Nearly FML

By Where are our rights? - 19/04/2016 20:35 - United Kingdom - Stoke-on-trent

Today, a Bailiff came to collect £1,655 worth of debt out of belongings in mine, my boyfriend's and his mum's rented house. I wouldn't be so incensed if it was our debt. It's my boyfriend's constantly problematic brother's debt and as this is his 'registered' address, we've no say in the matter. FML

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By blazenkitty - 19/04/2016 20:26 - Canada - Tofino

Today, my Dad commented on the condensed milk I was eating, saying that it looked exactly like semen. Purely on reflex, I replied that it was the wrong colour. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/04/2016 20:26 - United States - Northridge

Today, I found out that my "friend" group of 2+ years only keeps me around because I'm easy to make fun of and bully due to my weight and my grades. FML.

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By dami - 19/04/2016 20:07 - United States

Today, my photo instructor had a sub. After repeating my name 4 times to her, she continued to call me Marvin. She managed to get everyone to call me Marvin for the remainder of the class. FML.

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By fucked - 19/04/2016 20:02 - United States - Chevy Chase

Today, when I asked my landlord to give me a closer space to park, as I am handicapped. She is now trying to evict me and says the Sherriff is on his way over. I've always paid my rent on time. FML

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By saxaddict122 - 19/04/2016 19:50 - United States - Vancouver

Today, I found out my dad has good taste in movies by walking in on him watching American Pie. I would be proud of his good taste had he not been paused on the Nadia topless scene fornicating with a peach cobbler... FML

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By ChiefKoala - 19/04/2016 19:47 - United States - Harriman

Today, it's week one of my broken ribs and bruised kidney, day two of my period and cramps, and week three of my allergies and sneezing multiple times in a row. FML

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By harmtouch16 - 19/04/2016 19:45 - United States - Bronx

Today after a 2 hour long conversation with my husband about a guy he thinks I have a crush on, we made love. After I spent all that time convincing him I let my mind wander about how I really felt and when I came I screamed out the guy's name. Pretty sure there's no redeeming myself now. FML.

agreeclassic 2

vote type 1 1

By happypenguins - 19/04/2016 19:39 - Canada - Medicine Hat

Today, my sister is visiting my parents and I. When I woke up I saw that she had plastered my entire room with spongebob squarepants. Including the ceiling. I don't even know how she got up there. Fml

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By picklekink? - 19/04/2016 19:36 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I came home to find a used condom on my sofa and a jar of peanut butter on my coffee table nothing else was amiss, I had been away for 10 days in Greece. FML

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By Wraith09 - 19/04/2016 19:25 - Canada - Holland Landing

Today, my Luddite boss gave me hell for "using up all the expensive colours" in the colour copier when I used it to scan documents to email to him. He seemed quite satisfied with his rationale that if the colours were on his monitor, they had to have come from the copier toner supply. FML

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By Heartbroken - 19/04/2016 19:07 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 3 years. She responded by breaking up with me and asked if she could keep the ring. FML.

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By elsie9900 - 19/04/2016 18:59 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while in an antique store with my mom she thought it would be a good idea to pick up a two inch ceramic mushroom and loudly state that it looks like my dad's penis. Everybody stared. FML

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By anonymous - 19/04/2016 18:57 - United States - Amenia

Today, my grandma is staying the week. I was packing to go to my boyfriend's house for the weekend when my mom called me. When I walked back upstairs my grandma was walking out of the bathroom with my birth control pills, now empty. She flushed them because I'm the "prime birthing age." FML

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By Anonymous - 19/04/2016 18:51 - United States - Sioux Falls

Today, I finally hooked up with my hot coworker. Too bad we got carried away and accidentally smashed my face into the wall. There's blood everywhere. FML.

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By whale_21 - 19/04/2016 18:30 - United States - Mckinney

Today, I was at a high school recruiting for my college color guard. Well, I was told by the assistant principals to sit down many times and stop disrupting lunch. I am a junior in college. FML

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By inappropriatekidschsracters - 19/04/2016 17:31 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my dad said to my mum "remember that programme that was on when we were kids, with those characters Seaman Stains and Master Bates?" Upon hearing this I spat my drink out all over the table and both my parents demanded an explanation as to what was so funny as they didn't get it. FML

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By why - 19/04/2016 17:06 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I have a broken finger, an infected tooth, a sore throat, and a dislocated shoulder. All this while stuck in traffic trying to get to the doctor's appointment. FML

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By punkcat - 19/04/2016 16:20 - United States - Naperville

Today, I woke up to my eyebrow being pierced. By my cat's teeth. FML

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By rainingSHIT - 19/04/2016 16:16 - United States - Corpus Christi

Today, the wheelchair bound thirteen year old I watch after was good all week so I took him to gamestop so he could buy a game with his allowance. The ramp was questionable so I gave him a piggyback ride. While paying,he took a shit on my back while the cashier laughed hysterically at me. FML

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By muffledpotato - 19/04/2016 16:11 - United States

Today, I decided to look pretty and wear a dress. This just so happened to be the same day that the vice principal decides that she's enforcing the dress code and my dress was too short. So I was forced to wear hideous multicolored leggings until my mom could come pick me up. FML

agreeclassic 2

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By tabi11200309 - 19/04/2016 15:58 - United States

Today, at work a customer congratulated me. I replied "I'm sorry?" They then said "You're pregnant, right?" No, I'm not, I had my baby 5 months ago, but thanks for telling me I look fat. FML

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By obewonstrangeone - 19/04/2016 15:27 - United States - Ravenna

Today, I was woken up by my roommate throwing ice on the ground. This is after he and his friend kept me up late playing video games. When his friend commented that he might wake me up, my roommate responded "Oh, she doesn't need to sleep." I worked 70 hours this week. FML

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By Disappointed - 19/04/2016 15:21 - United States - Newport News

Today, while having a Star Wars marathon my son, I mentioned the fact that Luke and Leia are twins. He asked me, "Wait, if Darth Vader is Luke's dad, then who is Leia's?" Sadly, he was completely serious. FML

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By failingschool - 19/04/2016 15:20 - United States - Cary

Today, I realized that I've been submitting my online assignments for one class wrong the whole semester. I realized that the dates listed on the course schedule are the due dates. I thought the dates were actually the dates the assignment became available. Looks like I'm failing this class. FML

agreeclassic 2

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By mason_brown17 - 19/04/2016 14:13 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I was walking to my teacher Mr. Sanders, who is a college friend of my mom, to see if I can make up a paper only to see that he's fucking my mom on my desk. FML

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By suffocator - 19/04/2016 14:12 - Malaysia

Today, I was going to hug my wife to sleep when she pushed me away and said she felt a big fat thing sufficating her. FML.

agreeclassic 2

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By MeatBeat - 19/04/2016 14:07 - United States - Amesbury

Today, I was in the bathroom listening to music when I heard a knock on my door, my brother just yells "are you jacking off!?" I didn't realize I was tapping my feet. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/04/2016 14:07 - United States - Spokane

Today, I was told I've been flagged for getting too many pain meds and am being cut off from the doctors who've been writing the prescriptions. The reason for the meds is because I have a painful bowel condition they can't figure out how to properly treat. FML

agreeclassic 1 921

vote type 1 131

By mason_brown17 - 19/04/2016 13:42 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I was in Hollister and I was going into the changing room and the door was locked. I kept trying to get before it finally flew open to the sight of a 12 year old girl naked which caused her dad to beat the shit out of me. FML

agreeclassic 2

vote type 1 1

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I was fired for "blatant, inexcusable racism". My boss had asked me which website background I preferred for our company, and I said that white backgrounds are usually best. He thinks that I believe in white supremacy, and that's bad for the company's image. FML

agreeclassic 35 999

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Today, I found a gift card under my bed that I lost a few months ago for $400 to a store that went out of business last week. FML

agreeclassic 38 292

vote type 1 13 143

Today, I got a call from the bank, telling me my mom's company is going broke. She's been on holiday for a month, and I had been appointed to manage it. FML

agreeclassic 954

vote type 1 205

Today, my boyfriend just told me that his mom told him to break up with me, and that she would pay him to do it. His mom is a bitch. FML

agreeclassic 425

vote type 1 106

Today, my grandson asked how old I am and whether I'd seen Mammoths "for real" when I was a kid. FML

agreeclassic 34 106

vote type 1 4 518

Today, I came home and was greeted by my dad telling me that he pawned my guitar for gas money. FML

agreeclassic 33 774

vote type 1 2 612