Nearly FMLs

By FML - 26/02/2016 18:12 - United States - Navarre

Today, I have a day off from college classes. I could be spending it doing work or catching up on laundry. But what am I doing? Sitting on the toilet while my gastrointestinal track reeks havoc on my body. It hurts so back my feet are going numb...FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By missanon101 - 26/02/2016 18:10 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, my brother's fiancé was discussing the entertainment for their reception with me and she wants to have strobe lights flashing to the beat of the music, this wouldn't be a problem if I wasn't her maid of honor and epileptic. She won't change her mind.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Saraishi - 26/02/2016 18:04 - Portugal - Lisbon

Today, my house lost power for no apparent reason. After calling tech support and enduring a cold and darker by the minute house since 3pm, we called the power company again only to be told that the tech support team wouldn't be able to come to our house before 8pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By qveen_ - 26/02/2016 17:55 - United States - Porter

Today, I was borrowing my sisters car to go to school. I have my license suspended. I got pulled over for expired tags by the same cop who arrested me the first time. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Uyre83 - 26/02/2016 17:09 - United States - Chattanooga

Today, I caught my 60 year old biology teacher watching porn. If that wasn't bad enough he was watching shemale porn. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By corky1992 - 26/02/2016 17:00 - United States - Blue Springs

Today, after months of being without a job I finally scored a phone interview. They never called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By muuca - 26/02/2016 16:54 - Italy - Rome

Today, I tried sneaking out of the house. My parents caught me because I was breathing too loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By idiot_lover - 26/02/2016 16:40 - Brazil - S?o Paulo

Today it's been one year I'm trying to get over this chick I fell in love in. Yesterday everything was fine, but today I got an e-mail, from myself, exactly 1 year ago, through the futureme.org service, telling me how happy I probably was, being with her all this time. News flash: I'm not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 26/02/2016 16:38 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I lost my virginity to a girl I really liked. Was so bad she wants nothing to do with me and burned all bridges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By yudodisdoggu - 26/02/2016 16:25 - United States - Katy

Today, my mom's dog came into my room, which was a surprise since she seems to like my brother more. She decided to surprise me again by shitting on my floor. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Topher234672 - 26/02/2016 15:42 - United States - Tucson

Today, my parents were bidding online for storage lockers that weren't paid off. They had me clicking and typing, right? While imputing the auto bid amount, I might have double tapped a 0. Now instead of it being 500 it's 5000. You can't change it once set. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Mr. X - 26/02/2016 15:35 - United States - Southborough

Today, I got pulled into an alley and told I was being mugged. Being a former MMA fighter, I easily kicked the ass of the guy attacking me, however, I failed to notice another guy sneaking up behind me and beating me near to death with a jagged rock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Cristian - 26/02/2016 15:28 - United States - Orlando

Today, We were supposed to go to Puerto Rico. Our seats were taken so we were booked for another flight. Those seats were taken too. Now we're booked for the last flight later. So we decide to head home to wait, only to realize a few bags and keys to the car are on their way to PR. Before us. FML

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You deserved it 0

By Miguel - 26/02/2016 15:20 - United States - Orlando

Today, we were going on our flight to Puerto Rico. Our seats were taken so we were booked for another flight at a way later time. Then that flight only had 1 seat available. We decide to go home to wait for the last flight. We got to the car only to realize the keys are on their way to PR instead.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 26/02/2016 15:16 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my husband is so obsessed with my breasts that he admitted to being jealous of our breastfed baby. FML

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You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 26/02/2016 15:15 - Canada - Burlington

Today, my guy friend gave me a call. We had an argument over why I didn't want to be his girlfriend and haven't spoken in months. I thought he was apologizing so I answered it. It turns out he's not sorry at all and only called to ask me if I could be his "friend with benefits". FML

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You deserved it 0

By ladyLALAA - 26/02/2016 14:54 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I pooped so hard in the only ladies toilet at work that my tampon came out during the act. I couldn't flush it and had nothing to fish it out with. There was a lineup, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Wraith09 - 26/02/2016 14:18 - Canada - Holland Landing

Today, I overheard 2 executives discussing ways to save money, since the company has been struggling. One said "We could save a lot by cutting back product planning." I work in product planning. In fact, the only employee in product planning. FML

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You deserved it 0

By sadblufly - 26/02/2016 14:13 - United States - Louisville

Today, I slept through my midterm exam. This test was half of my class credit and my professor refuses to let me make it up. The professor is my mother and I slept through it because she turned off my alarm clock when she came over to visit last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By CornPT - 26/02/2016 14:04 - United States - Austin

Today, I found out my grandmother has stage 4 cancer in her lungs, my parents are getting divorced, and I'm bankrupt. I ship out for basic training in a month, I'm not going to have a family to come back to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Neko987 - 26/02/2016 13:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with another guy. The other guy was my friend. Apparently me being upset was wrong and I got yelled at for bringing it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Dylan - 26/02/2016 13:35 - United States - Brockton

Today, I went on my first date with a lovely girl called Faith, after only talking to her for a couple of days. We were having a great time, but halfway through the date, I took my sweater off, and that's when she saw I have the word "faith" tattooed on my left arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By lonely - 26/02/2016 13:16 - United States

Today, I learned that the Epileptic Warning at the beginning of videogames also apply to my cat as well -_-. FML

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You deserved it 0

By DGCommando - 26/02/2016 12:47 - United States

Today, my pregnant girlfriend broke up with me. I had already bought the ring and was waiting for the right time. FML

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You deserved it 0

By BadNight - 26/02/2016 12:24 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I woke up hungover. I then realized that I drank to much last night and instead of "napping" to sober up I just slept through work. I figured this out after reading my bosses multiple texts asking where I was. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Badluckolsen - 26/02/2016 12:12 - United States - Charlotte

Today, the wind knocked the power out at my house. I just so happened to be on an extremely important job interview on my home phone. He won't answer his phone again. FML

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You deserved it 0

By OneOnJuanAction - 26/02/2016 11:42 - United States - Glastonbury

Today, my family and I got kicked off of a flight for, "Looking like a threat." All the passengers clapped as we got off. FML

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You deserved it 0

By single & angry - 26/02/2016 11:34 - Netherlands - Voorhout

Today, my long distance boyfriend broke up with me. Not by a Skype call though, but by linking me a voice clip of him crying and dumping me, blocking me everywhere, refusing to give me a chance to talk, and telling everything to one of my friends. I had to hear everything through my friend. FML

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You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 26/02/2016 11:21 - Australia - Keysborough

Today, I google searched 'brilliantearth' on my boyfriends iPhone, so that their incessant advertising for engagement rings will give him the hint. FML

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You deserved it 0

By miss articulate - 26/02/2016 10:58 - India - Alwar

Today, despite having won quite a few debates and spoken in assemblies, I managed fucking up my end of the year speech in front of my own class by blurting "Thanks, it was all okay" and hurriedly walking back to my seat. The reactions I shall never forget. FML

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You deserved it 0

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, during sex, my (now ex) boyfriend called out the name of the new female coworker that he told me just last night "not to worry about." He's known her for a week. We were together for 8 and a half years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 557

You deserved it 153

Today, I performed in my school's choir concert. The girl next to me started to pass out, and I grabbed her so she wouldn't hit her head. After we were done performing and the curtains closed, my choir teacher dragged me off stage and said I was getting an F for "creating a distraction". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 728

You deserved it 3 369

A great power implies great responsibilities

I agree, your life sucks 2 883

You deserved it 2 826

Today, I saw my daughter dusting her furniture with the white handkerchief I gave her as a wedding present. It's been in our family for 4 generations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 992

You deserved it 5 769

Today, my phone died. I plugged it in to charge and then went out to run some errands. When I returned, my phone was no where to be found, and our shovel was on the floor, muddy and wet. I then discovered my 6-year old son had buried my "dead" 200$ palmpilot because he had felt sorry for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 637

You deserved it 7 021

Today, I saw some pretty heinous graffiti on the urinal stall at school, so I opted to scribble it out. A supervisor came in the second the pen touched the stall. Now I have detention and have to scrub the entire stall clean as a "lesson". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 377

You deserved it 1 695