Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 17/03/2016 22:12 - Canada - Welland

Today, I had an afternoon sociology class. It being St Paddie's today, of course half the class was totally hammered, and they were all making so much ruckus that the prof had to stop the class. I paid 10 grand to be here, and I get screwed by frat losers. Crap like this happens all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 17/03/2016 22:06 - United States - Phoenix

Today, and for the past week, I've been on painkillers after surgery. One of them stopped my period. The other made me bleed when I "go". Essentially my period came out my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 17/03/2016 21:43 - United States - West Covina

Today, I woke up from a nap and went to the bathroom. I was about to floss when I noticed something black on my tooth. Upon looking closer, I realized it was a dead ant. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By ladymunchkin742 - 17/03/2016 20:57 - United States

Today, I went to a park with a little girl I was babysitting. I told her earlier if she was good I'd take her to get ice cream. She decided to tell another kid very loudly that if they followed me I'd get them ice cream. The kids began to attack me and their parents thought I was a kidnapper. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By HelpMe - 17/03/2016 20:44 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I walked out of my room in shorts. My dad made me bend over with my ass in his face to see if too much skin was showing. I sat there and cried while he spent 20 minutes deciding. Help. Me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By happy st patricks day - 17/03/2016 20:35 - United States - Renton

Today, I pinched a "friend" for not wearing green. He responded by punching me in the stomach and knocking the spirit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By FMLQUEEN - 17/03/2016 20:33 - United States - Panama City

Today, my mom told my dad I have depression and anxiety and that I needed help. My dad's response? "get a job!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By tooexcited - 17/03/2016 20:22 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I was so excited to donate blood to help others. I ended up fainting before I entered the room and wasn't even close to donating my blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By saskuni - 17/03/2016 20:21 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, my parents let me know I was adopted by giving me a Guinness and telling me to "have a drink on the day of your people." Neither of my parents have any Irish lineage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By mylemoon26 - 17/03/2016 20:10 - United States - New Castle

Today, my mom screamed at me over grades, I have an essay due tomorrow, tripped and fell down stairs, and today is the 11th anniversary of my dads death. Happy St Patrick's everybody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By karahleighanne - 17/03/2016 19:59 - United States - Rock Hill

Today, My boyfriend, after his teacher lets him out early, decides to call me while I'm still in class. So my phone rings in class and my professor is in the middle of telling us a story and how his wife broke up with him whule listening to their song. guess what my boyfriend's ringtone is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By I had no idea - 17/03/2016 19:59 - United States

Today, as I was leaving for school, I noticed my dad was still home, so I jokingly asked "don't you have work or something, ya bum?" He was laid off yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Lane - 17/03/2016 19:47 - Antigua and Barbuda

Today, the water company I have worked with for the past 5 years, damaged my main pipe, causing my home furniture and appliances to get destroyed because of the excessive flooding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By still unemployed - 17/03/2016 19:40 - United States - Modesto

Today, I went to a important job interview. It is too bad the interview was yesterday. I have been unemployed for 3 years. The interviewer changed the date 3 times in our face to face conversation and their was no writing utensils present. Now he is non responsive to all contact I attempt. FML!

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By AlyssaMiranda123 - 17/03/2016 19:32 - United States - Sunbury

Today, I was crying because I had a 3rd friend of mine commit suicide two nights ago. That was the 3rd one just this year alone. My brother then proceeded to tell me to stop being a bitch and they all probably hated me anyway, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anon - 17/03/2016 19:21 - United States - Massapequa

Today, at school a kid punched me in the back of the head causing me to pass out for five seconds. When I woke up he said "Oh sorry wrong guy" then laughed and walked away FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By HitlersNeice - 17/03/2016 19:12 - United States - Brattleboro

Today, I accidentally fell asleep in the bathtub. My psycho mom decided the best way to wake me up would be dropping my cat in the water. Thanks mom, I've always loved the look of crying blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 17/03/2016 19:12 - United States - Zionsville

I was once again harassed for "under aged drinking" when shopping at the grocery store. I'm 25 years old and I'm constantly mistaken for being so young that strangers feel the need to lecture me.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By flashgone - 17/03/2016 18:56 - United States - Warrensburg

Today, While at the dentist, getting my teeth cleaned, the "dentist" numbed my mouth thinking I was another patient. Now I have a numb face for the next 2 hours all because I wanted to get my teeth cleaned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 17/03/2016 18:42 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I opened my laptop in the train to watch a good film I had downloaded. Of course, it was a fake and the whole carriage was allowed to watch and hear five seconds of butt licking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 17/03/2016 18:40 - Netherlands - Ottersum

Today, I scratched my boyfriends back. He moaned louder than when he does when we're having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By duckman9 - 17/03/2016 18:30 - Switzerland

Today, to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, I was dying my clothes green to prepare for a party. Too bad I had a small accident, and ended up painting the entire apartment green. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 17/03/2016 18:29 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I realized that my ex has REALLY dumped me for a video game. And he will not change his mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By FlyingKatt - 17/03/2016 18:29 - United States - Powder Springs

Today, I realized all my friends only talk to me because of my best friend. I actually thought they liked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By UnluckyOnTheLuckiestDay - 17/03/2016 18:28 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I got so excited that the neighborhood cat came over to me that I forgot I had my phone in my hand. After two years drop free, the top half of my screen is currently scotch taped. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By SamW2469 - 17/03/2016 18:16 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I caught my brother eating his boogers. He tried to argue with me by saying that he was really stuffy and he didn't have anywhere else to put them. I think I'm gonna throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By SixthSinEnvy - 17/03/2016 18:04 - United States

Today, I was shouted at by a woman for "being rude to her daughters." I only told them that the polite thing to do when a bathroom stall is locked is to knock, not crawl under the divider from the next stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Gabryl1312 - 17/03/2016 17:55 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I just realized that I don't have enough money to file my tax return to get my money from my tax return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By imsick - 17/03/2016 17:51 - United States

Today, I wasn't invited to a math competition by my teachers because last year I declined for it because I was very sick. I wanted to do it this year because it would be a great experience and great for college. My teachers apparently thought I am sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By monstercat - 17/03/2016 17:50 - United States

Today, I found out my mom is a hardcore fan of Nickleback. I'm in the car with her for 8 hours and she won't play anything else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 932

You deserved it 9 253

Today, my eldest daughter announced she was getting divorced. She never even told me she was married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 696

You deserved it 2 342

Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 745

You deserved it 3 438

Today, I found out my school's financial aid had a "misunderstanding" of my finances, I can no longer afford to pay half of my bills or pay for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 733

You deserved it 258

Today, I walked into my room and watched as my fanatically religious mother sniffed the used tissues in my trash bin to make sure I wasn't masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 656

You deserved it 2 245

Today, my son was at a birthday party. After eating a plate of cake, he loudly asked the birthday boy's mum if he could have sloppy seconds. I don't know where he heard that phrase, but the other kids' parents shot me very dirty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 040

You deserved it 3 308