Nearly FMLs

By honestly ugh - 18/03/2016 06:13 - Australia - Acacia Ridge

Today, I went for a job interview I was really excited about. After the interviewer asked my name, they informed me that they were meant to reject my application and messed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 18/03/2016 06:01 - Mexico - Mexicali

Today, I learned that one of my friends convinced his family that I am Chinese. I am Mexican. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By <3 broken - 18/03/2016 05:48 - United States - Pensacola

Today, I find myself blocked on every social media site from my ex. She decided after a year of dating, looking at engagement rings, and even planning the wedding, she doesn't "like me anymore". After investing a year into a relationship with her, she doesn't want me around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By dashofw - 18/03/2016 05:43 - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, I realized that I give the equivalent of a luxury car a year in tuition to a college who's wifi can't stay connected for more than 7 minutes at a time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By birthday yay - 18/03/2016 05:22 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, my Mother uninvited me to a birthday party as the most popular guy would not come if I was going. Whose birthday party was it suppose to be? Me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Mother Nature - 18/03/2016 05:20 - United States

Today, my boyfriend pointed out a make-up stain on his bed sheet and I promised to get some cleaner and get the stain out. I didn't have the heart to tell him that the stain was actually blood from my period. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By bbonbonxx3 - 18/03/2016 04:58 - United States - Commack

Today, my boss told me that the only reason that guys are nice to me is because they want to get in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By hornytoad - 18/03/2016 04:51 - United States

Today, I am so sex starved that while watching Shrek, I got a boner thinking about how I would love to do Fiona. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By greene1326 - 18/03/2016 04:48 - Canada - Brantford

Today, I had to text myself from another number to make sure messages are getting through to me, as I haven't gotten one in close to a month. I figured out pretty fast that no one has even bothered to reach me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Dreemur - 18/03/2016 04:48 - United States - Broomfield

Today, I was playing with my cat and dog. I thought it would be funny to put my cat on my dogs back. They thought it would be funny to team up on me and give me stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 2

By JjfireballZ - 18/03/2016 04:21 - United States - Laguna Niguel

Today, I finally had the confidence to ask my crush out. She gave me her number to put in her phone, while typing it in I dropped her phone and broke it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By emiquick_01 - 18/03/2016 04:21 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend told me that I was his side hoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By moose - 18/03/2016 04:03 - United States - Titusville

Today, I found a homeless man passed out drunk on my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Xerian_23 - 18/03/2016 03:58 - United States - Portland

Today, I was cleaning my room and went to pick up a clump of hair, it turned out to be ä spider. I screamed until my girlfriend came and killed it. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Kelsey - 18/03/2016 03:50 - United States - Beaverton

Today, I finally got the courage to ask my crush for his number, he said yes so I started typing the number in my phone while he said it aloud. later when I decided to text him I couldn't find his contact and soon realized the number didn't save in my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By FinnThomas - 18/03/2016 03:46 - United States - Hicksville

Today, in the library, I was trying to show my friend a video for the main causes of WWI but instead clicked a link for hardcore porn that someone "mistakenly" replaced on my notes. It automatically started playing at the loudest volume and the climax of the video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By chdder - 18/03/2016 03:41 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my dad told me that he monitors my snapchat. This ended with me in a nervous break down, then him telling me that it was just a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By bestofluck_ - 18/03/2016 03:40 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I went to the mall with a friend of mine. We were in the fitting room, and I came out the door and asked my friend how I looked in this dress. Before she could even answer, a lady walked by and said "You look fat and so does your ass and thighs!" I just recently lost 25 pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 18/03/2016 03:36 - United States - New York

Today, I'm a maid at a hotel. While cleaning one of the rooms I started to smell something strange. When I realized it was coming from the sofa, I smelled one of the pillows only to realize it smelled like pussy juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By itsnotalright - 18/03/2016 03:34 - United States - Reno

Today, I broke my arm by riding my bike into a truck. It was parked. I'm such an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By 0_0 - 18/03/2016 03:29 - United States - Shakopee

Today, after going to the dentist, and 30 mins of the dentist chipping multiple teeth, she finally got up and said,"I cant do this, by the way... Im jot even a dentist". Then walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By 1739 - 18/03/2016 03:19 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, as a prank I made a pie for my roommate and when he was about to eat it, I quickly picked it up and did the old "pie to the face" joke but he got so pissed, he took a sledgehammer in the storage and smashed my new 70" TV. Roommates can be dicks sometimes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 2

By LordOfCheese - 18/03/2016 03:18 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was shaving my pubes and left without cleaning it up. After a while I came back and find the mess gone. I live alone.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Lonelychick1249 - 18/03/2016 03:17 - United States - Lima

Today, I spent most of my tax return on a gaming system for my boyfriend. His response? "Cool, thanks." And then he left with the system. I didn't even get a hug. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Biology Sucks - 18/03/2016 03:15 - United States

Today, I found out that the way I react to gruesome images is overheating, blacking out, and vomiting. I discovered this in the middle of my biology class, and ended up needing to get wheelchaired out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Oh No - 18/03/2016 03:01 - Australia - Collingwood

Today, I found out that my cat can open the toilet lid to drink from the bowl. I realised this when I caught him drinking from it and then promptly falling in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By WabbyFish - 18/03/2016 02:59 - United States

Today, while at work at a low class gas station, I walked into the ladies restroom only to witness a man receiving a blowjob from another man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Gabeee - 18/03/2016 02:55 - United States - Laconia

Today, I took a four hour bus drive along with my school to a music festival in NH. We have to stay in host families, as that is past of the experience. Unfortunately, my host is a 76 year old writer who spends his time breeding cats (which I am allergic) and throwing papers around his house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By SpitFace - 18/03/2016 02:47 - United States - Seattle

Today, I had to sit next to someone who thought they could beat-box. Keep in mind, this is a six hour class and I needed nine Kleenexes throughout the first two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By mathew56765 - 18/03/2016 02:24 - United States

Today at work, I had to go to the bathroom so bad I rushed to the men's room and peed myself as soon as I saw the urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

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The Top

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 470

You deserved it 789

Today, my roommate revealed that she's dating my ex. I later had to navigate around them caressing each other just to grab my noodles from the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 835

You deserved it 296

Today, like every month, I need to summon the courage to tell my husband that I’m on my period. When he finds out, he’s gonna go out and sleep with other women until it’s gone. He has “urges” and “needs sex every day” and if I "can’t give it to him someone else will.” I’m disabled and can’t afford to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 028

You deserved it 196

Today, I was getting frisky with my girlfriend. It was going well until we had to put our clothes back on quickly because someone was coming upstairs. It was my sister, who opened the door and said, “It smells like salami in here! Can I have some?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 103

Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 324

You deserved it 3 241

Today, while watching TV with my boyfriend, I was telling him that I wasn't looking forward to "getting older" and turning thirty in three days. Five minutes later, he said, "I never knew you had so much grey hair already" and then offered to help me dye them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 204

You deserved it 4 213