Nearly FMLs

By thechosenone - 10/03/2016 21:35 - United States - Houston

Today, I finally got my test results back after a week of casual dismissal. I have herpes. I've only ever had sexual interaction with one person and he was tested clean before me. Where did I go wrong? FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Gman - 10/03/2016 21:32 - United States - Hobart

Today, I wa

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 2

By cutycat136 - 10/03/2016 21:30 - Canada - Fredericton

Today, my friend freaked out and left because I always choose my boyfriend over her and she is done with it. I don't even have a boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Erick - 10/03/2016 21:16 - United States - Seattle

Today, my girlfriend came and kissed me for longer than usual. i thought this was nice, until i found the video she sent me of her giving my son head not 20 minutes before i got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 10/03/2016 21:16 - United States - Oswego

Today, I had a dream that my boyfriend hooked up with my best friend from high school. When I told him about it, he responded with "well, to make sure that doesn't happen, you shouldn't invite her over." FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 10/03/2016 21:14 - United States

Today, I lost the apartment I had been working my ass off to get because I turned in the application an hour late. I understand that these things happen, but because of my sister and her new dude screwing me over I'm homeless starting Saturday. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By alysssa_t01 - 10/03/2016 20:51 - Canada - Richmond

Today, where I'm from is going through an epic wind storm (90 winds). When driving to work there was a tree blocking the road, as I tried to back up another tree fell behind me and trapped me on the road. I then continued to walk 2 hours in the heavy pouring rain to work. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By AuroIsEmo - 10/03/2016 20:50 - United States - Richardson

Today, I learned my best friends mom thinks I'm gay. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 10/03/2016 20:24 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, in cl

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 2

By chub-rub - 10/03/2016 20:05 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, I ran half a mile up a hill so I wouldn't miss class. I made it there in a sweaty mess with my thighs raw from rubbing against each other, only to read a note on the door that informed me of the last-minute cancellation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By pollypockets12 - 10/03/2016 20:00 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, my husband has the shits so bad that he waited until he was off of work and at home to use the bathroom. I can hear it through the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Bawsack - 10/03/2016 19:57 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, I got a new memorial tattoo done for my Granda who passed away last year. After designing it from scratch and going in for a consultation with several artists before deciding on one who would do a good job, I decided on one who seemed great and who has done me before. It's upside down. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By In need of friends - 10/03/2016 19:51 - United States - Towson

Today, I've realized that all my friends make fun of what I do, wear, or say. But don't worry guys, my feelings don't really matter cause I'm a "terrorist". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By sleepy - 10/03/2016 19:38 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep at work. I was woken up by 6 screaming cops busting in with guns pointing at me... Apparently I hit the store's panic button in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By bluestripedsockm - 10/03/2016 19:35 - United States - Fontana

Today I burnt myself while making breakfast. Instead of asking if I was okay, my mother lectured me about cleaning the kitchen properly after I was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By WD_Stevens - 10/03/2016 18:40 - Australia - Hampton Park

Today, I was sitting in front of a group of drunk guys on the bus. Seconds after hearing an "uh-oh", a stream of liquid came trickling past me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 10/03/2016 18:24 - Canada - Burnaby

Today, I got a phone call from a one night stand, seems she gave me herpes and I gave her a baby, not sure which will break faster, the condom, or my neck when my wife finds out. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 3

By awesomelosergirl - 10/03/2016 17:54

Today, I was going to break up with my boyfriend because he's always with another girl instead of me. The day he asked me out he said this "there's the door, wanna go out?" Turns out he was waiting for me to leave so he can stop holding the door for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 2

By PissedUkieGirl - 10/03/2016 17:37 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, on the anniversary of the Holodomor (Ukrainian genocide), a drunk Russian dickbag lectured me on how the Ukraine should just join Russia and give up our roots to join his "superior" culture and godlike leader, Putin. Then he hit on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 10/03/2016 17:23 - United States - Gulfport

Today, I was in Walmart and passed a few gorgeous girls. I work out a lot and always wear gym clothes. I saw them look at me and smiled until one of them said, "Look at the shitter on that critter!". FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By avenue24 - 10/03/2016 17:05 - United States - New Paltz

Today, I was telling a classmate how in one of my theatre classes, we had to go up 100 feet into the theatre's loft area. I'm terrified of heights, & I joked, "I was so scared, I nearly pooped myself." Then I remembered him telling me in the past about how he has IBS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 10/03/2016 17:05 - United States - Bridgeport

Today, I was out in public and someone waved at me, on instinct I waved back only yo notice it was my EX and she was waving at her new boyfriend who was behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 10/03/2016 17:02 - United States - Fishers

Today, I saw my mother for the first time in 10 years. Naked. Sleeping with my fiancée. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Butters789 - 10/03/2016 16:45 - United States - Hilliard

Today, I finally got a chance to go on a date with a girl I really like. I decided to take her out to a nearby lake for a picnic. Minutes into our date we saw some bum shitting in the lake. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By hplolliepop241 - 10/03/2016 16:25 - United States - Silverton

I saw my friend crying, so I told her everything would be okay. She replied that one of her two cats had a brain tumor and the vet put the cat down yesterday. I told her at least she still has a cat. She said the vet had put down the wrong cat, and is coming back today to put down the right one.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By VowelMovement - 10/03/2016 15:51 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, after recently getting a haircut, I noticed something about my hair. I think the stylist must have forgot what she was doing halfway through, because the hair on the right side of my head is more than twice as long as the hair on the left side of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By noholiday - 10/03/2016 15:29 - Belgium - Zolder

Today, after saving months for a snowboarding holiday, i got sick. The first time of beeing sick in over 3 years. my friends leave tomorrow night, i don't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By heythereyalll - 10/03/2016 14:35

Today, I finally broke off an abusive friendship with this girl who was very manipulative. But I soon realized that the only reason I kept her around for so long is because she was actually the only person that would hang out with me and talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 10/03/2016 14:33 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today I walked in on my boyfriend masterbating to a picture of my mother. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Shotugwilly - 10/03/2016 14:29 - Canada - Toronto

Today my wife is back in the hospital for the 6 time with complication from surgery she had in January. Starting to wish we never agreed to have the operation done in the first place now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

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The Top

Today, I told my mom she made me feel unloved my whole life. She called my sister and apologized. FML

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You deserved it 83

Today, I moved fifteen stacks of bricks from our store to a customer's van. After I made all that effort, he decided he didn't like the colour of the bricks after all, and demanded a full refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 085

You deserved it 3 581

Today, I was giving a talk in class, when halfway through someone pointed out that my pubes were sticking out my trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 928

You deserved it 15 378

Today, while working in a call center at a university, someone threatened to report me to the President of the University because "I" wouldn't accept their daughter who had a 1.5 GPA and "got accepted into Harvard". I don't even make the decisions, I just answer calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 170

You deserved it 3 785

Today, my mother, who religiously checks her bank account after every purchase, then shreds her receipts, got fed up with me not doing the same. So she shredded all my piled up receipts. These include the 100s of dollars I had spent for my work, which I need the receipts to get reimbursed for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 359

You deserved it 3 322

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

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You deserved it 3 741