Nearly FMLs

By UnluckyFool - 31/07/2018 21:19

Today, I instantly felt attracted to someone. She's beautiful. Shares the same interests in me. Spent a while just talking about our interests. She basically my ideal woman. She is even single. The down side? She's my new work coach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 10

Third Time's The Charm?

By overkill much? - 31/07/2018 21:10

Today, I had a phone interview for a job. Not even an hour later they sent me a rejection email. Normally this wouldn't bother me, but ten minutes after that I received the exact same email again, and two hours after that, they sent me a third rejection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39

You deserved it 1

By kai - 31/07/2018 19:41

Today, I came out to my parents as a trans man. At first, they seemed accepting, but now whenever I introduce myself to people as Kai, my parents always chime in with “HER name is MIRANDA.” I’ve asked them to stop and they won’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 21

By Anonymous - 31/07/2018 17:18

Today, I was the only one of my friends not to make the school musical. The reason? I was told that I didn’t make it because I was “too tall and too heavy” and would “detract from the aesthetic”. The lead was way heavier than I was, and about 3 inches taller. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 4

By Shalamar - 31/07/2018 17:06

Today, my MIL received an award and thanked all of her children, one by one, for being so supportive. She forgot my husband, who was standing right there on the stage beside her. He’s also her firstborn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 01/08/2018 02:03 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, I got fired from my job because I had to look after my sick child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 3

By MiseryIsPreferable - 31/07/2018 05:12

Today, I decided to change my study abroad program because I realized I would be miserable on the trip I originally signed up for. My dad doesn't approve and told me that "being happy isn't important." Great life advice, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 12

By pissedoff - 31/07/2018 03:06

Today, despite telling my friend numerous times I can't afford a spring break trip, she has already started booking a $3000 cruise and telling many people I'll go. I don't even have a job right now, what 19 year old has that much money to waste? FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 6

By Ainarr - 31/07/2018 02:48

Today, I was talking to my 13 year old cousin about my friends. She paused when I finished, looking confused. When I asked why, she replied, “You have friends?” I’m 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 5

By GaymerLink - 31/07/2018 02:00

Today, Went on vacation from work for a week. District manager said they would handle my job duties. Get back after vacation and the office is in complete disarray. DM reprimands me for my poor work performance the week I was gone and is sending me to novice training two weeks. I’ve been here 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 30/07/2018 23:24

Today, my boyfriend locked the keys to my car in the trunk, after an interview. Good news, he's a possible candidate for a new job. Bad news, I got a write up for unannounced overtime because I had to wait for my mom to pick me up with the spare key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 7

By GaggingForAShagging - 30/07/2018 13:26 - United Kingdom

Today, it’s been so long since my husband and I have been intimate that I had an orgasm in my sleep an hour after he accidentally brushed my boob. It’s the most action I’ve got. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 7

By LK1 - 30/07/2018 07:32

Today, I was so hungry I decided to eat the leftovers in the fridge. They were two weeks old. I've been on the toilet all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18

You deserved it 68

By Navi - 29/07/2018 17:44

Today, in class, I overheard a new classmate saying "Gravity is just a theory." I then proceed to message my roommates, laughing at his stupidity. Later, this same fellow walks into my house without knocking. My roommate introduced him as her cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 21

By proud - 29/07/2018 12:02

Today, my brother proudly told me and my best friend that he had learnt to multitask. I asked how. Then he told me he had finally learned to take a dump and pee at the same time. He’s 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 29/07/2018 09:14

Today, my cat licked my boob while I was watching Netflix. This is the closest thing I've had to "Netflix and chill" in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 10

By KlutzyRequiem - 28/07/2018 23:52 - Canada - Kincardine

Today I finally received the date to see a specialist for my digestive problems. In celebration of this day, my bowels decided to throw a raging party after weeks of normalcy. Well played stomach, well played. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 2

By "Lordofthebees" - 29/07/2018 04:58

Today, I got rejected from a university. After reading that email, my now ex-boyfriend messaged me with a dick pic. I told him I wasn't in the mood - as I felt a bit sad about the rejection. He then tried to start an argument about it and then dumped me. Over text. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 29/07/2018 04:26

Today, my ex of two weeks posted “Happy 3 Year Baby!” on Facebook. We dated for 7 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 7

By Upstaged - 28/07/2018 20:24 - United States - Amarillo

Today, after having told my future sister-in-law a few months before that I was planning an outdoor wedding in October, she announced that she and her boyfriend will be having their outdoor wedding in September of the same year. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 10

By not interested - 29/07/2018 02:42

Today, in yet another one of grandma's mini family reunion. I, once again, once more, had to explain to her, my dad, and uncles that being a "bachelor-by-choice" is not a subtle hint of coming out soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 28/07/2018 22:33

Today I awoke to find maggots all over my house. It was like a plague. We spent 2 hours cleaning it up. I have no idea why or how they got there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 6

By whatgives? - 28/07/2018 22:22

Today, my offended adult cousin told our entire family the romance book I gave her was dirty smut. This, coming from someone who has watched and read Game of Thrones religiously. So, rape, murder, torture, and castration is okay, but you draw the line at vanilla sex between consenting adults? FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 4

By SleepingSideGirl - 28/07/2018 21:06

Today, I found out the guy I've been dating for over a month has had a girlfriend for a year... when she walked in on us naked in bed together the morning after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 28/07/2018 17:18

Today, I have become so frustrated with still being an unkissed virgin at 25, I actually contemplated visiting a swinger club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 9

By Baileigh - 28/07/2018 12:28

Today I had a beautiful roast lunch packed for me by my housemate and I couldn’t wait to eat it. I sat down to eat this deliciousness, unknowingly a bird had perched itself on a branch above me. As I went to take a bite the bird defecated right in my bowl. Then again in my lunch box FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 6

By MimiRawr - 28/07/2018 06:32

Today, I found out someone is spreading a nasty rumor around saying I had an abortion when I had a miscarriage back in April. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 5

By Lordofthebees - 28/07/2018 04:11 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Today, my ex dumped me drunkenly via text. Then cried about how much he wanted me back and how much he missed me. A few days later he called me a "freak" and blocked me on everything. I am so done with dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 4

By Kaylap - 27/07/2018 21:41 - United States - Cocoa Beach

Today, my sister and her three kids moved into my house from Ohio, solely because my sister's afraid of when her ex-husband gets out of jail. When they got here, the first things my nephew does is break my TV screen. My sister then scares my three cats outside after yelling at them for no apparent reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 27/07/2018 23:18

Today, I'm 29 weeks pregnant and my husband tells me he isn’t in love with me anymore and we are now separated. He moved me to a town 9 hours away from home and I don’t know anyone here. No job and no money to go back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 7

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my manager denied our entire team the measly 2% raise he'd promised us months ago because it’s "not in the budget." Coincidentally, all the managers' free company cars were just upgraded from 10 year-old luxury Range Rovers to 2023 Mercedes and BMWs, due to record company profits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031

You deserved it 90

Today, a customer called the restaurant I work at to ask if our coupons were always valid, or if they expired on the expiration date printed on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 055

You deserved it 5 004

Today, I woke up after a long night of taking care of my drunken husband. I guess I should feel lucky I don't have a generic, "He wet the bed in his sleep" story, and instead have a unique, "He got out of bed and peed on me" story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 150

You deserved it 1 158

Today, I found out that it's possible to make your sister so mad that she scoops the litter box and hides the contents around your room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 429

You deserved it 1 770

Today, my boyfriend gave me a $100 gift card for Victoria's Secret. Suspicious, I checked the receipt he'd left in the bag. Turns out he had bought it during the 2 weeks we were broken up for some other girl who rejected him, so decided to give it to me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 376

You deserved it 6 998

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 39