Nearly FML

By hurtfoot - 07/04/2016 20:31 - United States - Severna Park

Today, I was talking with some friends in class when this one kid decided it would be funny to try and pick me up. I hurt my foot running a month ago so when he let go of me I landed on it and caused a stress fracture that means I can't walk for a few weeks. FML

agreeclassic 4

vote type 1 1

By annoyedperson - 07/04/2016 20:21 - United States - Franklin

Today, I found out that my sister isn't a lesbian she's been having sex with my boyfriend for over a month. fml

agreeclassic 7

vote type 1 1

By Kotlopou - 07/04/2016 20:17 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, I realised my procrastination problem went really too far when I started learning Norwegian instead of doing something with my procrastination problem. FML

agreeclassic 4

vote type 1 1

By loser - 07/04/2016 19:59 - Canada - Rockland

Today, i found out my boyfriend is on tinder. His excuse for being on it, i have trouble trusting him since he was flirting with some girls on facebook and caught the messages between them. Now he blames everything on me, according to our friends, i need to apologize for going through his phone. fML

agreeclassic 4

vote type 1 3

By stupid - 07/04/2016 19:58 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, I met my neighbour. He came into my house, complained about the decor, stood on my dogs foot and shit in the kitchen bin. FML

agreeclassic 4

vote type 1 1

By ImaSuckerV2 - 07/04/2016 19:40 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I realized that the only one that has made me happy recently is a video game character. FML

agreeclassic 4

vote type 1 1

By pohoon - 07/04/2016 19:33 - United States

Today, after moving in a new house, I had to move out of my room into the living room after finding a bedbug infestation. I then had a desperate transition to sleeping on my kitchen floor on a blanket after finding termites in my furniture. I discovered the cockroach infestation the hard way. FML

agreeclassic 5

vote type 1 1

By just great - 07/04/2016 19:19 - United States

Today, my period decided to come early and bleed through my white underwear and pants while I was shopping, I had to sit in the bathroom for 10 minuets waiting for a friend to buy some tampons because the dispenser in the bathroom was empty

agreeclassic 4

vote type 1 1

By pureNed - 07/04/2016 19:07 - United States - Fredericktown

Today, my girlfriend told me she is losing her love for me and has hinted that she has been cheating. This is all after I asked her parents to marry her, custom made a beautiful ring for her, planned a two month trip with her, and had all the plans to propose to her in Scotland all set and ready to go. I'm broken. FML.

agreeclassic 5

vote type 1 1

By Anonymous - 07/04/2016 19:01 - United States

Today, on my way home from a long day and an even longer drive, I realized I had a flat tire. After fixing that, once I was nearly home, a deer came out of nowhere and hit my car. The whole side of my car was totaled. FML.

agreeclassic 3

vote type 1 0

By gingerlover01 - 07/04/2016 18:29 - United States

Today, my grandmother would rather believe I'm possessed by the devil than just deal with the fact that I'm atheist. FML.

agreeclassic 3

vote type 1 0

By Anonymous - 07/04/2016 18:27 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I told my friend that we should leave our science project in the room, instead she decieded put it in her locker. She left to go get her braces fixed next period, right before science class and didn't let me know. Leaving me with no project and no way to get it. FML

agreeclassic 3

vote type 1 0

By ganjashark - 07/04/2016 18:23 - United States - Galveston

Today, I just got a call at 8am saying they need me to go to work in 30 minutes. keep in mind I just worked last night till 5am. I said OK. I went to my medicine cabinet and went to grab these energy pills I bought and I accidentally grabbed my dads Viagra. let's just say it was a very hard shift.

agreeclassic 3

vote type 1 0

By Apparently Dumb - 07/04/2016 18:06 - United Kingdom - Worthing

Today, on the way to school, a boy who I carpool with spent the entire journey ranting about how dumb blondes are and how his blonde friend will never get a job. Some how this "clever" person managed to forget that the girl he carpooled with for over a year is blonde. FML

agreeclassic 4

vote type 1 0

By chelseaclaire - 07/04/2016 17:57 - United States - Riverside

Today, I shaved my legs, armpits, and private area. It took me three disposable razors and half a container of shaving cream. I've clearly been single for way too long. FML.

agreeclassic 3

vote type 1 0

By can you read? - 07/04/2016 17:54 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I got a ticket for driving without insurance. I gave the cop my insurance documentation but he said it was invalid because it didn't have an expiration date on it. When I pointed to the info he was looking for, he ignored me and gave me the ticket anyway. FML

agreeclassic 3

vote type 1 0

By kkmom - 07/04/2016 17:46 - United States - Ashland

Today, my mother drove 4 hours to my new house to take my Xbox away. She said she saw online they make people "evil". I'm 24 years old FML.

agreeclassic 4

vote type 1 0

By Anonymous - 07/04/2016 17:45 - United States - Delaware

Today, I learned that none of my new coworkers believe in evolution. FML

agreeclassic 3

vote type 1 0

By PikarooArtist - 07/04/2016 17:25 - United States - Mesquite

Today, my best friend asked if my boyfriend was bi, when I asked why he wanted to know it turns out that he "wanted a taste". FML

agreeclassic 4

vote type 1 0

By bloodybride - 07/04/2016 16:56 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I am getting married tomorrow, a few days ago I finished my period so happy it was perfectly timed, today I started some kind of freak second period FML

agreeclassic 3

vote type 1 0

By Skyfoogle - 07/04/2016 16:53 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Today, I'm the person in the social group that everyone secretly doesn't like and makes fun of. I've known that for six years. I'm only 16. FML

agreeclassic 4

vote type 1 1

By I_am_TheSixth - 07/04/2016 16:52 - Kenya

Today, my new fridge makes weird water dripping noises. I am now proud to announce that my bedwetting problem is back. FML

agreeclassic 3

vote type 1 0

By alone. - 07/04/2016 16:27 - United States - Decorah

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time he decided that I wasn't the right person for him and he just got up and left me. FML

agreeclassic 4

vote type 1 0

By estindoebodle - 07/04/2016 16:21 - United States - Billerica

Today, my fiance and I finally had sex after two weeks of fighting. I just got done treating a yeast infection. When we were done, it felt like my vagina was internally on fire. Two days later, it still burns and feels raw. FML.

agreeclassic 4

vote type 1 0

By Sigh - 07/04/2016 16:06 - United Kingdom - Malvern

Today was the first day of my new part-time job after a few month time of unemployment and it ended up with me being brought to tears by an old, obnoxious and rude man. I hate catering. FML

agreeclassic 3

vote type 1 0

By rip phone - 07/04/2016 15:52 - United States - Omaha

Today, my wife called and told me she was pregnant. My phone did not take the news well and died. Now she thinks I am going to leave her before the child is born. FML.

agreeclassic 4

vote type 1 0

By Bird123 - 07/04/2016 15:30 - Canada - Simcoe

Today, as I was walking , it was rainy and windy. My umbrella decided to break off, and hit a tree, where there was a bird. The bird got spooked and pooped on me. FML.

agreeclassic 3

vote type 1 0

By meekasaurous - 07/04/2016 15:05 - Canada - Vernon

Today, my dog tore the bottom hole of what was my nearly healed navel piercing, FML.

agreeclassic 3

vote type 1 0

By HereForDaLolZ - 07/04/2016 14:42 - United Kingdom - Neath

Today, I left a bouquet of flowers for a girl I like and left a note asking her out and left my name on the note. She called someone else who has the same name and they're now going out. FML

agreeclassic 3

vote type 1 0

By sexual dumbass - 07/04/2016 14:17 - United States - Moroni

Today, things were getting intimate with my girlfriend. As it picked up I wanted to try some dirty talk. "I love your massive cock in my pussy." She wouldn't stop laughing. FML

agreeclassic 3

vote type 1 1

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Today, my husband got mad at me because I asked if we could have 2 hours out of a 16-day trip to go to the beach, just us and our kids. Why is he mad at me for this? Because his mother will be upset if we go do something by ourselves without her. Her husband and the rest of her family will all be on this 16-day trip. FML

agreeclassic 1 247

vote type 1 142

Today, my cat was incessantly meowing trying to get me to wake up and feed him. Because it was 6 a.m., and I'd hardly slept at all last night, my brain decided that the best solution to get him to shut up would be to hug him. The result was a normally docile and lazy cat giving me a nasty scratch next to my left eye. FML

agreeclassic 597

vote type 1 306

Today, I was fired on my second day of work after a year and a half of unemployment. Apparently, my "tendency to solve problems instead of just accepting them made the other workers uneasy". FML

agreeclassic 54 670

vote type 1 3 637

Today, I met up with an old high school friend who I used to make fun of because he put so much effort into his studies. Turns out he makes my annual salary in a month. FML

agreeclassic 9 109

vote type 1 97 535

Today, I realised I like Britney Spears. FML

agreeclassic 14 253

vote type 1 34 078

Today, I got home from work, took a shower, got ready for bed, and laid down right in cat piss. Now I'm shampooing the mattress and taking another shower just to sleep on the couch. FML

agreeclassic 2 914

vote type 1 425