Nearly FMLs

By Sadsquatch - 18/03/2016 02:21 - United States - Portland

Today, my fiancé, who I've been with for 6 years, told me that he has to cancel our wedding that we've been planning for about a year. The reason? He just found out from a psychic he's been seeing that "it's bad luck to marry a woman with big feet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 18/03/2016 02:19 - United States - Concord

Today my mother told me I needed to apologize to my friend because I hang out with her boyfriend a lot. I introduced them to each other and apparently talking to my friend is bad FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By littleterror - 18/03/2016 02:08 - United States - Grand Ledge

Today, it was my birthday. My grandma that I have not seen for years decided to come. She brought me a gift that I had to unwrap in front of the whole family. She got me a very expensive makeup kit because she thought i was a girl. She only saw pictures of me. I am a male with long blond hair.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By lilo16 - 18/03/2016 02:07 - United States - San Francisco

Today, i've been working on a reasearch paper for 3 hours......as i was about to save it my computer restarted and deleted everything....its due tomorrow. Who needs sleep anyways right...FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By thebiteof87 - 18/03/2016 02:03

Today, my teacher told me that people haven't been teasing me, I'm just hearing voices in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By rhirhi923 - 18/03/2016 01:59 - United States

Today, I was diagnosed with a yeast infection. The medication the doctor gave me made me nauseous to the point of almost vomiting. Then my period started. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Y O Y - 18/03/2016 01:58 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, I learned the hard way that a 22 year old virgin can give himself genital herpes. No I didn't do anything crazy, just accidentally transferred the cold sores I've been getting since preschool all the way down there. Looks like this virginity thing will be more permanent than I thought. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By whatthepain - 18/03/2016 01:48 - United States - Acton

Today, I had a dream that I was giving birth. Even though I am 18 and a virgin. I woke up to excruciating pain in my private area. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By RazorNaga - 18/03/2016 01:40 - United States - Brookfield

Today, I was talking with my ex among with some mutual friends. I still haven't gotten over her, but she got herself a new boyfriend. He flirts with her the same way I used to and shares the same classes with her that I do. The final touch? His name is a shortened version of my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By MorganH - 18/03/2016 01:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because his mother doesn't like me. We're both 27 years old and don't live with our parents. His mother doesn't even live in our state.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Karmasabitch - 18/03/2016 01:12 - United States

Today, while at the gym working out with my buddies, we saw a rather wimpy looking guy having trouble with some small weights. We started laughing at him, and in the process I dropped a 40 pound weight on my foot. My toe is now completely broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 2

By mylifesucks.org - 18/03/2016 00:50 - United States - Middle River

Today, my girlfriend went through my messages and saw a text that said "hey hun. what do you want for dinner. see you soon love you." and then chucked my phone and broke up with me. ....... the text was from my mom

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 18/03/2016 00:46 - United States - Quincy

Today, I went to the bathroom for 5 minutes and I left my phone in the kitchen and my little brother took it went on Facebook and posted a selfie of him naked on my page. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By unlucky Irish lady - 18/03/2016 00:37

Today, I realized this is the third Saint Patrick's day in a row that I've had bad luck. With the past two years having lost two dogs to getting hit by cars and this year my car was hit in the parking lot not 20 minutes after I got to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 18/03/2016 00:18 - United States - Ridgefield

Today, I left note on the wall in front of the urinal asking people to clean up after themselves if they make a mess. Apparently the obese man who physically can't help but leave a puddle of piss on the floor yet doesn't throw paper towels down figured out it was me, and I got written up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Konnichiwashingston - 18/03/2016 00:06 - United States - Mclean

Today, my son got suspended from school for duck-taping together the faces of a kissing couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 18/03/2016 00:05 - United States - Louisville

Today, after losing my job and deciding it was no longer a good idea to go to the movies to see a movie I have wanted to watch for a while, my fiancé decides the money will be better spent on buying weed. This would be fine if I actually smoked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By jelrid - 18/03/2016 00:03 - United States - Coldwater

Today, I realized just how bad my sleep deprivation has been of late when I asked the anesthesiologist "just five more minutes!" After she revived me from surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Tash - 17/03/2016 23:55 - Australia - South Yarra

Today, my guy-friend came over for a swim in my pool. We decided to play chase. Bad idea. In his desperate attempt to tag me, he grabbed the bottoms to my bikini to stop me swimming away. Down they went, and we both said, "Let's pretend that never happened." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 17/03/2016 23:53 - United States - Laconia

Today, I found out that my mom is cheating on my dad, either I could tell nobody and let it haunt me for the rest of my life, or I could tell my parents which will probably get a divorce and ruin my mom and my recently friendly relationship, and also destroy my little brother's childhood. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By patiently idiotic - 17/03/2016 23:34 - Australia

Today, I was looking forward to getting coffee with a girl who asked me out yesterday, who I've had a crush on for months. Turns out my phone decided not to recieve her texts saying she'd arrived and we've both been waiting for the other to 'arrive' for about 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By DisneyDude - 17/03/2016 23:32 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my sister stopped speaking to me because I don't have the money to join her and her family on the vacation to Disneyland she'd been planning. Sorry I'm poor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By BranTheCasualMan - 17/03/2016 23:23 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was dreaming that I was going to the bathroom, only to wake up to me taking a leak in reality. To make matters worse my room mates know, and have been giving me shit over it. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By dafudge1 - 17/03/2016 23:14 - Canada - London

Today, after a month of not seeing each other, I told my boyfriend I missed him and asked him if he missed me too. He then accused me of "fishing for compliments." FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Moon - 17/03/2016 23:06 - Netherlands - Uden

Today, while working, a 70-year old guy told me I'd be his if he was 50 years younger, and that I'd have no choice in the matter. He also insisted on walking me home. I now have to sneak out the back door after every shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ChanniLeigh - 17/03/2016 22:50 - United States - Traverse City

Today, being that my hubby doesn't know what day St. Patty's day is I stopped by his work to pinch him for not wearing green..evidently him and his boss are dopple gangers in their uniform, and pinching his ass wasn't a good idea..also I can't go to his work anymore for free car washes.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Joshawott - 17/03/2016 22:49 - United Kingdom - Cumbernauld

Today, shortly after getting in the shower, a courier knocked on my door. After getting out, throwing on my bathrobe, collecting it and returning to the bathroom, I looked in the mirror and realised I had a big glob of shampoo in my hair the whole time. It was white. That explains the look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By fmlbrat - 17/03/2016 22:44 - United States - Spring Valley

Today, I walked into my bedroom after an exhausting work day and lifted my blanket to see a giant spider under it. I have a huge fear of even the smallest spider and apparently my brother thought it would be funny to scare me with his new fake spider. I'm still feeling faint after an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By IamHM - 17/03/2016 22:32 - United States - Albuquerque

Today I decided to walk home. Halfway there, I overheated and tried to make it to the bus. It passed me by before I could get to the stop. After running to try to catch it, I had to walk home anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 17/03/2016 22:31 - United States - Pomona

Today, I went into a gas station. When I walked in the door there were two pennies on the ground. I picked them up and said "It's my double lucky day!" My sister walked ahead of me, only about 2 ft and found a 20$ bill. She picked it up and said "$20! It's my lucky day!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my grandma was arrested for throwing her cane at a man who she thought was mocking her walk. That man was my boyfriend's father, who limps because of his cerebral palsy. He refuses to drop the assault charges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 859

You deserved it 657

Today, I shadowed an ultrasound technician for my future career. She did an ultrasound on me to show me how to do the job. I found out I was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 843

You deserved it 13 386

Today, my dad caught me having sex with my secret boyfriend, so he threw him naked into the street. I’m 28 years-old and it’s my house. This kind of bullshit is exactly the reason I kept my boyfriend a secret and why I got a mortgage I can barely afford, just so I didn’t live with my dad anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 235

You deserved it 408

Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review because some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framed by my own colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 941

You deserved it 14 887

Today, I spent five hours in the back seat of a car with two dogs. Both had been sprayed by a skunk earlier in the day. One had a gas problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 738

You deserved it 214

Today, I had a major "WTF?" moment when a teenage goth, who was clearly still drunk at 7 a.m., with a vodka bottle in his pocket, plonked down next to me on the train, glanced at my crossword and pointed out where I’d gotten three words wrong, and one word that was right but misspelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 565