Nearly FMLs

By Mushman - 27/02/2016 02:05 - United States - Edison

Today I saved up and pre-ordered the new Samsung Galaxy S7. 2 hours later I lost my current phone. I either have to go 2 weeks without a phone or not eat for a couple of days and buy a used phone. I desperately need a real job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By not the mc - 27/02/2016 02:05 - United States - King George

Today, I am so socially awkward that I am literally sitting alone in the dark so I can avoid having to talk to people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By OPGDivinity - 27/02/2016 02:04 - United States - Tempe

Today,while on a field trip for ROTC the bus driver was about to start the bus I passed a fart so small and silent I thought it would even be smelled, I was wrong the bus driver ended up evacuating the bus for 5 minutes the smell was so bad. While I laughed historically, everyone knew it was me, FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Shiv - 27/02/2016 02:02 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, I went to go meet my girlfriend's parents. The first thing they said was "You said you were going to marry a handsome young man with a well paying job. Who's this twat?" I stayed there anyway, but I think her parents convinced her to not see me anymore, because she won't talk to me anymore.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By CalixQyu - 27/02/2016 02:00 - United States - Houston

Today, a family of hostile raccoons moved into my attic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By A Shiv - 27/02/2016 01:52 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, I learned I have a brother. I also learned that he has been in jail for attempted murder. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anonymouscase - 27/02/2016 01:50 - Canada - Fredericton

Today, I had to tell my mother in law to shut her mouth or leave. she's completely homophobic and wouldn't stop talking about how it's wrong to be gay. I'm bisexual, my sister is gay, and I'm pretty sure my step son is aswell. her grandson. God help us all the day he comes out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Trama1201 - 27/02/2016 01:50 - United States

Today, while taking a test I easily breezed through the questions and began to flip to the other side, only to have my teacher looked at my answers, smile and whisper "complete sentences". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 01:40 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, I went to my step dad's house after I got off work early. Eager to finally have some free time, I raced upstairs. There, I found my step dad peeking through the hole in the bathroom door, watching my sixteen year old sister get out of the shower.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By whygrandpawhy - 27/02/2016 01:39 - United States

Today, while sitting in the living room, my grandpa said "Doesn't your grandma look sexy with her hair curled? She's lucky you're here right now." They're 65. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Well That's Gross - 27/02/2016 01:35 - United States

Today, my 9 month old decided to pull my hair, after playing with the shit in his diaper. It was 3 hours before I could take a shower. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Dawgchrle - 27/02/2016 01:25 - United States - Davenport

Today, I got fired for not improving enough at my job. I was still in training. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By feelingthelove - 27/02/2016 01:13 - United States - Flower Mound

Today, I came out to my parents as gay. My mom had the exact same reaction as when I told her my friend had cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By TheGamingGamer - 27/02/2016 01:13 - United States

Today, my daughter decided that if the stove setting was "off", it wouldn't be hot. Needless to say, we're now in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By lonely lesbian - 27/02/2016 01:09 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I was going to kiss the girl I have been going out on dates with for several weeks (I paid for EVERYTHING). As i leaned in she admitted that she wasn't actually gay and the only reason she treated me the way she did was because her "boyfriend thinks lesbians are hot". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By "Screwing"withmymind - 27/02/2016 01:04 - United States - Lowville

Today, my parents randomly decided that I should no longer be playing video games despite many long days where I don't get any relaxation at all. I was pretty pissed so I was searching for my controller and let's just say I found out some very unwanted details about the kinks my parents are into FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By notthefavorite - 27/02/2016 01:03 - United States - San Antonio

Today, my mom came into town. I haven't talked to her since Christnas because of the way she treats my husband and my father. The first thing she says is "I see you're still married that piece of shit." Then she asked why I don't talk to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 00:50 - United States - Orlando

Today, after warming up for a race to raise awareness for secondary bone cancer, when I tripped and broke my leg. Now I'm in the hospital and was just diagnosed with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By supercalifragilisticexpialidocious - 27/02/2016 00:33 - United States - Abington

Today, I got things started and was about to have sex with my wife. What ended up happening instead was her looking up Mary Poppins songs and watching the movie. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By couchcat - 27/02/2016 00:25 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, my father just went on a rant in which he yelled about how America is in a downfall because of Muslims and only Trump can save us. I'm so sorry world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By CalixQyu - 27/02/2016 00:17 - United States - Houston

Today, my little brother got caught watching porn on the family's computer and my mom put a Web Guard on it. This Web Guard blocks tons of websites I use including the one I use for my online homework. They're major grades and my mom won't take it off, and i'm going to fail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 00:09 - United States - Norfolk

Today, my sister-in-law and I tried to make tuna helper for dinner. Instead of a delicious meal, we ended up finding bones and fish scales. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 00:01 - United States - San Pedro

My roomate/best girlfriend works from home. My toddler was banging on a drum so I opened her bedroom door to ask if he was being too loud. She was masterbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By OnlyKayleah - 26/02/2016 23:56 - United States - Cedar Falls

Today, my cat stuck her tail in my scented wax heater. I had to cut the wax out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By row mm, balcony - 26/02/2016 23:47 - United States - King George

Today, I waited for ages on a website to buy tickets for a concert, and managed to score the best seats in my price range. I then made a typo in my credit card information and the site made me start all over again. I lost the seats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By couchpotatoee - 26/02/2016 23:42 - United States - Brandon

Today, my friends told me it was character day at my school for spirit week. It wasn't character day. It wasn't even spirit week. I got laughed at all day for being dressed up as the pink power ranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By gonzothegreat - 26/02/2016 23:19 - United States - Aurora

Today, my wife explained to me that because I desire sex at least 2-3 times a week, I'm a sex addict. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By MikaykayUnicorn - 26/02/2016 23:07 - United States - Irving

Today, a woman asked me why I'm so fat. When I told her it's because of my hyperactive enlarged thyroid which makes it hard to lose weight, she called me a liar. She then asked why my neck is so fat. Well lady, that would be my enlarged thyroid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Ohwho - 26/02/2016 22:48 - Tunisia - Tunis

Today, my mom woke me up in the middle of the night after a long day of work just to ask me if I am sleeping or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By freyday - 26/02/2016 22:47 - United States - Seattle

Today, I met up with my deadbeat dad for the first time in 6 years, per the request of my grandma. The first thing he said when I saw him was, "Well she's got some big knockers!" Thanks dad. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, after three weeks of my boss telling me how much he appreciates my hard work and has submitted my name up for a promotion, he called me into his office to announce I'm being laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 180

You deserved it 2 356

Today, at work, I was talking to a customer. She kept shaking her head "no" at everything I said. I asked what she was disagreeing with. She told me she has Parkinson's Disease, teared up, and asked to speak to my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 655

You deserved it 7 519

Today, my coworker left a tiny mess in the break room. I cleaned it up and jokingly said, "Your mother isn't here to clean up after you." She started crying. I forgot her mom died last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 1 296

Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 137

You deserved it 30 398

Today, at the age of 14, my neck, back, and feet take turns setting themselves on fire if I stand up for too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 99

Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 203

You deserved it 2 084