Nearly FMLs

By mloob - 04/08/2018 21:43

Today, I was berated by my dad for taking Japanese classes. According to him, I should have taken Latin or Greek, and only idiots learn second languages other than those. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 4

By Halp - 04/08/2018 19:43

Today, the guy I’m seeing told me we should stop dating. Today, I also found out I’m pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 11

By HAH9519 - 04/08/2018 01:55

Today, I discovered my boyfriend of 4 years cheated on me with his ex, but also his parents' guilt tripped him into an arranged marriage with a different woman. So much for being a supportive girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 03/08/2018 12:58 - United States - Anchorage

Today, despite having reasonable grades and a genius-level IQ, I was rejected from medical school. My classmate who received straight C's and an SAT score 300 points lower than mine was accepted to the same school. He is black, I am Asian, and that apparently matters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 22

By MemeGod - 03/08/2018 05:59

Today, I was standing outside while barefoot. A yellow jacket started buzzing around me so I started to run. Too bad I sprinted into a brick and broke off my entire toenail. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 13

By kieron2013 - 03/08/2018 01:52 - United Kingdom

Today, I realized that my life has not gone well so far. I'm 20, I'm borderline morbidly obese, I'm currently unemployed, and I have liver and kidney failure. I realized this at 1 am, completely naked, getting drunk, and eating way too many donuts, whilst I was binge watching Futurama and porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31

You deserved it 92

By DelawareShmelaware - 03/08/2018 02:27

Today, I was asked to go swimming at the lake by our camping spot with a really cute girl at the same campgrounds. When I got to the lake, I realized she was cliff jumping. She peers pressured me into jumping. I pencil dived and cut my foot open. I had to go to the hospital for stitches my first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 12

By Kassutera - 03/08/2018 01:08

Today I couldn't get a new ID card because I lost my birth certificate in a flooding incident years ago. When I wrote to the state requesting my birth certificate, I was told I needed a valid ID to get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 3

By a5_ - 03/08/2018 01:01

Today, there was a horrible thunderstorm and my dog got so distressed he was up until about 6am. I finally got to sleep only to wake up just in time for work to find out he had pooped all over the house. I ended up arriving at work late and the owner of the company was there today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 5

By notmydaysince99 - 03/08/2018 00:16

Today I finally got my very own new to me car. Pontiac got and I loved it so much. As I pulled off the lot I got hit by a driver that was texting and my car is totaled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 3

By maplelatte - 02/08/2018 21:42

Today, after eight months of planning a trip to Dubai with my mum to see her friend, I lost my passport. We're supposed to be flying out in two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 24

By "TheHarvardian" - 02/08/2018 18:46

Today, following someone getting fired on Tuesday, another person walked out. This brings a team of what was 13 to 2. I am doing 90% of the work now. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 02/08/2018 14:48

Today, my boyfriend didn't do anything for my birthday. He even had my mom pay for lunch & dinner. As we were on our way home, we stopped to get ice cream. It was $4. I had to pay for it. He's 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 13

By Sparky - 02/08/2018 08:45

Today, about half an hour before I got home from work, lightning struck so close to my house that it blew out my main TV, 4 cable boxes, my router, a network switch, my Fire TV box, 2 VOIP phone routers, and my Blu-ray player. I'm moving in 3 weeks, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 02/08/2018 01:33

Today, apparently my hormones can't decide if I'm in my 40's or in my teens judging by the amount of acne I currently have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 3

By Jordan - 02/08/2018 00:15

Today, my boss told me he's letting me go. My current position is in a town about forty-five minutes from where I live now. I signed a lease three weeks ago, have already set up my utilities and renters insurance, and am in the process of packing up my things to move in two days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 1

By lizardlover - 02/08/2018 00:07

Today, I am planning to move 3k miles for a new job. I've recruited two roommates and signed a lease, moving in two weeks. . . only to find out that my pet lizard is illegal in the state. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 14

By SailorSolaris - 01/08/2018 23:19

Today, I went to a Sonic Drive In for the first time. The resulting 20 hours in the bathroom, 8 of which were just recovering some energy, ensured it would also be the last time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 01/08/2018 20:00

Today, I was chatting with a patient at the hospital I work at, who has what I can only describe as a "rotting head". He dropped something and as I went to pick it up, a glob of his head fell on my hand. I wasn't wearing gloves. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 5

By smelly - 01/08/2018 19:00

Today, I was stopped by a teacher who told me that multiple people have complained about my breath smelling like "poop and garlic". I brushed my teeth for 10 minutes this morning, flossed 3 times, and have been popping breath mints all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 215

You deserved it 374

By cutcut1 - 01/08/2018 12:15 - Canada

Today, is the third day after quitting the opiates I was prescribed after facial surgery cold turkey. After the unrelenting vomiting and chills brought on by withdrawal, I’m starting to understand why people get addicted to this stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 4

By Lisa Nicole Myers - 01/08/2018 05:53 - United States - Beaverton

Today, I fractured my foot... By tripping over my own flip flop while walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 21

By Tonsiljockey - 01/08/2018 10:05

Today, I was diagnosed with tonsillitis. I got my tonsils out 2 months ago.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 3

By Octrooi - 01/08/2018 08:34 - Netherlands

Today, I came to work after being on vacation. When I booted up my laptop and glanced at my calendar I came to the realisation my vacation wasn't due till the next day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 23

By Suprisd Straight Guy - 01/08/2018 05:08

Today, I got dumped by a girl who I had been seeing for a few months. She said that I turned her lesbian. She is dating my childhood friend now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 4

By Bride - 01/08/2018 04:46

Today, I realized I forgot to pack birth control for my destination wedding/honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 33

By LowT - 01/08/2018 03:52

Today, I found out that my husband has been suffering from low testosterone for months. He chose to ignore it, and led me to believe his lack of sexual desire was because of me and my weight gain from giving him two children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 4

By Bro - 01/08/2018 03:22

Today, I accidentally posted my nudes on my snapshot story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29

You deserved it 89

By Unfair - 01/08/2018 01:30

Today, my boss yelled at me for using my phone during my shift, even though I was just checking the time. Later, I saw him playing Pokémon Go. I guess the rules don’t apply to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 392

You deserved it 492

By Pseudonym - 31/07/2018 23:42 - Germany - Burg Stargard

Today, I got to find out the hard way that I'm allergic to shellfish despite never having been allergic in the prior 26 years of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 4

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I read through my phone, hoping there weren't any drunk texts by me from the night before. Apparently I dirty texted everyone, even my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 919

You deserved it 39 319

Today, I turned up 5 minutes late to what would have been a 5 minute breast check. After waiting for ages, a nurse asked me what I was doing there. Turns out because I was late, they had put me in the no-show pile, but forgot to tell me when I checked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 545

You deserved it 8 734

Today, I booked my car in for a service, with the intention of taking the courtesy bus to work. I got there at 8:45am, and the receptionist told me the courtesy bus was 10 minutes away. Work is 1.5km away, so I told my boss that I might be a couple of minutes late. Fifty minutes later, the bus came. I should've walked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 160

Today, one of my best friends went into labor 14 days early. I'd told my boss previously about this and that I need to be there for my friend as she doesn't really have any family. My boss will not let me leave work to be there. Why? I didn't give enough notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 088

You deserved it 3 386

Today, a woman came into the gas station where I work, yelling because her credit card wouldn't read at the pump. I politely told her that I could set the pump up for a set amount, and she could swipe the card at the register. Her response? "You need Jesus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 761

You deserved it 2 784

Today, I broke a bolt on my minivan trying to fix the timing belt myself to save money. I spent about 300 dollars in parts. I took the van to the shop and the total to fix it is going to be 1200 dollars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 649

You deserved it 1 010