Nearly FMLs

By Sick Puppy - 10/03/2016 07:17 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I woke up with a fever and barely made it through my 12-hour day without collapsing. I have the biggest test of the term tomorrow, and two more the day after, along with worksheets and projects. I can barely stop my head from spinning long enough to read a single line, let alone study. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 10/03/2016 07:03 - United States - Gilbert

Today, after moving out of my apartment ridden with bed bugs, throwing out thousands of dollars worth of furniture, and moving back in with my parents. I washed my sheets and killed 4 bedbugs on my brand new mattress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Int. Teacher - 10/03/2016 06:59 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, a kid bought me a note to excuse her from PE. I got really mad and gave her detention for trying to forge a note. In my explanation I said "there is no way this was written by an adult. It's full of spelling mistakes and the handwriting is awful." 1 very angry Mum shows how wrong I was fml.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By JD134 - 10/03/2016 06:31 - United States

Today, I discovered that my 90 I scored on a test was dropped to a 70 because I didn't show enough work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anon - 10/03/2016 06:15 - Australia - Cairns

Today, at University I got explosive diarrhea right before my 2 hour exam which counts for 50% of my grade. My lecture wont let me re-sit it FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By ohdeargodpleasestop - 10/03/2016 06:10 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my boss told me about her dildo collection. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By teddyteddy - 10/03/2016 05:31 - United States - Harlan

Today, I had a customer come through my line that was really rude. No matter what I had to keep smiling and be nice to her. She told me I was being too nice and was too happy to be working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By DEMOTED - 10/03/2016 05:26 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, Karma bit me in the butt. 2 Months ago I completely forgot my daughters birthday because I had gotten a promotion at work and was too occupied with my new management position. Today I got demoted for being preoccupied with the fact that my daughter hasn't and refuses to talk to me since. FMl

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By extrasloppyseconds - 10/03/2016 05:26 - United States - West Warwick

Today, while downloading something on my moms phone for her, she got a message. I went to her inbox where two conversations popped up. They were from my two ex boyfriends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 10/03/2016 05:15 - United States - Denver

Today, I decided to eat a Reese's. To my surprise, it didn't taste very good. When I checked the expiration date, I saw that it had expired in 2014. Apparently, while my mom cleaned out the pantry, she threw away the new bag of Reese's instead of the old one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By soontobestripper - 10/03/2016 05:03 - United States - Dublin

Today, when I got home from work. My dad asked how my day was. I told him work was long and I needed to go do my laundry. He informed me that he did it for me. Oh he did it alright. He put $500 worth of hand washed and line dry only clothes through the washer and dryer. They are crop tops now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By areyounuts - 10/03/2016 05:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, one of my friends told me my mostly vegetarian diet is unhealthy and processed. Her dinner was 75% thick and goopy cheese. I'm sorry, isn't that processed? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Xi_Quin - 10/03/2016 05:01 - United States - Holton

Today, I laid my 19 month old son in his bed for a nap. After 15 minutes of silence I heard him start giggling. He had removed his shirt, pants, and diaper and was peeing on his stuffed animals on the floor next to his crib.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Krinos - 10/03/2016 04:55 - United States - Ladera Ranch

Today, I came home from school only to find that my cat had left some dead animal's bloody organs in front of my door that it didn't want to eat. When I went to get paper towels from the kitchen cupboard to clean it up with, I saw yet another pile of guts in front of my back door as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Walmartian2015 - 10/03/2016 04:53 - United States - Greensboro

Today, I was taking my son to the car when I tripped over our dog. My son hit his head on the concrete and I busted my elbow and knees up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 10/03/2016 04:46 - United States - Mountain View

Today, I realized how unhappy I really am when a teacher pointed me out for "packing up early", when I was actually setting some paper aside. The accusation shocked so much that I nearly cried and even contemplated suicide for the next hour and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 10/03/2016 04:46 - Australia

Today, I was serving my son's friends at his birthday party, a mother said her kid was deathly allergic to nuts but I assured her that there was no nuts, when the kid took a bite he started swelling, turns out my husband added nuts "for texture". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By sadfingers - 10/03/2016 04:45 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was fingering my girlfriend with an episode of Law and Order SVU playing in the background. I thought I was doing good until she made me stop so she could pay attention to who the killer was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymist - 10/03/2016 04:41 - United States - O Fallon

Today, after two years of recording my awful singing as a joke, I realised that they've all been automatically uploading online for anyone to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By KneeJerker - 10/03/2016 04:37 - United States

Today, I was showing my mom a photo on my computer. She and I both liked it, so I saved it. She definitely saw the fetish porn I didn't know I had in my downloads folder, which popped up when I saved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By thisdoesnotaddup - 10/03/2016 04:37 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I received my graded calculus test and saw that I had received only half credit on a question that I answered correctly. My TA also noticed that all my work was right, so I asked my professor to look at my test. His response: "I'm not changing your grade. Your answer was too easy." What? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By raginglesbian - 10/03/2016 04:35 - United States - Billings

Today, my mom had sent me a package including some condoms, a dildo, and a subscription so some hot guys daily website. She knows I am a lesbian. I had to shamefully walk into Walmart and return all of this, with my girlfriend. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By AHarke - 10/03/2016 04:35

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years texted me and said "let's just be friends". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 10/03/2016 04:31 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I announce my pregnancy to my parents and siblings. They all reacted so well they were able to convince me to tell my grandmother, after she thought she'd hung up I heard her start talking crap about to my grandfather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By karma is a bitch - 10/03/2016 04:29 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, while picking up my friends son I was rear ended. It's been six hours and not only am I in agony but my car is messed up. So much for good karma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By FujisakiChihiro - 10/03/2016 04:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out that my town is the reason why Donald Trump won the primary elections for my state. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Save me... - 10/03/2016 04:04 - United States - Penfield

Today, after working for 3 hours on my biggest paper yet, instead if sharing it, I deleted it... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By theoldman - 10/03/2016 04:02 - United States - Cambridge

Today, my fiancée and I were having sex. I was deep into it (physically and mentally) when my girlfriend starts quietly chanting to the beat of my thrusts, "do not fart, do not fart, do not fart." Instant mood killer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Camry_Girl420 - 10/03/2016 03:58 - United States

Today, my dog attacked my boob at at 5am all because my husband placed his hand over it. The teeth marks have gone but a bruise remains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By jessicant23 - 10/03/2016 03:58 - United States - Utica

Today, my mother in law wants me to take my name off of my baby shower invites because half his family hasn't met me yet. I'm having his child in 3 months and have been together for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I flirted and swapped numbers with an attractive married man. Later, when I texted him, he sent me a picture of Jesus and blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 1 898

Today, I bought professional hair clippers to shave down below, thinking it would be safer than using a razor. Let's just say the bathroom now looks like a murder scene, and it's going to be a while before I have sex again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 735

You deserved it 12 651

Today, I woke up as usual, got dressed as usual, and went to work as usual. After a few hours, however, I found out that my shirt was completely see-through. Only 6 more hours to go in a predominantly male office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 974

You deserved it 1 073

Today, I was accused of being high. Why? Because I was playing with a milk bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 980

You deserved it 5 290

Today, I got a gift from my wife. It was a beautiful watch. The same exact watch I'd sold to our local jewelers for 6k. She bought it for 10k. When I told her, she said, "Hmmm, I thought it looked familiar." There goes 4K from our joint account. I could’ve thought of 4000 ways to spend that money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 690

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 626

You deserved it 4 235