentDrugAddict / 08/08/2011 at 2:23am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a fight broke out in a bar between several people, over some talk about one of their moms being somewhat inclined towards intercourse with her pets. I managed to slip out quietly with just a scratch from flying chair debris, despite having started the rumor. FML

by Username / 08/05/2011 at 10:05am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML

by craphanded / 07/19/2011 at 1:45pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Animals

Today, I finished reading a book about the treatment of mental patients and decided to use some of the strategies on my dad. We've never gotten along better. FML

by Bekah / 07/04/2011 at 9:24am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked downstairs, made a bowl of hot cereal, and held a full conversation with my brother's girlfriend, before I finally put two and two together and realized I hadn't put any pants on. FML

by mongoosemike / 06/07/2011 at 1:55am / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML

by PizzaBoySwag / 06/04/2011 at 5:36am / United States (California) / Work

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML

by zain / 06/04/2011 at 2:15am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

by aarone23 / 06/01/2011 at 9:30am / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation

Today, I realized that I frequently argue with myself and respond back. FML

by sillyfox4lyfe / 05/07/2011 at 3:08am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, leaving the restaurant I work in, the car next to mine was very crookedly parked. I had a hard time backing out. It turned out the whole restaurant was watching me, and they all started to clap as I drove away. FML

by parkingisawesome / 05/05/2011 at 8:35pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML

by Charlie / 05/04/2011 at 11:30pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML

by MathTeacher / 05/02/2011 at 10:30am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I thought it would be funny to tickle my daughter's foot, which she hates. One bloody nose, multiple scratches and 4 toe-shaped bruises later, she's the one laughing. FML

by B / 04/18/2011 at 4:09am / United Kingdom (Essex) / Kids