Nearly FML

By chdder - 18/03/2016 15:37 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my dad told me that he monitors my snapchat. This ended with me in a nervous break down. He then told me that he "Knows things". FML

agreeclassic 2

vote type 1 1

By Genius_Kitty - 18/03/2016 14:45 - Canada - Toronto

Today, One of my kittens had an accident. The other one decided that it was a great idea to play in it. Now I have two kittens covered in crap and a whole room full of poopy paw prints. FML

agreeclassic 2

vote type 1 1

By Anonymous - 18/03/2016 14:41 - United States

Today, I took my cat to the vet to find out he has kidney failure. While there, my house was broken into. I lost my pet and my stuff in a period of two hours. FML.

agreeclassic 2

vote type 1 1

By Alzz1234 - 18/03/2016 14:26 - Australia - Sydney

Today, at work a child came up to me and told me I look like his dad . His dad looks like Donald Trump. FML

agreeclassic 2

vote type 1 1

By Anonymous - 18/03/2016 14:16 - United States - Falls Church

Today, my son was suspended from school for sneaking up on a kissing couple and duck-taping their heads together. FML

agreeclassic 3

vote type 1 1

By Anonymous - 18/03/2016 14:02 - United States - Potsdam

Today, like every day, I had to put up with various men that I don't know calling me "sweetheart," "darling," and "ma'am." I'm a guy. FML

agreeclassic 2

vote type 1 1

By MashaV - 18/03/2016 13:59 - United States - Edison

Today, I received some bad news about a friend who was in the hospital. When I told my mother, she harshly asked be "so? why are you crying?" and told me to go cook breakfast. Then she proceeded to tell me how I'm always being mean to her. FML

agreeclassic 3

vote type 1 1

By LadyNightowl - 18/03/2016 13:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after finally getting pain killers for the horrendous pain in my jaw, I thought I would get my first real night's sleep in a week. I was wrong. I haven't slept yet, and in 3 hours, I have to get up and be Mommy to a toddler. FML

agreeclassic 2

vote type 1 1

By DEEZ - 18/03/2016 13:53 - United States - Granbury

Yesterday, I got a phone call on the way to work from my wife and she told me that my son is now cutting his self on his thigh because he's depressed. I talked with him for hours yesterday and he claims his stress is coming from him being a closet bisexual and he's afraid to tell me FML

agreeclassic 2

vote type 1 1

By The_ghetto_mango - 18/03/2016 13:34 - United States - Peculiar

Today, my dad refused to pay up on his $20 bet I wouldn't eat a ball of wasabi. I suffered an allergic reaction for that $20. FML

agreeclassic 2

vote type 1 2

By aviddreamwriter - 18/03/2016 13:02 - United States - Summerville

Today, I have a morning class. My work decided to schedule me so tightly that I barely have enough time to come home and change, nonetheless eat something. I close tonight and for the next three nights. FML

agreeclassic 2

vote type 1 1

By not worth being proud of - 18/03/2016 12:52 - Australia - Hurstville

Today, my mum made me watch a 50 minute documentary on how successful some other girl is in her studies, beginning with how she couldn't choose between Harvard or Stanford. FML

agreeclassic 2

vote type 1 1

By friendless - 18/03/2016 12:05 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was keen on going clubbing to celebrate my birthday. Once I'm ready I message some friends asking when we're leaving, only to find that they all got too drunk last night and have no intention of helping me celebrate my birthday. This is after I paid for and delivered predrinks to them. FML.

agreeclassic 2

vote type 1 1

By isquisqui - 18/03/2016 11:44 - United States - Cedar Falls

Today, I woke up in my bed at home, extremely hung over. My girlfriend was next to me. Last night, according to her, we had sex while extremely drunk. Apparently, I had repeatedly tried to "get inside her" through her belly button, and was yelling "Why won't it go in?" FML

agreeclassic 2

vote type 1 1

By Not_Ben - 18/03/2016 11:39 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, while sharing a hostel room with 7 other guys I awoke to find all 7 had managed to bring girls back. I woke up alone. FML

agreeclassic 2

vote type 1 1

By Transtorm - 18/03/2016 11:32 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, it took my clinic over 16 weeks to send my referral letter to the surgeon only to send it to the wrong place. FML

agreeclassic 2

vote type 1 1

By AnimatedJ - 18/03/2016 11:28 - United States - West Hartford

Today, While I was walking down the isle with my best friend who was getting married, I tripped fell knocking his fiance into a pond while he dove in after her losing the rings. I am now hated by both families. FML

agreeclassic 2

vote type 1 1

By ?? - 18/03/2016 11:10 - Germany

Today, as I was eating a burger at work my boss got angry at me for dropping mustard on the carpet by accident. after not being able to clean up my mess he fired me on the spot. FML

agreeclassic 2

vote type 1 1

By Rael - 18/03/2016 10:33 - United States - Clearwater

Today, I was cleaning my room and when I reached down to pick up something from the floor, I ended up grabbing a cockroach. FML

agreeclassic 2

vote type 1 1

By Anonymous - 18/03/2016 10:30 - United States

Today I hit a bird while driving. My friend claimed she saw it fly off, which calmed me down somewhat. That is...until I saw its little corpse caught in my grille. FML

agreeclassic 2

vote type 1 1

By crcouch217 - 18/03/2016 10:09 - United States - Houston

Today, my family and I were arranging family photos into albums chronologically. I somehow managed to misidentify 8 photos. It would be a little understandable if I didn't confuse my cousin and my own son's photos. FML

agreeclassic 2

vote type 1 1

By Lenora_Cain - 18/03/2016 09:29 - United States - Wylie

Today, I got in a fight with my team leader over how disgusting the restaurant we work in is. Apparently I clean too much and nobody likes me because it's rude. She sent me home and I cried in the car. When I got home I found my dog tore up my expensive comforter. FML

agreeclassic 3

vote type 1 1

By InSoMuchShit - 18/03/2016 07:53 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, my brother thought it would be funny to connect my iPhone to my Bluetooth speaker, it wouldn't of been so bad if it hadn't been for the fact that the audio from the porn I was watching started to blast from my room at midnight, causing my parents to wake up. FML

agreeclassic 2

vote type 1 2

By neveragain - 18/03/2016 07:44 - United States - Modesto

Today, I was so bored that I ate an entire jar of Nutella. Let's just say that acidic, regurgitated hazelnut spread tastes just as bad as you'd expect. FML

agreeclassic 2

vote type 1 2

By Cinderstar95 - 18/03/2016 07:26 - United States - Schererville

Today, after a stressful week of midterms, I drove the two hours home, looking forward to spring break. I wasn't in the house for five minutes before I found my cat with a severe rectal prolapse. One emergency surgery later, my spring break consists of babysitting her in my room all week. Fml

agreeclassic 3

vote type 1 1

By Billie95 - 18/03/2016 07:22 - Australia - Perth

Today, my partner and I had sex for the first time in a week. I threw my back out and can hardly move. FML

agreeclassic 2

vote type 1 1

By nohope - 18/03/2016 07:07 - Mexico

Today, I gave my girlfriend the hardest banging of her life to only find out her dad was in the condo the entire time. FML

agreeclassic 2

vote type 1 1

By anonymous - 18/03/2016 06:26 - United States - Eau Claire

Today, I found out that the man I love is living with his ex girlfriend who also happens to be his son's mother. But insists that they haven't been a couple for quite a while before we started seeing each other. FML.

agreeclassic 2

vote type 1 1

By MedChew - 18/03/2016 06:18 - Malaysia

Today, I found in my garden a dead gecko, a dead frog and a crippled bat. Then there's the neighbour's cat staring back at me. FML.

agreeclassic 2

vote type 1 1

By what the fuck - 18/03/2016 06:17 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I started my second 2 hour training shift at my new job. My boss ended up lecturing me three times, told me I was incompetent, and forced me to leave early. All I did was wash tables. FML

agreeclassic 2

vote type 1 1

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, whilst visiting one of my distant cousins for the first time in years, she came onto me. After gently explaining to her that this was inappropriate, she broke down in tears. Whilst I awkwardly comforted her, she started stroking my inner thigh, apparently still trying to seduce me. FML

agreeclassic 1 133

vote type 1 142

Today, my fiancée told me she can't marry me. Our wedding day is tomorrow and around 20 of our 180 guests attending have travelled half way around the world just for the occasion. FML

agreeclassic 61 160

vote type 1 3 772

Today, I was drunk at a festival. I finally found the chippy, only to spend 7 quid on chips and curry sauce that my deck chair was never going to let me eat. FML

agreeclassic 563

vote type 1 973

Today, my girlfriend of two months and I are in completely different points in our lives. She ambushed me with ideas of having kids, getting married and being together forever. Currently, my biggest concern is passing the tenth grade. FML

agreeclassic 28 313

vote type 1 2 757

Today, I pretended to cry in front of my cat because she doesn't cuddle with me anymore. Yeah, I tried to guilt-trip my cat into loving me. FML

agreeclassic 45 148

vote type 1 12 305

Today, I accidentally poured milk into my bowl of chips. FML

agreeclassic 23 944

vote type 1 8 393