Nearly FMLs

By TheGamingGamer - 10/03/2016 03:55 - United States

Today, I lost an art contest. What did I lose to? A Dick. A very detailed dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By elizacandle - 10/03/2016 03:54 - United States - La Jolla

Today, The guy I've been seeing finally texted me first....to tell me he'd tested positive for chlamydia. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By MEGALADON99 - 10/03/2016 03:49 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I found out that the girl who I've liked for 3 years, who is also the girl I spend copious amounts of money on, is lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By k-low - 10/03/2016 03:46 - United States - Columbia

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he doesn't want to continue having sex with me since that would be viewed upon as cheating on his future wife. Guess I know where I stand. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By marydrunasky23 - 10/03/2016 03:45 - United States - Middleton

Today, after 3 years of over coming my eating disorder I was called fat and that I'd crush the coworker I like by another coworker who was recently hired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By heismygem - 10/03/2016 03:44 - United States

Today, I was informed by my sister in law that my now ex-fiance and father of my son slept with his best friends sister last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By xoxo - 10/03/2016 03:35 - United States - Beaver

Today, my dad's girlfriend made up a bunch of shit about me for the sole purpose of making me look bad and her daughter look good. FML

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You deserved it 0

By nails too long - 10/03/2016 03:34 - United States - Cupertino

Today at school, my friend told me he'd give me $5 if I grabbed some girl's hand. I agreed not knowing the big deal. The second I touched her wrist, her hand lunged for the back of my hand, her nails sinking in. She hit three veins causing me to bleed like a fountain. He knew this would happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By dreamdiva14 - 10/03/2016 03:30 - United States - Brewster

Today, My little cousin told me he was scared to grow up and cried for at least 10 minutes. I then asked him why he was scared his words were and o quote " I don't want to end up like you"! Well that makes me feel good. FML

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You deserved it 0

By I know the owner - 10/03/2016 03:29 - United States - Cupertino

Today while working as a cashier a girl came up to me and wanted a discount. After refusing to give her it, she threatened to call the owner of the company because she "knew him personally" to get me fired. I figured it was a scam and told her to go ahead. Turns out she wasn't lying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By I_Am_Harley_Crazy - 10/03/2016 03:12 - United States - Ware

Today, when I was digging through an unpacked box with almost no light I found something that was crunchy and yet fuzzy and tried to figured out what it was. Turns out I was holding a mummified mouse in my hand for a good 60 seconds. FML

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You deserved it 0

By LMAO__no - 10/03/2016 03:01 - United States - South Bend

Today, I came out as polyamorous to my spouse. He said "maybe you should go see a therapist and hope it goes away, because that's a disgusting and wrong way to be." I wish it was that easy to get rid of. FML

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You deserved it 0

By sastgamer - 10/03/2016 03:01 - United States - Brainerd

Today, my friend got very angry at me for "giving them the strep throat I had last week." They live on the other side of the country and we have never met in person. FML

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You deserved it 0

By fatty - 10/03/2016 02:52 - United States - Akron

Today, I hit a new low while trying to be healthy. I had to stop running and exercising because my large thighs created such a friction, they made each other bleed. So much for losing weight! Fml

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By alia_blue - 10/03/2016 02:46 - United States - Elizabethtown

Today, I found out that the lab report I'm working on is supposed to include about 5x more data than I collected. It's due tomorrow morning. FML

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You deserved it 0

By Ihateschool - 10/03/2016 02:39 - United States - San Francisco

Today, While I was at school I started my period. Bad news. I was in gym and the floors are white. Long story short, sent to the emergency room for bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By how old do I look? - 10/03/2016 02:25 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while visiting a presidential library, there were many elementary schools on a field trip. Half way into the library, I got yelled at by 2 security officers asking why I'm not with my class. I'm 19 years old. FML

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You deserved it 0

By That_Poor_Woman - 10/03/2016 02:05 - United States - Iowa Park

Today, My friend and I saw a woman who had some sort of leg injury and walked with a cane. My friend told me that she was "Probably faking to get attention". To prove this theory, he ran up to her and grabbed her cane. She wasn't faking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By nokidstoday - 10/03/2016 02:00 - United Kingdom - Worcester

Today, my girlfriend came over for dinner with my parents and the topic of children arose. My mom told my girlfrind "Oh no, he'll never be giving you children." I'm sterile. I hadn't told her yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By ItchyandBitchy - 10/03/2016 01:47 - United States - Saginaw

Today, I noticed bug bites all over my body. Looked up the bites online, then ran to my room to check my bedding. Dear God no. Bedbugs. Two weeks ago, a very scummy couple moved into the apartment next to mine and threw out a bunch of their stuff, including furniture. I wonder why. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Nordrag - 10/03/2016 01:47 - United States - Red Oak

Today, I started working for my aunt. She offered me better pay and steadier hours than my previous job. But after her 10th rant about how Muslims and gays are ruining America, I'm not sure taking this job was the right move. FML

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You deserved it 0

By MicKeyMon - 10/03/2016 01:36 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boyfriend touched my boob. It was the first sign of intimacy in the past few weeks aside from a kiss here and there. Unfortunately, it turned out he was just trying to get my cigarettes from my breast pocket. FML

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You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 10/03/2016 01:28 - United States - Durham

Today, I finally had the courage to tell the boy I've liked for the last 6 months I like him. Today was also the day he decided to confess to me who he liked. It wasn't me. Not even close. I broke up with my boyfriend for this guy because I thought he liked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 10/03/2016 01:28 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, I'm leaving for an extended work trip. When I asked my boyfriend if he'd miss me, he shrugged and said "Nah. more video games for me!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By OnToTheNext.... - 10/03/2016 01:18 - United States

Today, I absentmindedly picked a booger at a stop light after coming back from a date, only to look over and see my date in the car next to me, with a look of absolute revulsion on his face. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By kittykittyrun - 10/03/2016 01:15 - Canada - Yarmouth

Today, my mother confessed to having an affair. I've had to sit through them talking about their sex life and lack thereof for hours. FML

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You deserved it 0

By PuckYouToTheFace - 10/03/2016 00:53 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I realised that I take shits that are bigger than my boyfriends erect penis. FML

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You deserved it 0

By OnlySkyrimStays - 10/03/2016 00:17 - United Kingdom - Frome

Today, I had a nightmare-in-a-nightmare that Trump became both President of the USA and Prime Minister of the UK. I then dreamed I woke up next to him. FML.

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You deserved it 0

By smalltits - 10/03/2016 00:13 - United States - Billings

Today, my boyfriend was playing some games and I had been laying down next to him on the couch, naked, legs spread, waiting for him to get done. The door opens and his friend walked in. He had invited him over for a few rounds of COD, and he saw me and said, "wait her tits are that small?" FML.

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You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 10/03/2016 00:12 - United States - Modesto

Today, my crush of over 5 months called me her "best friend." When I told my friends, they laughed, and said I was too ugly for her anyways. FML

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You deserved it 0

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my boyfriend called and said he was stopping by to talk. I didn't understand why he would stop by, so I asked if he was going to break up with me, he said no. Half an hour later, he knocked on my door to break up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 154

You deserved it 5 757

Today, I had my eyebrows waxed for my senior pictures. After manhandling me, the cosmetologist managed to "accidentally" take my whole eyebrow off. It looks like I'll be remembered forevermore as the girl with one eyebrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 241

You deserved it 3 293

Today, at a party, I tried to play it cool by pretending to know all the lyrics to a song, but ended up singing the wrong words and embarrassing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 1 062

Today, my mother was over visiting. My three year old ran out of my room chasing the cat with his toy. He smacked the cat with it, the cat scratched him, he dropped it and ran away. I was busy with the baby so I asked my mom to take the toy away. She walked back holding my pink dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 079

You deserved it 12 207

Today, two years after my toxic and self-centered ex-wife left me, I got remarried, but I feel like it broke my trust in people, which I used to. I now feel I don’t do enough for my present; I do better than most and have got more than average people, but I'm still too hurt and depressed to be normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 213

Today, my mother showed up to pick something up from my house. I was sleeping and before I knew it she was in my bedroom, jumping on my bed, saying hi to my ex-girlfriend who she thought was with me. It wasn't my ex, and I doubt that girl will ever want to hang out again after that awkward morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 304

You deserved it 207