Nearly FMLs

By anon - 19/03/2016 03:37 - United States - Ellettsville

Today,I went through a 16 hour drive home from spring break in Florida with a girl who sang every song that came on the radio. No matter how loud the music got, she was louder.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Yazrana - 19/03/2016 03:35 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my bf asked me to look after his son while he plays cricket. Not even an hour in and the boy projectile vomits through his room. He spewed so violently I even found spew UNDER the mattress. Now his Mum or his Dad aren't answering the phone.. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anon - 19/03/2016 02:16 - United States - Tucson

Today, while caring for my sister who got surgery to remove her wisdom teeth, I had to make a trip to the ER. Not because she pulled her stitches but because I randomly fainted, cracked my head open, and broke my arm in the process.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By fungusamongus - 19/03/2016 02:13 - United States - Challis

Today, I realized just how bad the conditions in my house are when I discovered mushrooms growing in a corner of my bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By DrProfessor777 - 19/03/2016 02:03 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I had to drive across town because my mom called the wrong pharmacy rather than the one down the street for my brother's medicine. When I got home she grounded me for taking too long and won't believe why. Now I'm missing out on prom, first date with my crush and a field trip to Six Flags FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By carrier_pigeon - 19/03/2016 02:03 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my mother told me we would be taking my brothers' horrible dog and evil cat with us when she and I move to another state in a few months, just because they don't want to take care of them. I was looking forward to living without them, because they make my already bad anxiety worse. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By dasmallweewee - 19/03/2016 01:57 - United States - Fountain Valley

Today, I was about to have sex. When i took off my pants, the girl said "Nope,nope, nope. Fuck this i'm out." When I tried to send her a message on Facebook, she blocked me. Now i am still a virgin, and feeling very insecure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Life - 19/03/2016 01:31 - United States - Greer

Today, I was arguing with my friend and as an insult, he said I had a weak pull out game. I was shocked, but my mom chimed in and said 'Go ask your father about a 'weak pullout game'. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By clueless - 19/03/2016 00:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to wake up early for a meeting at work. I was so tired that I accidentally left the house with two right shoes. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Askavi - 19/03/2016 00:27 - Australia - Chatswood

Today, my 3 year old nephew had a tantrum when I wouldn’t let him play with the app on my iPhone that I use to keep a track of my periods. He thinks I am keeping the best game in the world from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 19/03/2016 00:26 - United States

Today, my broke, overweight brother came over to help me spread mulch around the house because I'm paying him. He spent the next hour complaining about politics as I kept shoveling, drank my last 3 sodas and stole one of my deck chairs. He just texted me asking when he'll get paid.FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By NotChristian - 19/03/2016 00:26 - United States

Today, I saw two men walking past my house, and one looked extremely similar to one of my neighbors. I enthusiastically yelled out,"Hey!" and waved. Turns out they were from a Church, and I basically invited them to an hour long conversation about Jesus. I'm an atheist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By anon - 19/03/2016 00:24 - United States

Today, me and my family set off on an 8 hour drive to Vegas, on the way there we realized we forgot the tickets to all of our shows and when we finally arrived we found out we made the hotel reservation for next weekend, we have been planning this trip for a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Thanks_Mom - 19/03/2016 00:09 - United States - Jasper

Today during an argument with my mom. She told me to kill myself. She knows I suffer from depression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By prego - 19/03/2016 00:06 - Canada - Toronto

Today, being 7 months pregnant, my 32 year old fiancé thinks it's hilarious to squeeze my boobs as hard as he can to make them leak...they do FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By cats1234 - 18/03/2016 23:35 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, I was counting the til in the morning at my job to find $380 missing, only me and another girl work at that location and she worked the day before. Even though I let my manger know right when I noticed it is somehow my fault and they said I have to replace to money I didn't take or lose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anon - 18/03/2016 23:30 - United States - Columbus

Today, I was telling my friends how much I wanted to go deep sea fishing and how it's been a life long dream. As I was explaining the fun it would be, one of my friends left the room. He can back saying he booked a deep sea fishing trip for 5 people. There's 6 of us. I don't get to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By partyanimano - 18/03/2016 23:30 - United States - Bay City

Today, I went to a party with my best friend, the guy I like was there and told me we would hook up, half way through the party he started making out with my best friend and totally ignored me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By wrecked - 18/03/2016 23:22 - United States

Today, I recently got my truck fixed after a rod snapped while I was driving, causing me to hit a pole in a parking lot on my lunch break. Today's lunch consisted of the same accident repeating itself. I'm starting to think my truck is cursed. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By reluctantAtlas - 18/03/2016 23:14 - United States - Irving

Today, I got to work in an amazing mood. Remembered to grab my umbrella and everything. I walked in the door and immediately got jumped on for being an hour late. Guess who looked at the wrong day on her schedule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By depressed - 18/03/2016 23:05 - United States - Bradenton

Today, I got back from spring break in Florida. We don't have a lot of money so we scraped together everything we had for 12 years to go on vacation my senior year. On the first day, some jackass threw his bottle of whiskey on the ground cutting my foot wide open. I spent the week in the hospital.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Jarwilem - 18/03/2016 22:56 - United States - Lees Summit

Someone clogged the toilet this morning, and everybody says it wasn't them. Instead of unclogging it, my brothers decide to pile their own shit on top of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Midnightpearls - 18/03/2016 22:45 - United States

Today, I was reaching for a shirt under my bed when I slammed my funny bone against the metal frame. It hurt so badly I threw up on my floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By BennyWoddle - 18/03/2016 22:39 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

At work I ran my first shift in the kitchen. We made over £1350 in 2.5 hours but I burned my face and eye badly cooking. When I burned my face, in shock I dropped some food. After a sleepless night due to pain and fear of waking up blind my boss says "I heard you dropped £40 worth of food" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By InsipidPotatoes - 18/03/2016 21:37 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, my cat finally got over his fear of baths. Too bad it was when I was taking one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Crushed - 18/03/2016 21:35 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I was driving on the highway when traffic started to slow down to a halt. I guess the semi-truck 3 cars back didn't notice and crashed into the first car daisy-chaining the next 2 into mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By lemonlime66 - 18/03/2016 21:33 - United States - Denver

Today, a guy I like drove up to the drive-thru window where I work. My coworker knew that I liked him, so he told me to go help him. I tried to walk nonchalant and cool over to the him, but I tripped on the rug and faceplanted right into the the window. He was laughing so hard he couldn't even tell me his order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By theneed4steve - 18/03/2016 21:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I lost my mothers VW keys and didn't realize it until I was headed home from work. I also didn't realize my pick up, and hatchback keys along with my home keys were attached to it too. The only spare keys are out of town with my mother. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 2

By Batibat - 18/03/2016 20:58 - United States - Bradenton

Today, my dad told me he refuses to have anything to do with me until I stop smoking weed. This would be a completely understandable reaction if he didn't buy weed from my boyfriend every week.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Friend zone victim. - 18/03/2016 20:57 - United States - Winthrop

Today, I had the courage to tell the girl that I am crazy for how I feel she then said "I like you to much as a friend... Also I gave ur friend a BJ yesterday." My friend knew I really liked this girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 70

Today, I was at a restaurant, and I saw my friend. When we made eye contact, I made a creepy face at her and twitched my arms to make her laugh. A woman looked over said sadly, "Oh my God, that poor girl!" She thought I was "special." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 734

You deserved it 26 980

Today, my girlfriend put her hand on my abs and confessed that she was glad I'd secretly started working out. I couldn't bring myself to admit that I've been constipated for three weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 52

Today, while working at McDonald's, a guy asked me to deep fry his salad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 992

You deserved it 3 239

Today, my mother and I saw a stall selling colourful treats at the shopping centre. Some were placed on small dishes, so we thought we'd sample their goods. Turns out that the colourful goodies that we'd bit into were very creative pieces of soap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 222

You deserved it 45 508

Today, I just realized the last time I showered was while my grandma was still alive. My grandma died four months ago. Depression really does a number on you without you noticing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 322