Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 18/04/2016 17:50 - India - Mumbai

Today, after six years of relationship my boyfriend told me that he doesn't want to get married to me because his mother thinks that I am not beautiful enough for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 18/04/2016 17:48 - Belgium - Leuven

Today, and as always my sex partner is addicted to social media. While I was going down on her I noticed her checking Facebook. I commented that I found this inappropriate. She laughingly reassured me that of course she was not on Facebook. She was just taking pictures to send to her girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By c'mon_man - 18/04/2016 17:47 - France

Today, i had to cross a road that only has traffic lights on one side and is often the scene of accidents. It was unusually calm so i could cross without difficulty. As i got to the other side, i got hit by a motorcycle, on the sidewalk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By danman27 - 18/04/2016 17:32 - United States - Oakland

Today, I was watching my brother play soccer, when the other team's goalie kicked the ball at my head so hard I had to go to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By kaiamanson - 18/04/2016 17:32 - United States - San Antonio

Today, My girlfriend and I moved to a new house, to get away from her stalker abusive ex. Little did we know my girlfriends mom had given him not only the key to our place but the address as well. When we got there he was standing in living room demanding my girlfriend and him get back together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By lesabber - 18/04/2016 17:30 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I was at the park with my girlfriend when a friend of her saw us and said "I didn't know you were lesbian". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By doyouwantmedead - 18/04/2016 17:28 - United Kingdom - London

Today, on my way to school, my upper stomach started progressively getting more and more unbearably painful, to the point I felt there was a large weight on my chest and it hurt to breathe. When I told my friend she jokingly asked if it was gas. It was. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 2

By Wolf6661 - 18/04/2016 17:21 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, at work as a mascot for a local pet store some jackass with more money than sense said if I'd gone to college I'd have a real job. I'm less than a month out from basic, and spending most of my time studying and working out. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By becca247 - 18/04/2016 17:19 - Germany - W?rrstadt

Today, my best friend, who has a boyfriend, tried to ship me with a cute friend of hers. I was really excited because I had a little crush on him for over two years. The evening ended with him confessing his undying love for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By kitty love - 18/04/2016 17:07 - United States - Allendale

Today, I moved into a house with some roommates and a pregnant cat. Nobody in the house liked the cat, so I decided to give her some love and treats. She repaid me by birthing her kittens in the dead center of my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Perv - 18/04/2016 16:58 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was looking at porn for a very long time. My browser only lets me clear the last 10 minutes of history at a time. While I was clearing, my mom came up and saw everything I looked at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By llama - 18/04/2016 16:47 - United States - Racine

Today, I found out that the saddle I bought for my horse not only does not fit, but could never possibly fit. I only chose it because the saddle fitter said it fit! Now she refuses to take it back even though she is the one who ordered the wrong size. I'm out $2700. fml

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By princessolorio - 18/04/2016 16:47 - United States - Logan

Today, I found out my boyfriend lied. A year ago, his ex started talking to him again, and he claimed she meant nothing. Here we are a year later. Turns out the child she gave birth to is my boyfriend's son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By Mr Lonely - 18/04/2016 16:40 - Italy - Milan

Today, I started a new game of Dark Souls 3 at the same time a streamer started playing, stopping and waiting each time I got ahead of him, just so I could pretend I was playing a game with a friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Legend15 - 18/04/2016 16:33 - United Kingdom - Harrow

Today, I was looking at a girl's ass across the street, failing to notice the pavement drop, my Samsung galaxy s6 edge plus fell into the perfectly sized drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 2

By HBND - 18/04/2016 16:23 - United States - Arlington

Today, I woke early in the morning to go to school and finish some work for class, only to arrive at 7:30 and find out school was cancelled for the day due to bad weather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By yougottabekiddinme - 18/04/2016 16:17 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I got kicked out of orientation because my birth certificate copy wasn't "authentic" enough. I won't be able to pay my bills this month because of that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Conoreo - 18/04/2016 15:50 - United States - Laurel

Today, I tried to imagine what it would be like to have sex. After a few minutes of trying, I realized I couldn't. Not only can I not have sex in real life, I can't in my imagination either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 2

By joeyl2008 - 18/04/2016 15:44 - United States

Today, I've been single for so long that my 5 year old niece started trying to set me up with girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 18/04/2016 14:48 - United States - Bronx

Today I was at a party and not only made dinner for everyone by myself but also cleaned everything up by myself. It took my boyfriend about an hour to realize I wasn't partying in the basement with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By misunderstoodlesbian - 18/04/2016 14:45 - Denmark - Odense

Today, I had to patiently wait for my best friend's girlfriend to stop yelling at me in front of the entire school during lunch break in the cafeteria. Apparently I am stealing her boyfriend and making a fool of her. I'm a lesbian. I had to come out to the entire school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By The666Ghost - 18/04/2016 14:37 - United States - Houston

Today, i woke up to find out three things. One the power is out. Two my phone is dead because my roommate took my charger. Three my car was stolen and i have no phone to call the police. Which also means I'm going to miss work and a huge project was due today. There goes my dream job.FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By short.stuff - 18/04/2016 14:27 - United States - Macon

Today, my friends won a bet, and I had to get my penis pierced. The woman looked at my penis and asked me to erect it. It already was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By foreversingle - 18/04/2016 14:24 - United States - Irvine

Today, actually last night, I finally went on a date. We went to a sports game & even made it on the screen for the kiss cam! Unfortunately it was right after I ate a garlic fry. I burped in his mouth. He definitely noticed. So did the other 18,998 people. I don't think I'm getting a 2nd date. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By anonymoose - 18/04/2016 13:53 - Canada - Lethbridge

Today, as I was about to get into the shower I thought I looked especially good. I quickly took a nude and sent it to my boyfriend on snapchat. When I got out of the shower, I checked to see if he had replied. I sent it to my story and 16 people had already seen it FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 2

By BritInAmerica - 18/04/2016 13:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my boss also likes the ribs at T.G.I Friday's, when he sat on the table next to me on his lunch when I'm supposed to be bedridden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 3

By Qotsa - 18/04/2016 13:06 - United Kingdom - London

Today I got high with my boyfriend and had amazing sex. Afterwards he turned to me and looked in my eyes, and then told me that I would make a really great smurf. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 18/04/2016 13:03 - United States - Newington

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while I live at her families house and now I have to look at her everyday. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By MyTongueHurts - 18/04/2016 12:56 - Bahamas - Nassau

Today, I had my first French Kiss. It was great, until her tongue touched mine, and for some reason I am very ticklish in that spot, causing me to clench my jaw and pull away. I now have tooth shaped bites from my own teeth on my tongue, amounting to 8 stitches. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anon - 18/04/2016 12:49 - United States - Apo

Today, I got no tip from an $80 check because the man paying said he "didn't see enough boob to warrant a tip". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, and for sometime, my husband and I have been discussing owning a home - a house or an apartment or other options. I've always wanted to live in a house, but I'm 100% sure I can't keep up with the chores or keep it clean. An apartment I can manage to clean, but not a house. I told him my vote is for apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 365

Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After I said no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 285

You deserved it 9 982

Today, right before my hubby got home and walked into the bedroom, I farted. The smell was so bad that he thought he'd stepped in shit and to looked at the bottom of his shoes for dog poop. I laughed so hard, but with a horrified look he asked, "How"? He says I've got to see a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 366

Today, it's "family fun night." We're pulling weeds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 496

You deserved it 2 710

Today, after not being able to sleep for two hours because my boyfriend wouldn't stop talking, he fell asleep and I was left wide awake. I listened to him snore for another three hours and only got a couple of hours sleep. He's not working today, but I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 461

You deserved it 3 334

Today, I brought my new girlfriend over to show off to my family when my senile great-grandmother walked into the room wearing nothing but her underpants asking when the Olympics come on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 465

You deserved it 2 722